


To The Stars Through Difficulties

by HappyWookie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Gray Jedi, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, No Smut, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Soft Ben Solo, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 72,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24841876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyWookie/pseuds/HappyWookie
Summary: Although the Resistance defeated the Final Order, the galaxy is not free from the First Order's clutches. When a new leader takes over the First Order, the Resistance have a few problems. Rey is a mess after Ben's death however he returns. He joins the Resistance and they attempt to dismantle the First Order and reduce it completely into ashes.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 69
Kudos: 47





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first fanfiction but I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Rey returns from Tatooine and struggles to enjoy a party occurring at the Resistance. Both Finn and Poe know something is up with Rey but will she tell them what happened?

Like adventurers climbing a mountain, the triplet of moons that orbited the desert planet of Tatooine trekked across the sky. Rey sat in the cockpit of the Falcon watching the celestial spheres rise into the sky. After the twin suns had gone, Rey had made her way back to the Falcon to go home. Home? Was Ajan Kloss really her home? She concluded it was because of the people there. Home didn’t necessarily have to be a place; it can be a person or a group.

As she turned on the engine of the Falcon, Rey prepared herself for the journey home making sure she had everything prepared and double checked everything before leaving the atmosphere and making the jump to lightspeed. Rey was aware that BB8 was knocking over things in the back room but didn’t get up to see what he was doing. Instead, Rey brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tight. Loneliness engulfed her. Yes, she was literally alone; there was no one else in the cockpit with her but she felt like something was missing. Or someone. Rey knew what was missing but didn’t want to accept it. Him. She was missing him. Missing Ben. The forcebond made her feel complete which would explain why, with him gone, emptiness consumed her as if she were standing in the middle of the desert, all alone. For a time, Rey had been in the middle of a desert all alone; with nothing but masses of sand for company. Oh, and Plutt. 

Blues and whites streaked past momentarily changed the colour of the cockpit as Rey focused on the calm hum of the engine. This journey gave her time to think. Time to come to terms with what she had done. Who she had lost and who she was. Many people from the Resistance died in the battle, including herself for some time, most of whom she didn’t know the names of. None except her had a force sensitive being to bring her back to life either. Those last few moments were precious with Ben. She smiled wider than she ever thought she could and kissed the man who came to save her. Rey knew Ben didn’t have a plan and to be fair, neither did she. She knew she needed to destroy Palpatine and made a terrible decision to go alone. Maybe if she’d waited for Ben after she healed him, maybe he wouldn’t be dead. 

A tear rolled down her cheek but Rey didn’t stop it. More followed but she just let them fall onto her knees then run down her legs onto her little boots. Crying was not unusual for Rey. Spending 19 years unaccompanied waiting for her parents seemed to make her cry a lot. At times, she even resented them for leaving her but now she knows the real story. She’s a Palpatine. She has the blood in her veins that is the same as the blood in the Emperor. Her Grandfather ruled the Empire and had been pulling the strings for the First Order the entire time. It explained the growing darkness and anger inside of her which came out in quick flashes. Although most of the time she could stop it, Rey worried that there could be one time where she doesn’t. She didn’t know how to control it other than just think of the light and not give in to darkness but Rey knew she had a dark streak that was potentially dangerous. Who would be able to stop her if she gave into it? She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Rey just had to learn to stop it as there was no one else who understood. Ben would know what to do with the darkness. Except Ben wasn’t here. Ben was gone and Rey guessed she would just have to accept that.

When Rey felt him on Exegol she wasn’t sure if it was him or not. He was different. He wasn’t the angry and confused Kylo Ren who was filled with turmoil, this was Ben. The person Leia, Han, Luke and Rey had all fought so hard to save. His presence was soothing almost and when they had the forcebond, seeing him, seeing Ben on the light side had filled Rey with so much hope and as he nodded to her, she knew what he was asking and dropped him the lightsaber and attacked the guards in red. They weren’t anywhere near Rey’s capability and as she went to defeat the last one Ben was standing there in its place. He had walked up to her and she felt her heart do a little flutter as they turned to her Grandfather who sucked their power out and Rey remembers falling on the floor. 

After waking up she tried calling on the force ghosts who came and gave her the power to defeat Palpatine but it wiped all the energy out of her. Rey had looked to the stars as she fell. Being awoken by Ben and holding him made those few precious seconds seemed timeless. Kissing Ben after wanting to do so in the lift up to Snoke was so satisfying. It was a kiss full of love, passion and relief. Seeing Ben smile made Rey’s heart melt and his eyes were full of happiness and she finally felt like she belonged somewhere in this vast galaxy. Then she sensed him fading in the force and tightly held onto his hand like it would bring him back. Watching his body fade destroyed her. A few seconds ago, she had felt safe and wanted but then there was nothing but loss. She felt all the lives that had been lost in the skies above. She saw no point in waiting here and decided to take his sweater and climb into Luke’s x-wing and followed the rest of the Resistance fleet home. The sight of the TIE next to her x-wing upset her but she had stayed strong not wanting to release the tears. 

BB8 asking a question brought her back into reality. Immediately, she wiped her tears off her cheeks and spun the chair around to answer his question, ‘yeah, I’m fine thank you BB8,’ she said unconvincingly but quickly changes the subject to, ‘what were you doing back there? I could hear you moving things.’ Which BB8 replied telling Rey he was organising the tools to which Rey thanked him for.

Time passed slowly and finally blinking lights told Rey she needed to leave lightspeed. With a few clicks of buttons, the lush green of Ajan Kloss was soon in view and caused a wave of relief to roll over her as she could see Finn, Poe and Chewie again. It had been far too long. How long Rey had been gone for, she had no clue but the fact that she was travelling across the galaxy meant a while. Rey wondered whether the Resistance would be any different. The numbers were still likely to be low but over time, they would increase.

When she landed the Falcon, it was evening and the gas giant Ajara dominated the orange-turning-black sky. Cheers, music and laughter filled the air. These scenes were unfamiliar to Rey; she assumed that this was a party. Rey had never been to a party before. Growing up on Jakku took her childhood and any form of happiness away from her. 

Rey had left Ajan Kloss shortly after the mass funeral that mourned all the lives lost on Exegol. She left before Jannah who was leaving with the rest of her friends to go and cause lots of uprisings across the galaxy and free any remaining planets still ruled by the First Order. Jannah was inspiring and made Rey proud of knowing her. 

The first night Rey didn’t really want to party so she just went and lay in bed before eventually falling asleep and in the morning, they held a funeral for all those who had died on Exegol. Rey almost protested to make something for Ben but didn’t want to reveal who had come to save her yet as they wouldn’t understand. Wouldn’t understand that she’s missing half herself because she was part of a dyad. Rey refused to tell anyone and decided that she would have to deal with it by herself and left for Tatooine with little goodbyes but promised to return. The journey has given her time to come to term rush of events.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Finn spotted Rey looking rather confused at the situation. He ran up to her and her face lit up. It changed from confusion to happiness in a rapid second and his thoughts lingered on her confusion from moments ago coming to the realisation that she’d probably never been to a party. Finn decided that he’d have to show Rey the best night of her life because she’d deserved it. 

Feeling her force presence diminish broke him but it magically reappeared and Finn had yet to ask Rey why. He sensed her sadness after coming back in Luke’s x-wing but he didn’t feel it was the right moment to ask what caused it- they did win after all. Plus, Finn still had to confess to Rey that he’s force sensitive. Something he’s only just come to terms with. Right now, Rey deserved to party and have fun. He smiled at her and lead her to the clearing where Poe was making speech.

‘Thank you everyone. We are here again to celebrate the victory of destroying the Final Order and simultaneously destroying the First Order. Although we still have to free some systems, the remains of the First Order will struggle without a leader.’ Poe paused noticing Rey then continued. ‘As she is now back from… um her journey, we would like to thanks Rey for defeating Palpatine all by herself. Incredible.’ People patted Rey on the back and she looked overwhelmed but slightly confused Finn noted. Maybe she hadn’t got this type of recognition before but something was nagging Finn that there was more to the story. ‘Enjoy this week’s party. Have fun but be up ready for duty tomorrow morning.’ Poe half joked. As if on cue, the sky exploded with shades of cobalt blues to crimson reds. Finn watched Rey who stared in awe at these and presumed she’d never seen the before. Unfortunately growing up on a backwater world declined any pleasurable moment like these.

‘I’ve never been to a party before.’ Rey confessed with a hint of sadness that Finn picked up but only because he’d noticed it many times before. Finn gave her a sympathetic look and replied,

‘This will be the best night you’ve ever had then. Let’s get you a drink,’ Rey nodded and followed Finn to a table where drinks lay with all different coloured liquids. Some looked more appetising than others. Finn helped Rey select and non-alcoholic drink which she swallowed swiftly before refilling.

Finn saw that the decorations mesmerized Rey. Little lights were attached to string which had been hung from branch to branch giving a warm, cosy effect to the scene as well as lighting up the clearing. Flies buzzed around the bulbs trying to get through them as if it were a necessity. Thankfully, the lights were up high enough that the flies didn’t fly low enough to bother them. 

With little breeze in the air, it was still humid but as night grew closer it cooled to a temperature which often required extra layers. Twinkling in the sky, the stars were partially visible due to the setting of the sun although it still lingered in the sky painting its vicinity a soft orange.

Finn nudged Rey which caused her to stop gazing and be brought back to reality. He signalled for Rey to follow him and led her through swarms of people hovering around drinks and food tables not unlike the flies clinging to the bulbs above. They found Poe talking to a woman with a maroon suit and a gold helmet that shined even now, at night. Finn raised an eyebrow at Rey and she shrugged not knowing Zorri was with the Resistance either. Rey questioned whether they should give them some alone time and Finn suggested that they took a walk. 

Finn sat on a near tree log and invited Rey to join him. They were away from the party but music and laughter could still be heard from where they sat however it was distant so the chirps of the birds fluttering somewhere between the dense leaves was audible. Finn turned to Rey and looked at her; something was off about her and Finn wanted to help her with whatever was going on. Though he needed to tell her that he was force sensitive, that could wait. Right now, Finn needed Rey to tell him what was troubling her.

‘Rey? Are you okay?’ Finn asked making sure there was enough sympathy to get her to open up to him- all of it was genuine of course. Finn and Poe found out from D-O that the Emperor wanted her but he didn’t know why. He wasn’t going to ask but he felt like Rey knew about it. Although he didn’t want to press her for answers, he didn’t think he knew her at all recently. Finn deeply cared about her and when he felt her die on Exegol his heart ached and the air was ripped out his chest. When her presence mysteriously returned, he was ecstatic. They got into this war together and both haven’t had easy journeys before joining the Resistance but having each other as well as Poe, Rose and everyone else helped them get here together. 

‘He’s my Grandfather.’ Rey choked out. She was turned away from Finn so he didn’t notice she was crying. Automatically, he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her pulling her tight. It wasn’t like Rey to cry like this. She was the strongest person he knew and seeing her vulnerable like this made him want to burst out crying as well, but that wouldn’t help Rey. He let Rey go and she looked up at him making eye contact. ‘Palpatine is my Grandfather. His blood runs through my veins. It explains so much.’ Finn was astonished. The galaxy was a crazy place full of crazy things but that’s not what he expected Rey to say. 

‘What? Are you sure? How do you know?’ Surprise was evident in Finn’s voice.

‘Yeah. He told me himself,’ Rey replied.

‘Oh.’ Finn was without words; he thought her parents were dead. But then Rey probably did until when he went to face him on Exegol. ‘Rey you are nothing like him. You just saved the galaxy from him. All by yourself.’ Finn made eye contact with Rey as he said that but she broke it as he finished indicating there was another part of the story Finn didn’t know about. ‘Rey? You can tell me. You know that you can, right?’ In response, Rey looked back up to him. She opened her mouth to speak and Finn was ready for whatever she was about to tell him and support her. He understood that Rey had been isolated her whole childhood with no one to trust so he got why it was hard for her to open up. 

‘I-I can’t talk about it right now. There’s too much going on. Can we just enjoy tonight and we’ll talk about it tomorrow?’ Finn nodded in agreement and he offered his hand to Rey and they both got up and walked towards the gap in the forest where any spark of remorse was diminished instantly by friends, comrades, and loved ones. This is what the Resistance fought the war for so people can be happy with their loves. Though winning the war did cost lives, a lot more would have been taken by the Final Order. Finn considered what would have happened to the galaxy if they had won but he decided best if he didn’t take that into account. After all, they won. 

‘Finn! Rey!’ Poe called. They both turned around to see Poe with Zorri. ‘Where have you two been? We’ve been looking for you everywhere?’ Poe asked. Finn looked to Rey who was not looking back at him so he figured he’d have to answer for them.

‘We just went for a walk because it’s quite loud here. Just needed a moment of fresh air.’ Finn replied and smiled at Rey to comfort her because she was still down and the look Poe gave him meant he saw Rey’s sadness as well. 

‘Alright. You want to come sit by the fire with us? It’s not too warm.’ Poe reassured. The four of them took their seats around the fire with Poe and Zorri on one bench and Finn and Rey on the adjacent. Poe inched closer to Zorri who subtly moved away. Clearly Poe needed to work on his girl techniques and Finn was happy to help with that. Not that he knew any better though. It seemed though that Poe could blatantly see that Rey was not her usual self.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
‘Rey, how was Tatooine?’ Poe gently inquired. Rey looked up at him removing her eyes from the fire which they had studied for the entirety of the conversation.

‘I buried the lightsabers on the Lars homestead like you suggested then an old woman came with some sort of animal that she rode on and asked who I was. I told her I was Rey and she asked Rey who then Leia and Luke appeared to me as force ghosts and they were telling me to take it. Take their last name to be part of something I’ve always wanted to be part of. A family. So, I told the woman I was Rey Skywalker and I knew it sounded right. It looks like a really rash decision.’

‘Correct,’ Finn interrupts seeming slightly annoyed that she hadn’t told him prior to this conversation.  
‘When the little Aki-Aki on Pasaana asked me for my family name and I had to say I didn’t have one it upset me. Luke and Leia were like parents to me and that’s something I’ve never had. Now though, I don’t think it’s the right decision. Their name has a lot of history behind it and I don’t think I deserve it quite yet.’ Rey replied.

‘Rey. It’s okay we understand.’ Poe assured her. This angered Rey. No one understood what she had been through other than herself and partly Ben. But Ben wasn’t here right now.

‘No. No you don’t. You don’t understand what it’s like to live by yourself on a desert planet for your entire childhood without anyone to talk to. Do you know how many nights I went without food because I couldn’t find anything to salvage in a star destroyer?’ Rey’s blood boiled. She tried to calm herself down and remind herself of the light and what would happen if she gave into the darkness. Her capabilities still surprised her and it would only take one moment to lose it and harm the people she loved. No, she wouldn’t do that. She took a deep breathe which relaxed her. These outbursts needed to be controlled because Rey didn’t even want to imagine the consequences.

‘Rey?’ Finn asked gingerly, ‘are you okay?’ Rey didn’t realise she was standing up or clenching her fists matched with the menacing glare on her face. Blinking, she sat back down and rolled her shoulders back so she was more comfortable. 

‘Sorry. I don’t know what got into me.’ Rey apologized sincerely.

‘It’s okay. We’re here to help if you need someone to talk to.’ Poe replied smiling at her. Rey nodded. She needed to tell them to get it off her chest but not tonight. She could talk to them in the morning.

‘I think I might go to bed if you don’t mind. I’m tired.’ Rey announced adding the last bit on just to make it seem less suspicious that something was up. Rey knew that they were aware of her abnormal behaviour though didn’t say anything. They just wished her good night with a hug from Finn before she left and headed for the hangar. 

As she walked back through the large crowds of people, she was knocked and instinctively reached for her lightsaber but saw it was Rose with Connix and Beaumont. 

‘Oops sorry Rey, I didn’t see you there.’ Rose apologized.

‘It’s okay Rose. Sorry for reacting just reflexes I guess.’ Rey answered.

‘You want to come dance with us?’

‘No thank you. I was just heading to bed actually.’ The response caused Rose to stop swaying to the beat of the music and meet eyes with Rey.

‘You okay?’ Rose queried and Rey nodded in return before leaving them behind. 

Upon reaching the hangar she looked at the gaping hole where the Tantive IV previously was. Only a wisp of wind filled the empty space which was like a knife wound to the Resistance. Leia’s home ship was destroyed by Palpatine’s lightning. The lightning which Rey stopped from destroying the entire Resistance. She knew she was hard on herself but just wished she could have done more to save Ben. Though if it was the other way round, she knew she would save his life like he saved her. She even did after stabbing him with a lightsaber. 

Ben seemed gentle and kind and Rey would have loved to get to know him because they both understood each other in ways no one else did. That was probably due to them being a dyad in the force. Being one in the force. Does this mean they can exist in different places? One is dead while the other is alive? Rey didn’t know but she didn’t want to ponder on the matter.

Soon enough, Rey reached her room where she changed then climbed into bed. She could faintly hear the music in the background still but it was quiet enough for her to be able to sleep. Except she couldn’t. She tossed and turned but she couldn’t fall asleep. Her thoughts wandered off to Poe and Finn and Rose who seemed to be really concerned for her. She didn’t know she was acting differently but she did feel different. Not just having a short temper recently but she felt mature. This was likely to be because she had let go of searching for her parents now, she knew the truth and she’d faced her Grandfather by calling on all the Jedi who came to help her. Rey felt like an adult. She had pushed past all the challenges the force threw at her and has come out the other side still a Jedi. Rey believed the Jedi she was wasn’t like the Jedi Order who kept the peace for millennia. They didn’t allow emotion but it was emotion that helped bring Ben back. Rey guessed she was in the middle. Not a Jedi but definitely not a Sith. 

Eventually Rey dozed off to the hum of the music falling into a calm, tranquil, peaceful sleep.


	2. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe calls for everyone to expose their secrets and Rey is faced with an honesty test. Will she tell Poe, Finn and Rose what really went down on Exegol or will she try and hide the truth?

Working hard. It’s what Rey did best. The need for food on Jakku meant working long days to get a meal that wouldn’t have satisfied even the tiniest of creatures for a few minutes. The lengthy days labouring for Plutt were not really by choice- more for survival. However, working hard to become a Jedi was something Rey wanted to do. Not entirely though. She had her doubts that she wouldn’t be able to do it especially with her darkness amplifying; she had become a Jedi though. Or at least she felt like she had. She didn’t hate Palpatine and hate is discouraged by the Jedi. The Jedi had even come to her rescue which made Rey feel worthy enough to call herself a Jedi.

This Jedi, had completely beaten the training course twice this morning. Everything was all of a sudden, a lot easier. She guessed that was because of the Jedi answering her opening her up to the cosmic force or she was just having a really good day. Either way, it put Rey in a really good mood. After finishing, Rey headed back to the hangar to record her training as usual; there she was greeted by Poe, Finn who looked pretty serious. 

‘We need to talk Rey. You good to come with us now or do you need to drop off any kit?’ Poe asked with a lack of sympathy in his voice.

‘No, that’s fine. I can come now if you want.’ Rey replied and followed them down winding corridors to a room. It was small and in need of some cleaning as there was green grime and gunk all over the windows. Finn sat at one of the chairs at the table that occupied most of the room. Poe did not sit but Rey did as she ached from training. 

Rose entered the room a few minutes later interrupting the silence. She sat down next to Finn and he smiled at her in response. Rey wondered what all this was about. It was clearly serious due to the lack of people in the room and the ominous silence. Poe eventually sat down and started the conversation.

‘Right. We all need to talk. Everyone is keeping secrets and I don’t like it. Guys, we’re all friends here we can share the secrets. I know we all have very different backstories and we may not understand each other as we would like to,’ Poe glanced at Rey who looked back down at the table. ‘But we should get to know each other and share our experiences. I’m not forcing anyone. It’s just a suggestion and whatever is said in here stays in here.’ Poe stated. A moment of silence passed before Finn spoke up.

‘I’ll start. I don’t remember much as I was taken from a family who are likely to be dead now. I grew up being brainwashed by the First Order. I was FN-2187. They didn’t give me a name. It was like we were dehumanized. We trained all day every day. Phasma was especially hard on us. We weren’t allowed proper guns but we still had to train. I had a few friends but it wasn’t as if we could do much other than eat together at meal times as we had to focus during training. We would go to sleep at night and they would play propaganda that told us what was right and wrong in this galaxy. It was the same every day. 

When I got deployed on my first mission, I was very nervous. It wasn’t until my childhood best friend, who I shared many meal times with and trained day in day out with, died. I actually think he was killed by Poe.’ Finn turned to Poe who didn’t make eye contact.

‘I didn’t know man. I’m sorry.’ Poe apologised.

‘That was actually what made me realise this was all wrong. I couldn’t kill anyone. I didn’t fire a single shot and when I got back to the Finalizer, I took my helmet off which is when Phasma came up and told me off. I knew then I couldn’t stay. I went and found Poe and stressed out a lot while escaping and he gave me my name which was the first act of proper kindness I received from another person.’

‘No problem. So, am I anything compared to your stormtrooper best friend?’ Poe questioned.

‘Haha. It was slightly different circumstances but I’d have to say you’ve excelled at being my best friend General.’

‘Aw. You know you’re my favourite too.’ Poe expressed and reached across the table for a fist bump. 

‘Hmm not sure about that one. Zorri seems to have taken the spot.’ Finn joked causing Poe to go slightly red across his cheeks. ‘Anyway, Poe and I escaped the Finalizer on a TIE fighter and got hit so we landed in the desert on Jakku. I was alone and I went and found the TIE fighter but only Poe’s jacket was there. For hours I walked until I stumbled into Rey and we all know what happened from there. I mean I know I haven’t shared much but there wasn’t much that happened. It was just training all day every day until I defected and met you guys. Thanks, guys, for listening.’

‘No problem General.’ Poe responded. 

‘You two are really stretching that General thing aren’t you.’ Rose laughed. ‘Okay. I’ll go next. I grew up on Hays Minor which is a planet in the outer rim. It was just my Mother, Father, Paige and I but we were really close. We didn’t have much but we had each other. 

After the First Order took control of my planet, my parents told Paige and I to leave and go join the Resistance which we did. I then found that the First Order tested their weapons on the planet and that destroyed me. It’s not as if we weren’t already enslaved and forced to work long hours with little food. Then they decided to kill them all. The First Order has caused so many people so much pain. It just needs to end.’ Rose finished and wiped a tear coming down her cheek. Finn put a hand on her arm to reassure her and she leant against him half-hugging him. Rey could see Finn was surprised by the gesture but welcomed it warmly. 

‘Rose. You are helping so many people’s lives become better here. We can’t thank you enough for your work here.’ Poe assured her and she nodded in response. ‘Well I’ll guess I’ll go next then. I grew up on Yavin 4 with my Mother and Father. They were both in the Rebel Alliance and were often working so I didn’t see them much when I was young. After my Mother died, I went downhill. I joined Spice Runners of Kijimi and it’s something I’m not proud of. I was going through a rebellious stage.’ 

‘Moody teenager Poe. That is something I would like to see.’ Finn commented.

‘Oh, I can be way moodier now than I could back then.’ Poe retorted sarcastically.

‘Oh, I bet you can.’ Finn laughed. Poe just rolled his eyes and smiled before continuing,

‘I learnt to do lots of shifty stuff and made lots of wrong choices. I’ll admit I was pretty good at it but I realised I couldn’t do this forever. I joined the New Republic trained to be a pilot and Leia found me so I joined the Resistance and just a reminder that I am the better General here.’ Poe concluded smirking which prompted and eye roll from Finn.

Rey had listened to their stories and felt for them. They had all been through so much and she felt bad about what she had to say. Rose’s hatred for the First Order made a lump form in her throat. How could she tell everyone she had a dyad with the Supreme Leader of the First Order who she touched hands and kissed. She decided to leave out the latter part.

‘Rey?’ Poe said. ‘You want to tell us your story?’ Rey nodded and she didn’t know where to start.

‘I don’t exactly remember where I came from before Jakku. I remember flashes of my parents selling me to Plutt but nothing before that. I lived in an AT-AT which had fallen in the Battle of Jakku and I parked my practically useless speeder outside. The speeder didn’t go fast and was falling apart but I am so grateful I had it otherwise my life would have been even harder. I searched the Star Destroyer for any useful parts which I would exchange for portions. Portions are like food but nowhere near enough to fill you up. I mean you all know how I found Finn and then we met Han and joined the Resistance. That’s how I got here.’ Rey tried to avoid any details about Kylo Ren or Ben but she knew questions were going to follow.

‘Rey what happened on Exegol? How did you defeat Palpatine?’ Finn asked seeming slightly bored of the question dodging. 

‘Umm okay. I went there after going to Ahch-To and…’

‘Hold up! You went to Ahch-To? Why?’ Finn interrupted.

‘I was trying to hide like Luke did and he told me he was wrong and I had to face my fear so he gave me his X-Wing and flew to Exegol whilst transmitting the coordinates to you guys.’

‘So, how did you defeat Palpatine?’ Poe queried. Rey saw no point in beating around the bush.

‘Right. For this story to make sense I’m going to have to start from just after I met Luke. I woke up one morning and had a force connection with Kylo Ren. It was like we could talk to each other from across the galaxy,’ Rey paused to look at the horror on their faces except there wasn’t any. They all look intrigued and slightly confused. ‘We didn’t speak then he tried to Jedi mind trick me which didn’t work. Later on, that day, we connected again. These connections can’t be controlled like they’re completely just the will of the force. I was out in the rain and I realised there was light in him. We connected again that night and he was maybe topless.’ Rey cringed in her seat realising she probably should have left that detail out.

‘Woah. You saw the Supreme Leader naked! Was he ripped?’ Poe questioned.

‘Poe why do you want to know that? Obviously, you still need to answer the question though Rey like we need to know.’ Finn pushed.

‘Yeah. He was really muscly and had very dominant abs.’ Rey stated. She was not about to admit that was the first male she had seen half naked. You tended to wrap up in the desert to avoid sunburn. 

‘Ugh of course he was. Probably not as ripped as me though.’ Poe joked.

‘Oh, I so bet he is. I mean was.’ Finn laughed.

‘Anyway…’ Rey continued wanting to get off the subject of Ben’s abs. ‘I went to the dark side cave afterwards and had a pretty bad experience so I was upset then we connected again. I said I was alone and he reassured me I wasn’t. Then we may or may not have touched hands across the entire galaxy.’ Rey tried to hide away in her seat but the wood was not making it easy for her to disappear into. The shock that Rey had anticipated was a lot less than what their faces were showing. Rose wasn’t looking at her at all. Poe was astonished. Finn looked disappointed. Rey was afraid this was how it was going to go. ‘Can I finish the whole story before you judge me, please?’ Finn wafted his hand gesturing her to go on. ‘So, I thought that Ben Solo was still in there and I went to go and try to save him. I was being naïve and it didn’t go to plan. 

I got to the Supremacy and Ben I mean Kylo Ren was there. We talked in the elevator on the way up to Snoke and I almost convinced him to turn. We got to the throne room with Snoke and he forced him to kill me. Kylo didn’t and killed Snoke instead. We took down the Praetorian guards together and then he asked to me to rule the galaxy with which I refused then we fought and broke the lightsaber. I woke up before Kylo and fled to where Chewie picked me up.’ Rey stopped to let that sink in. It felt so good to be honest and opening up was a lot easier than she’d thought it would be. Rey’s worry had mostly been for nothing. No one had accused her of treason or anything like that- yet. 

‘Wow Rey! You really rejected an offer from the Supreme Leader to rule the galaxy. That’s so inspiring!’ Rose acknowledged her voice genuinely filled with awe. Rey smiled at her. They clearly thought Rey didn’t want to take Kylo’s hand at all. That there was no emotion between them so Rey would have to establish that.

‘It wasn’t like I completely defeated him. There were a lot of emotions. I was crying and he was upset. It was really hard to accept that he was Kylo Ren and that bit of Ben Solo that was fighting was not winning- yet. We had one last forcebond and he was literally kneeling on the floor looking so vulnerable. I know it sounds like I’m defending the Supreme Leader but I’m not. I’m defending Ben Solo.

On Pasaana, we had another one and he told me the Emperor was trying to find me. He said the Emperor wanted me dead but Kylo said he had other plans for me. Then on Ren’s ship we had a lightsaber fight through the bond which we didn’t know was possible. He told me my true origin and why the Emperor wanted me. The Emperor killed my parents because he wanted me because I’m his granddaughter.’ 

‘Wait what?!’ Poe exclaimed.

‘But Rey, you said Palpatine told you that.’ Finn pointed out.

‘I know I did and I’m sorry for lying but I didn’t want to tell you about the whole Kylo thing.’ Rey responded.

‘What Kylo thing?’ Poe questioned.

‘We’re a dyad in the force. I’m not entirely sure what it means yet. We’re basically one person in the force.’ Rey stopped giving herself a moment. ‘Then we had the lightsaber fight on the Death Star ruins and he was about to kill me when Leia force projected herself which killed her.’ Rey brushed her hands over her cheeks to stop the tears running. 

‘That’s so Leia,’ Poe stated breathlessly which everyone muttered in agreement too.

‘Naturally, I ran a lightsaber through him and then I force healed him. I healed the wound I just gave him.’

‘Why Rey? He did so many bad things and killed so many.’ Finn pointed out.

‘I didn’t want to save Kylo Ren. I knew Ben Solo was in there and I wanted to save him. This is why I didn’t tell you. You guys wouldn’t believe he’d turn. I understand that. You haven’t seen the side of him I have.’ Rey looked at all of them. They didn’t seem angry just confused. ‘As I said I went to Ahch-To and Luke showed me what I needed to do. When I got to Exegol, I spoke to Palpatine and he almost convinced me to turn; he was unbelievably powerful. Then I felt his presence in the force.’

‘Who’s presence.’ Rose asked. She was really interested in this.

‘Ben’s. Between Han, Leia, Luke and I we managed to turn Kylo Ren. Ben Solo showed up at Exegol without a plan or a lightsaber. It was amazing. Then we had our final forcebond and seeing him on the light side brought so much hope. I passed him the lightsaber through the force. He defeated the Knights of Ren while I defeated Palpatine’s guards with Leia’s saber and then we met and Palpatine had realised his mistake. Letting us come together. Then he sucked our power out of us. Threw Ben down a cliff and I called on the Jedi which is something I’ve been trying to do for a while. They gave me the strength to defeat him and I did. I then died.’

‘I felt it. How did you get back alive?’ Finn asked.

‘Well…wait how did you feel it?’ Rey pressed.

‘I am force sensitive- I think.’ Finn replied.

‘Since when?’ Poe queried.

‘That’s what I was trying to tell Rey the whole time on Pasaana.’

‘Wow. Ben managed to climb back up and he force healed me. Except this time, he died.’ Tears spilled down Rey’s cheeks and Rose got up to give Rey a hug. ‘We’re a force dyad. I don’t know whether we can exist with one dead and the other alive.’ Rose just hugged Rey. Poe and Finn definitely knew how Rey felt about Ben even if she didn’t know herself. 

‘Well I have to say I really appreciate everyone opening up. I know it’s really hard but I just feel like we had a lot of secrets.’ There was a pause. ‘We have to go to another meeting though. Rey are you alright if we leave?’ Poe questioned.

‘Yeah sure. I’ll stay here for a while I think.’ 

‘I’ll stay with you Rey, if you want?’ Rose asked and Rey nodded.

Both Finn and Poe left the room after hugging Rey and she just sunk into her chair wanting it to swallow her. Rose moved a chair closer to Rey and put her hand on her knee.

‘I bet everyone hates me know.’ Rey expressed.

‘What no! Why would we?’ 

‘I chose not to kill the Supreme Leader of our enemy. We had a connection.’ Tears were unpreventable and Rey just let them fall onto her lap. She’d cried way too much recently.

‘Rey. You can’t help that; you even said that.’ Rose reassured her.

‘I kissed him. Rose. That was my choice. After he healed me, I kissed him. I don’t regret it at all. I just don’t think Finn and Poe would have understood. Ben knew me in ways I can’t explain.’ Rey sobbed.

‘Rey, we’re all here for you. We may not understand the Force like you do but we can’t begin to understand it unless you help us. Tell us what you’re going through if it helps. We’ll all do anything to help you. Without you, we wouldn’t be here.’ Rose replied and Rey didn’t respond. ‘And Rey,’ who looked up after Rose spoke her name. ‘It doesn’t help being on the same side of the war as someone you love.’

‘I don’t think I loved him Rose.’ 

‘Rey there was seriously some feelings there for him.’ Rey tried to protest but Rose held up her hand politely so she could finish. ‘On Crait, before I kissed Finn, I told him that the war was about no fighting what we hate but saving what we love. Ben did exactly that. I know you would have done exactly the same if you were in his position. You’ve done everything you can.’ 

‘We all fought so hard, Leia, Luke, Han and I, to bring Ben back to the light. Now he’s gone. I just wish there’s a way to bring him back. I’m sure Luke’s texts would have something in.’

‘Rey, slow down. Are you sure you want to bring him back?’ 

‘Yes! Of course! I’m sure there’s a force power I can learn.’ Rey rapidly stood up but Rose tried to get her to sit again.

‘Rey. Listen to me. Are you sure Ben would want to be brought back?’ Rose asked. Rey stayed silent so Rose continued. ‘I don’t know Ben but it sounded like he suffered a lot. Is he better off here or being part of the force? Plus, I’m pretty sure force healing means giving the other a part of you. Rey, that means Ben is part of you. Some of him lives in you.’ Rey blinked as she realised this. She sat there for a few moments in silence. 

‘That would explain training. I was so good this morning. I have his power. All his force abilities I now have.’ Rose smiled because the realisation had brought Rey a smidge of happiness- which was more than before.

‘So, he’s with you all the time. He gave his life up for you. Don’t go chasing him he wouldn’t want that.’ Rey leant into Rose who hugged her and they stayed like that for a few moments.

‘What did you mean when you were talking about someone you love? Is it Finn?’ Rose sighed and moved back to sit in a sit.

‘Yeah. I’ve loved him since Crait. I just don’t know whether he loves me back.’ 

‘Rose. I spent less than a few hours with Ben. I never got to have even a proper conversation with him. The man I tried to get through to for a year and even almost got killed multiple times in the process. I couldn’t get to know him enough to love him. Take my advice. Tell Finn you love him; not because you’re going to have the same ending as Ben and I but because you can be happy with him. The sooner you tell him the longer you will have together.’ Rey promised. Rose didn’t say anything but said goodbye to Rey and left her alone in the room.

It felt good to tell everyone. Rey acknowledged how difficult it was but was glad she did it. She felt like a large rock had been lifted off her chest. Although, she didn’t tell Poe or Finn about the kiss she felt like she had told them almost everything. Never, other than Ben, had she done that. She used to loathe the connections but now she treasured them. She could see the real Ben; not the hateful Kylo Ren. The same Ben was part of her. His life force ran through her. Rose told her that Ben wouldn’t want her to bring him back. Maybe she was right. Rey would just have to get to used to this. Time would heal her surely though.

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Poe and Finn stormed down the corridor and headed towards their room. They now shared the room which was adjacent to the one Leia used to sleep in. Her loss had broken him. His first thought was that she had left them at the worst time possible. After hearing what Rey said about Leia saving her, his opinion completely changed.

When they reached their quarters, Poe and Finn both sat at the table that occupied the near corner to the door. The tapping of Finn’s fingers on the table drained the silence. Poe debated whether he should speak first but he didn’t know what he would say. Both of them had lied to Rey on where they were going but they knew Rey needed time and they had to digest everything they’d heard as well. Poe had practically forgotten that everyone knew that he was a spice runner. By everyone he meant Rose, Finn and Rey. 

The fact that Rey was part of a dyad was astounding, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what a dyad was, but to make it more shocking she was part of a dyad with her sworn enemy. The man who tortured Poe, kidnapped Rey and sliced Finn’s back as well as being responsible for so many deaths. Poe couldn’t come to terms with it. He understood why Rey hadn’t told them until he turned. That still could make her a traitor though Poe wouldn’t dream of hurting Rey in any way. She was like a sister to him. 

Kylo Ren turning to the light didn’t seem plausible but Rey had seen him in a different light so maybe he had. Him coming to save her on Exegol seemed even more unlikely however Rey had no reason to lie this time. She could have lied but Poe knew she wouldn’t. She would have felt bad because everyone else had shared but she hadn’t. 

Ben Solo had saved Rey’s life and ultimately the galaxy. If he hadn’t come to save her, Rey didn’t seem to think she could have killed Palpatine. For that, Poe had Ben to thank for. He had just started to set things right because he had a lot of things to pay for. Ben being dead seemed to put Poe at ease. It meant Rey was upset but the galaxy was better off without him. 

He had caused enough pain especially to Leia. Which was the main cause of Poe’s anger. This Ben Solo had caused so much pain to Leia and it cost her life to save him that left the Resistance in charge of Poe. He had mixed feelings about Ben. He had apparently saved everyone’s lives by going to Rey but at the same time he had caused so much suffering. Poe was just thankful that he would never have to meet him.

‘Poe? What do we do?’ Finn croaked clearly as surprised as Poe was. It dragged him out of his thoughts to look at his fellow general.

‘I don’t know. We can’t tell anyone. She’s committed treason.’ Poe answered after clearing his throat.

‘I can’t believe it. She’s part of whatever a dyad is with the man who we’ve been trying to kill for a year.’ 

‘I don’t think the man we’ve been trying to kill is the Ben, Rey knows. She sees him in a light we can’t. But it’s fine because we don’t need to worry about him. He’s dead. He can’t come back.’ Poe said. Finn grunted in response. ‘Anyway, what were you on about being force sensitive. Why didn’t you tell me?’ Poe asked.

‘I didn’t think you would understand man. Rey is obviously really powerful and knows about the force. I just didn’t think you were into all of that.’ Finn concluded.

‘Finn. I’m always here for you. You’re my brother.’ Poe assured. They would all get through this together. Time would heal all their wounds which they’ve all reopened after their conversation today but they had each other that’s all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Again, leave comments and suggestions down below if you wish!
> 
> Really hate seeing Rey upset like this. Let's hope Ben comes back soon :)


	3. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to adapt to life without Ben. But is the growing darkness inside her going to cause a problem?

Rey had spent the last week training. From almost morning to evening, every day, she spent under the dense leaves of the forest. However, storms were frequent on Ajan Kloss so she spent that time getting help from Beaumont and C-3PO to translate the ancient Jedi texts. She sat in strategy meetings but was just there to pass time. Rey had completely avoided Finn and Poe. She had felt their anger and shock when she told them about Ben; she was worried that would cast her away from the Resistance- the only family she had.

One particular meeting was about the bedding situation because most people slept on the Tantive IV and with that destroyed, there were a lot of people without beds- mostly maintenance staff. After the meeting had adjourned, Rey scurried out the room wanting to avoid Finn and Poe. 

‘Rey! Wait a minute!’ Finn called and Rey stopped but didn’t turn around to face him. ‘Please. Come and sit with Poe and I. We just want to talk to you.’ Rey looked up at him and met his eyes. She nodded and they walked back into the room where the meeting had just finished. Poe was having a quiet discussion with Lando when they entered. This discussion stopped as they both looked up at Rey and smiled at her. 

‘We’ll discuss this later. I will come and find you.’ Poe murmured and nodded at Finn before speaking to Rey. ‘Nice to see you.’ As Lando left, Rey took a seat in one of the chairs in the corner. Finn and Poe grabbed two more and sat opposite her. 

‘We just want to talk Rey. You’ve been avoiding us for a week now. Eating your food in your room and constantly training all day. Why won’t you talk to us?’ Finn asked. Rey breathed a deep sigh.

‘I don’t want to leave here. The Resistance is my only family and I don’t want to have to go.’ Rey confessed. She tried to swallow a big lump down her throat.

‘Rey, what are you on about? Why are you leaving?’ Poe questioned. They both looked baffled and it made Rey on edge. Maybe, they would accuse her of treason instead; she knew what the consequence of that was. But by the look on their faces, it looked like they were going to let her stay.

‘You mean you’re not kicking me out?’ Rey’s asked softly.

‘Rey why would we kick you out? You’re our family. We may not understand what you had with Kylo Ren seeing as he tortured you and I and knocked Finn unconscious but we’re not going to abandon you because of him. We’ve all got pasts we’d like to forget maybe you can just forget him too.’ The last sentence made Rey gasp out loud. Poe was right. They didn’t understand what she had with Ben but she would have to learn to forget him or at least accept that he is dead so she nodded.

‘Also, Rey. Stop training so much. I know you want to improve but you’re pushing yourself too hard. Please come to the party so we can celebrate tonight.’ Finn persuaded. Rey nodded not wanting to break into tears which she was worried she would after the mention of Ben.

‘Rey. Please smile more. I know it’s hard but we’re all okay. The galaxy is mostly free so we’ll help free the remainder and set up a new governing body. Then we can all live peacefully. You can live wherever you want Rey. Life is going to get better Rey believe that.’ Poe assured. Again, Rey just nodded as she was on the verge of tears. She had always imagined a future with Ben. Why was the force so adamant on that being taken away from her? She knew she couldn’t have saved him and it was her fault that he was dead because it was her life Ben had saved which caused his demise. ‘Finn, we have to go and talk to Lando about something. Rey are you alright if we leave you here?’ Rey nodded again and they both left.

She felt alone. No one understood what it was like. She knew everyone had lost people they loved in the Resistance that’s why most of them had joined. They were mercilessly slaughtered by the First Order who was ruled cruelly for a year by the man she missed. Rey knew she had to put him behind her. Once she grew old with age she would pass into the force and be with him. Rey didn’t necessarily want to die but it was something she wasn’t afraid of. 

The person who had assured her that she wasn’t alone had left her. Technically he was still part her and he said that as he passed but that wasn’t what she meant. She would give anything for another force connection. Just to see him and hear his voice. That wasn’t possible though. Rey had to let him go and move on with her life.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey entered the dining hall and collected her tray which she filled before sitting at a table by herself. She had decided that she would try and be more sociable and not lock herself away in her room or be far away from everyone in the forest. Neither Poe or Finn were in the room so she assumed they had already eaten or would come in shortly. Rose sat on a table with Connix and Beaumont which was by far the loudest table even though there were only 3 of them there.

Finn and Poe came in shortly after while Rey was still eating and they sat opposite her at the table. Lando joined them as well just after Rey had finished but she decided to sit with them for a bit instead of running away to train. Finn had just finished teasing Poe about Zorri when Lando asked a question.

‘Rey. Do you mind if I borrow the Falcon for a trip to one of the planets near Bespin? It’s just for business.’ Lando then looked at Poe and Finn who didn’t say anything but turned their gaze to Rey.

‘Yeah of course.’ Rey responded. There was clearly something going on which Rey didn’t know about. However, she had only just started turning up for meetings rather than hiding between the thick trunks of trees wielding a lightsaber. She let it go because whatever it was, they would have told her if it was that important. 

‘Thank you. I shouldn’t be more than a few days.’ Lando smiled and Rey returned one. There was a silence in the air for a few moments. 

‘So, who’s ready to party tonight?’ Poe asked. 

‘I know I definitely am. Don’t you think it’s a bit too much though if we have one every week.’ Finn argued. Rey stifled a laugh but failed so it came out more as a snort than anything else.

‘General Finn. We had a whole year of not partying. We have to make up for it.’ Poe protested.

‘Okay, General Poe but I think you use it to spend some alone time with Zorri.’ Finn claimed. A red tinge spread across Poe’s cheeks like wildfire which made them burst into laughter including Rey. Poe covered his face in his hands from embarrassment which made everyone go into stitches.

‘Right I’ll leave you guys to it then.’ Lando said and bode everyone goodbye before leaving the hall. Finn and Rey sat there sniggering at each other while Poe didn’t move.

‘Poe why is she even here? Is she joining the Resistance?’ Finn asked trying to actually be serious but failed. They both grinned as Poe lifted his head out his hands. He sat for a minute before speaking.

‘Kijimi got completely destroyed and Zorri only just made it out. She hasn’t really got anywhere to go so I offered a bed here for her the first night we had a party. As far as I know, she doesn’t plan on getting back into spice running and I’m pretty sure she would help the Resistance if we need her. Give her a chance guys.’ Poe said.

‘Poe we totally support the strict friendship there is between you two.’ Finn sarcastically replied. Rey nodded in agreement and Poe just rolled his eyes. ‘So, have you kissed her?’ Poe gasped so Rey and Finn burst into laughter once again. 

‘No, I haven’t yet. I want to but she’s always like no.’ Poe confesses. 

‘Poe Dameron getting denied. Not something I ever expected to see.’ Rey laughed. Poe actually smiled at that and Finn sniggered.

‘Well Rey seems like I need practice at it then. Would you like to help?’ Poe joked. Finn was howling at this point. Most of the dining hall was giving them looks but they didn’t pay any attention. 

‘Absolutely not Poe Dameron.’ Rey stated. She threw him a dirty look and he laughed. Rey finally felt good. The laughs she was having here made her feel good. Maybe she could live like this forever. Being with her friends would heal the aching hole that constantly reminded her of who she had lost. 

‘No, you just reserve that for Kylo Ren,’ Poe taunted. Rey’s face dropped like she’d just been stabbed. Poe realised he shouldn’t have said that almost immediately after. ‘Rey. I’m sorry it was too far.’ Rey didn’t respond. She thought it was best not to. Instead she walked out the room and into the forest. Rage bubbled in her and she tried to contain it but she couldn’t. 

She ignited her lightsaber and started jabbing and swiping in anything that got in her way. Rey sliced her way through many trees. Some came out lucky with just scars whereas others were completely obliterated. Rey didn’t stop. Rage had completely consumed her. She hated the force for taking Ben away from her. 

‘Rey, stop!’ Rey listened and turned around to see Finn with wide eyes surveying her destruction. She winced when she looked around and saw what happened when she let her anger take control of her again. This couldn’t keep happening. She needed a teacher and someone to show her how to control it. ‘Rey what happened?’ 

‘I lost control again. I got angry and started destroying things.’ Rey confessed and Finn sighed. 

‘Rey, I didn’t want to point it out but that’s what Kylo Ren did. He constantly destroyed things and stormtroopers had to clear up the mess. You don’t think that part of Ben inside you is the dark side?’ Finn queried. Rey abruptly stood up and looked at him in horror. Part of what he said made sense but he was wrong.

‘Kylo Ren didn’t care about anyone. Ben gave me his life. He didn’t have any darkness in him. Stop blaming it on him. This is all me.’ Rey choked. She sat on the dirt that was vaguely covered in leaves. Finn came and crouched next to her.

‘I don’t know what to do. There isn’t anyone else left who can teach me to control it. What if I don’t learn to. Then I could hurt the people I love Finn. I don’t think I could live with myself if I did that.’ Rey didn’t meet his eyes in worry of what he thought of her.

‘Rey. You are the strongest person I know. You killed Palpatine and the Jedi answered you.’ Finn pointed out.

‘Finn. I don’t want to be a Jedi. I want to be somewhere in the middle. The Jedi ignored emotions which ultimately resulted in Darth Vader’s birth. Although, they thrived for many years so they must have done something right.’ 

‘Rey whatever you want, we’re all here for you.’ Finn assured and Rey nodded in acknowledgement. ‘I know it may not be the right time but I want you to train me.’ Rey immediately looked up at him eyes twinkling with confusion. ‘I don’t want to wield a lightsaber or anything just learn to control it if you understand me.’ Rey stared in wonder.

‘You want me to teach you?’ Finn nodded. ‘I literally just teared down a dozen trees what makes you think I’m going to be a good teacher?’ Rey was astounded by Finn’s request. She didn’t know how to train herself let alone anyone else.

‘Rey, I trust you.’ Finn said. ‘In case you want to start a new Jedi Order with a twist you’ll have some experiencing with teaching.’ Rey hadn’t even considered a new Jedi Order. After Luke’s failed attempt she thought it was best that didn’t happen again. Finn seemed to have so much trust and faith in herself whereas she didn’t have any faith.

‘Okay. I’ll meet you by the training course tomorrow morning and I will teach you.’ Finn grinned like a small child on Christmas morning. ‘But promise you won’t turn to the dark side.’

‘Rey, I promise. Now come with me so we don’t miss the party.’ Rey reluctantly got up and followed him to the clearing where the party was held last time. 

The decorations still bedazzled Rey although they hadn’t changed from last time. Lights still hung from branches brightening the place in a brilliant white glow while the sun set in the west. Finn smiled at Rey thinking how cute it was that she was in awe of it but then she would be. She deserved the best and Finn was trying to give her that. He knew she was struggling but he would do anything to help her. Maybe as time passed, she would get better and get over Ben and maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe all her friends wouldn’t be enough to help her and she would turn to the dark side or go into exile. No. Rey couldn’t think like that. 

‘You alright Rey?’ Finn questioned. She nodded and they entered the clearing which was filling up with people rapidly. They found Poe and Zorri and took a seat on a tree log opposite. Rey noticed Poe and Zorri were sitting closer than last; he had his arm around her waist. Although, she still had her helmet on. Rey didn’t understand how Poe could not see her face. With Ben she hated it…

She had to stop thinking about Ben. It would constantly plague her for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t be able to move on otherwise- if she ever found someone else. Rey had to face the truth not hide from it. Ben is dead and he should be mourned. No matter how powerful Rey was there was nothing she could do to bring him back. Not that she wouldn’t try.

‘Rey, you alright there?’ Poe asked. They were all looking at her again as she realised, she must have gotten lost in her thoughts again. She had done that too much recently. They were all concerned for her and she appreciated it but they just would never understand. 

‘Yeah sorry. I’m fine.’ Rey answered. ‘Zorri, how long are you planning on staying here?’ Rey attempted to change the subject subtly but she knew it was a bit too obvious. 

‘I don’t know really. As you know Kijimi was destroyed and that was the only home I had. So, I don’t know. Babu and I are trying to help out here making the ships faster and better.’ 

‘Wait. Babu is here?’ Poe seemed surprised by this. 

‘Yeah. It was only him and I who made it out.’ Zorri explained. The noise of the cheering, singing and dancing wafted its way through the air made the lack of conversation less awkward. A few moments passed before Zorri spoke again. ‘Rey, I heard what you did on Exegol. When you took out all my men, I knew you were special.’

‘Thank you Zorri that means a lot.’ Rey meant it. She never got compliments. Never from Plutt and when she got to the Resistance, she didn’t get many. Being the last Jedi made it difficult to impress people so Rey cherished every compliment she got. 

‘And I’m sorry to hear about your loved one. Ben wasn’t it?’ Zorri said. Rey stood up not expecting to hear his name. Betrayal had smacked her round the face. Poe had told Zorri about Ben when he said no one would say anything outside the room. Rey took some deep breaths to calm herself and she looked at Finn whose face was smothered with worry whereas Poe’s was powdered with guilt.

‘Rey, I didn’t mean to say anything. I needed to talk to someone.’ Poe confessed trying to make up and excuse which they all knew was pathetic. 

‘Poe. You said whatever is said in there, stays in there?’ Rey shouted angrily. People were starting to turn around and look at them. The anger rose in Rey again. She paused to try and control it but it wasn’t working. So, she continued. ‘Who else did you tell then? Does the whole Resistance know?’ The music had stopped and everyone was watching Rey yell at Poe. He didn’t answer and Rey this made Rey even angrier. ‘I trusted you. For the first 19 years of my life I couldn’t trust anyone. I thought I could trust you with that secret but apparently not.’

‘Rey let it go. He made a mistake.’ Finn tried to calm her down but it didn’t work. Poe sat with his hands over his mouth clearly realising how big the mistake he made was. Finn reached for Rey’s arm to turn her away from Poe so it didn’t get any worse. Combat reflexes caused Rey to push Finn and he landed on the ground. 

Rey gasped and Poe ran over to check Finn. Finn didn’t look furious like Rey would have expected; he looked distant. Like the Rey in front of him wasn’t the Rey that was his best friend. That hurt Rey. She didn’t know what else to do so she ran. Right through the big crowd of people and into her room. The anger was still there so she meditated to calm herself and after a while it worked. She felt like herself again.

After showering, Rey slipped into her pyjamas and brushed her hair out. She sat on her bed analysing the Jedi texts for a shot while before there was a knock at the door. The first two knocks she didn’t answer. She didn’t want to see anyone after her outburst. They were almost embarrassing. She kept feeding into the dark side and getting more hate and anger. This time enough to knock Finn over. Thankfully, it was only a push; not a force push that could have sent him miles.

‘Rey, I just wanted to apologise.’ Poe called. Rey didn’t bother getting up to answer the door. ‘Finn’s fine. He hasn’t got a scratch on him.’ Rey didn’t respond again. ‘We want to help with this anger Rey. We don’t want to lose you to the dark side.’ Rey huffed. Like she was going to go down that path. Though lately it did seem like a good option. ‘Well goodnight Rey. We’ll see you tomorrow.’ Rey didn’t get up until she couldn’t hear Poe’s footsteps anymore. 

Rey got into bed and drifted off to sleep eventually but it wasn’t a peaceful one… 

When she awoke, she was standing on Exegol. The same room where she destroyed Palpatine, died, got revived and kissed Ben who then died. She didn’t want to see this place again. 

There were no X-Wings flying above. The only sound was the eery lightning that would jump out occasionally temporarily lighting the place. 

Rey had no weapon and couldn’t move. Sort of frozen similar to what Ben did to her on Takodana the first time she met. As if on cue, Ben ran into the room. He was exactly how she remembered. Ben came into the room out of breath and searching for something. Rey wanted to scream that she was right here and run to hug him but she couldn’t. Tears streamed down her face. He was so close to her but he couldn’t reach her. 

A lightsaber ignited from somewhere to Rey’s right. It was her. Except she had glowing ochre eyes. This couldn’t have been her. The woman opened her mouth to speak and she sounded just like Palpatine. Rey assumed the Force was showing her what would have happened had she turned to the dark side. If she had become all the sith and taken the title of Empress. But why would the force show her this? She tried to move again but she couldn’t. She yelled at Ben to run but he couldn’t hear her. 

Ben was staring at Empress Rey in horror and disbelief. She advanced towards him ready to fight but he wouldn’t. He looked broken to the core. Like his heart had shattered. Ben had turned to the light but not fast enough to save Rey. That’s what he came to do on Exegol she realised. He came to save her not defeat Palpatine. 

‘Rey. I’m not fighting you!’ Ben shouted but there was still a softness in his voice. Empress Rey cackled and twirled her double-bladed lightsaber as she strode towards him. Ben put up a fight but not once did he try to attack Empress Rey. ‘Rey. Stop. Please. I can’t hurt you.’

‘For saying you obsessed over your Grandfather, this is very unlike him.’ The Empress insulted. Ben gasped and continued pleading not just with words but with his eyes and his facial expressions. She continued jabbing and he blocked but he was losing.

‘Rey please. I turned for you. I came back to help you. You’re the only thing I have left.’ Ben was desperate. Desperate for the Rey he wanted, to come back. Rey knew what was going to happen here. She would have to watch Ben die all over again. Ben wouldn’t give up on her. He wouldn’t give into the anger or the hate. Otherwise, he would hurt her. Ben had the same reasons not to give in to the dark as Rey did earlier, except she had. 

So, what was different here? Ben had a strong willpower not to hurt her. He had already hurt so many and he couldn’t do it again. The mistakes he made he had learned from. Rey was yet to make them. She would have to learn from Ben’s mistakes because she couldn’t afford to make them herself. That’s what she would do. She would force herself to think of this dream and Ben so it wouldn’t happen again.

‘Today will be the end of the Skywalkers. The galaxy will be under control of the Sith once more.’ The Empress announced. She knocked Ben onto the floor and he stared at her in utter disbelief. Empress Rey didn’t even flinch at his vulnerability. The stroke down to Ben was fatal and he collapsed on the floor lifeless. Rey screamed a painful cry and she felt the anger in her rise once again. However, she didn’t let it take over her. She thought of Ben and it dissipated slowly. 

Rey woke herself up by her own sudden intake of breath. She sat up and took in what had happened. The anger was completely gone which dazzled Rey. By thinking of Ben and the mistakes he made, she managed to dissolve it like salt in water. 

Maybe Rey would adapt to life without the other half of the dyad. Well she would have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!
> 
> Rey really needs Ben :/


	4. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe seem to be planning something behind Rey's back but what is it?

The next morning, Rey didn’t wake up feeling refreshed. Instead, she felt desolate. If anything, worse than before. That dream had reopened wounds that she thought were beginning to heal. Although, she understood the purpose of the dream and why the Force showed it to her. Rey needed to learn from it and keep on the right side of the force. Was the light side the right side? Or was it the grey area Rey had been contemplating reaching for. Either way, she needed to get up and go to eat breakfast.

Rey found Finn and Poe already in the hall. She grabbed food and sat with them. They were talking in hushed voices and stopped whatever they were talking about when Rey sat down. She looked between them and wondered if there was as issue. What if it was Rey? What if she had become an issue?

‘Um morning guys.’ Rey gingerly greeted. The air was thick with tension because there was clearly something that they weren’t telling her; by the looks of it, it seemed to be important. Maybe they didn’t trust her enough to know. Her trust in them had been shaken slightly as well.

‘Morning Rey. How did you sleep?’ Poe asked with a smile. He seemed to have forgotten about what happened last night- or chose to forget about it. Rey decided she would just forget and moved on. Letting things go didn’t seem so hard. 

‘Not great to be honest. I had a force dream.’ Rey confessed she didn’t want to think about it again let alone tell everyone what happened in it. Both Finn and Poe had looks of genuine concern on their faces.

‘What happened? What was it like?’ Finn questioned. He looked really worried- they both did. Rey was grateful for that. They may be a bit overprotective of her but no one had ever protected her before she met them so she was thankful for it.

‘It wasn’t a vision as such. It just showed me what I would have done if I had taken a different path.’

‘The dark side.’ Finn stated.

‘Look, I don’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t the first and won’t be the last. I just have to deal with them.’ Rey concluded. They both stared at her with pity. She didn’t want pity. She didn’t want to be thought of as weak either because she can’t control them. Maybe she could, she just wasn’t strong enough. Not being strong enough made Rey angry and upset. She couldn’t be the Jedi everyone needed her to be. The Jedi who was full of light and not a speck of darkness inside. 

‘Rey, are you okay? You’ve zoned out?’ Rey blinked at nodded at Poe. She was swarming with emotions still. It wouldn’t surprise her if she was glowing with an aura of emotions. She had too many to deal with right now. Rey needed to meditate before she lashed out. 

‘I’m going to go to my room for a bit. I just need some alone time.’ Rey left the table and practically ran to her room. She slammed the door and slid down it. By then, the tears were rolling off her face and landing on her clothes. 

The emotions she felt were overwhelming. She didn’t know how to deal with them. Rey moved to sit in the middle of the floor. Her legs were crossed and her breathing became deeper as she delved deeper into a meditative state. Eventually, she was hovering in the air. 

She reached out and felt the emptiness of the corridors, the concentration from the back-room workers, the delight of friends talking in the dining hall. Out of the base, she could tell the forest teeming with life. Small insects scuttled around eating even smaller berries and chunks of fallen leaves. Up above, there were majestic birds cawed to each other while other flew between the tightly packed trees. 

It was peaceful. A nice aura. It soothed Rey. Then she felt another presence heading towards her. It was Finn. She opened her eyes and drifted back to the floor and unlocked the door. She smiled at Finn who returned it.

‘Hey.’ Rey said.

‘Hey. So, you know how you said you would train me?’ Finn reminded her. 

‘Yeah…’ Rey was curious to where this was going.

‘Can we train today? Like now if you’re free?’ Finn suggested. 

‘Yeah sure. Let me grab my lightsaber.’

‘Woah, I don’t want to be swinging that around.’ Finn said nervously. Rey just giggled. 

‘No, I will be and you’ll have to defend yourself.’ Rey joked and Finn laughed. They both left Rey’s room and they walked through the forest to the clearing where Rey trained. She turned and Finn was there looking quite nervous.

‘Rey. I don’t want to be a Jedi. I don’t want to fight. I just want to learn to control it.’ Finn told Rey. She was curious to his reasoning why.

‘Why Finn? I’m just curious.’

‘I don’t think I could ever be a Jedi. The darkness you seem to be fighting doesn’t sound like something I have the willpower to control. You do it so well.’ Finn revealed. Rey sighed. 

‘There’s a quote in one of the texts that Luke wrote. It says fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Don’t fear the dark side. Just know it’s there and you don’t need to delve into it. Also, it’s in my blood that evilness. That won’t be the same for you.’ Rey assured Finn nodded and Rey sat down on the floor which was scattered with dead foliage. Finn copied her and struggled to cross his legs and Rey had to stifle a laugh. 

‘What are we doing on the floor Rey?’ Finn asked confused.

‘You won’t be on the floor in a minute.’ Rey told him. She didn’t elaborate. ‘Now reach out into the Force. Reach out with your feelings. Feel it flowing through you. Take deep breaths.’ She watched Finn follow her instructions then followed them herself. Within seconds, she was off the ground and felt the leaves on the floor follow her and orbit around her like a moon does a planet.

Finn seemed to be struggling slightly more. She opened her eyes. His forehead was creased with concentration. ‘Relax Finn. Let it flow through you.’ She told him. They both sat there for a few moments before he said he could feel something. ‘That’s great. Reach further out. See if you can find Poe or Rose.’ 

Eventually, Finn began to lift of the floor a tiny bit. Though it made him lose concentration so he fell again. Rey slowly went back to the ground again doing a little somersault in the process. They sat on the floor in silence for a few moments. Rey didn’t know what to say.

‘I’m going to run the training course now. Do you want to come with me or stay here?’ Rey asked. Finn gazed at her contemplating.

‘No thank you. I’ll sit here and practice the meditation.’ Finn finally replied so Rey got up and headed towards the training course. She ignited her lightsaber, grabbed the helmet and ran. Reflexes enabled Rey to duck and miss hitting trees that any normal person would have if they were at the speed Rey was. 

The jump over the ravine was easy enough now. Rey could probably do it in her sleep. When Leia had first introduced the jump into the course, Rey had almost missed a few times but Leia promised she’d be there to levitate her back up if she did fell. Regardless, Rey kept trying and eventually could do it easily. She was proud of that; her improvement was evident. Her improvement or Ben’s skills- either one. 

Rey reached the first training droids in a matter of minutes. She breezed through destroying them and proceeded to the next ones. She defeated them easily leaving them sparking and sputtering on the floor before jumping and slicing the red ribbon which she carried. The last few ribbons were slightly harder to get to. Never the less, it wasn’t very challenging for Rey. 

Once she finished the whole thing, she lay on the floor panting heavily. A ray of sunlight peeked through a gap in the canopy and shone directly on her face. She groaned and rolled over onto her front out of the way of the light. 

Eventually, Rey reset the training course then ran back to the clearing where she left Finn. He was hovering a few feet above the ground and he looked like he was at peace. Rey knew what he was feeling. The serene aura of the Resistance would make anyone feel relaxed when diving into the depths of the force. 

Rey sat there watching him. It was nice to have another force sensitive being especially one as close to her as Finn was. She just didn’t want to fail as a teacher. The Jedi ultimately did. They allowed her Grandfather to rise to power behind their backs and were oblivious to his manipulative skills. Those skills she had witnessed herself. It was like he was using a Jedi mind trick on her which of course he wasn’t. He just seemed to be good with words. It had taken him a few minutes to almost persuade her to turn. 

Thankfully, Ben showed up at the right time. His presence was the reason she didn’t. He gave her hope which she had forgotten existed. Palpatine’s presence was so overwhelming that it sucked it all out of her. 

‘Rey. Are you okay?’ Finn asked sounding concerned. He was now sitting cross-legged on the floor. Rey hadn’t even noticed; she was too busy thinking to notice. 

‘Yeah sorry I was just thinking.’ Rey replied. ‘So, what did you feel.’ She tried to change the subject and think back to what Luke taught her when she was on Ahch-To. 

‘I felt all the life in the forest. It was a bit overwhelming at first and then I felt each individual life source and explored a bit further. I couldn’t get any further than a few metres and it took me a while to feel your presence. It was peaceful. There was light but darkness as well.’ 

‘Balance.’ Rey said and Finn nodded. ‘That’s how it needs to stay. If there’s too much dark or too much light the Force will be out of balance.’ 

‘What happened with the Jedi then? 

‘There was too much light in the galaxy. That’s not necessarily a bad thing for people but the Jedi weren’t perfect. They didn’t allow emotion or attachment which was the thing that caused their downfall.

Leia and Luke’s Father was a slave boy on Tatooine who was freed by a Jedi and brought to be trained on Coruscant. He was the most powerful Jedi anyone had ever seen. Obviously, they were worried about his power. Because of the amount of light he had, he was more susceptible to the dark. His name was Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin fell in love with a senator from Naboo and even though attachment was forbidden, he married her in secret. The Jedi didn’t find out about it so they kept it secret for years until Padmé, his wife, got pregnant with his baby. Anakin stayed around as much as he could although there was a war raging on so the Jedi had to help out. 

The Jedi knew the Sith had returned and were looking for another one because they had killed one and the Sith always follow the rule of two. A master and an apprentice. They had killed the apprentice but where not aware of this and the master had multiple apprentices afterwards which were mostly slaughtered by the Jedi. The master was working up a big plan by manipulating Anakin.

This Sith was actually the Chancellor of the Senate and is my Grandfather. Palpatine manipulated Anakin by telling him he could save Padmé from dying after Anakin had a vision in which she did. Ultimately, Anakin chose to kill a Jedi after having to pick between Palpatine or him. This resulted in his fall to the dark side and he became Darth Vader.

Because Palpatine was behind this whole thing and the clones belonged to the Republic, he gave an order to the clones to kill all the Jedi and that’s what happened. Few survived. Anakin followed Palpatine’s orders to go to Mustafar and decimate the Separatists. He left his heavily pregnant wife at home and left to go. 

Padmé was so worried she got a ship and left to go to Mustafar after hearing that he turned to the dark side by his best friend Obi-Wan Kenobi. He boarded the ship without Padmé knowing then they left for Mustafar.

Padmé was relieved to see Anakin but when he found out Obi-Wan was on the ship as well he strangled her until she was unconscious. Obi-Wan and Anakin had a lightsaber fight where Obi-Wan defeated Anakin and then returned to Padmé.

Padmé gave birth shortly after to Leia and Luke but tragically died from unknown reasons. Meanwhile, Anakin completed his transformation to Darth Vader. Luke and Leia were separated as they were both strong with the Force so it would be harder to find them. The Jedi became extinct and the Empire ruled in the galaxy covering it in turmoil and destruction.’

‘Wow.’ Finn finally spoke after listening to Rey carefully. Rey just nodded and continued crying. It just seemed that no one could be happy in the galaxy. Not even the most powerful Jedi to ever exist. 

‘The Jedi failed because they were arrogant in their beliefs. They thought they would know if there was a Sith Lord rising but apparently not. Anakin turned because of the confusing emotions the Jedi wouldn’t help him with. That’s why I can’t be a Jedi.’ Rey concluded. Rey had a thought. Something she’d forgotten to do or rather she’d avoided doing. ‘Finn, can you wait here for me. Practice some meditation. I have to go and do something.’

Rey left Finn and ran to where she left Luke’s X-Wing. She hadn’t planned on leaving Ben’s jumper in there for that long but she didn’t particularly feel strong enough to go and get it. Also, Rey tried to avoid thinking about it because she would have to think of Ben. 

When she got to the X-Wing, there were people all over it like bees around honey clearly updating whatever part were either old or in need of repairing. Rey huffed and decided just to walk straight up to it and ask to grab something. 

She was halfway up the stairs which for some reason had been left there. She ignored the people working down below her and focused on getting the jumper. Although, Rey had no idea how she was going to get it back to her room without anyone seeing- it was too late to turn back and get a bag.

‘Um, Miss Rey? What are you doing?’ One of the engineers stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up at her. Rey didn’t exactly know what to say. She couldn’t be honest. The look on his face went from confusion to anger at the hesitation. Rey realised that he thought she was leaving- abandoning them. She wouldn’t because it’s the only family she had left but he wouldn’t know that.

‘It’s not what it looks like.’ Rey reassured. ‘I left something I brought back from Exegol. I just want to get it.’ The man nodded and she grabbed the jumper from where she left it, just by her feet, before she climbed back down the ladder and walked back to her room without giving the engineer another look. 

Somehow, she managed to avoid everyone and got to her room. Rey sat on the bed and shoved the jumper up to her face inhaling the sweet smell of Ben. It was like he was really there by her side telling her everything was going to be okay. 

After a few minutes, Rey knew she would have to get up and go back to where Finn was before he started getting worried. She returned to the spot where they were and found him and Poe talking in hushed voices. Finn was speaking with his back turned to Rey and Poe hit him when he noticed her. Finn immediately stopped talking and turned around. 

‘Hey Rey?’ Finn greeted innocently. Rey frowned as they were literally pretending nothing happened. 

‘What were you talking about?’ Rey asked. Poe gave him a look then patted him on the shoulder. He then avoided eye contact with Rey as he strutted off somewhere else. Rey moved to stand closer to Finn and stared him down trying to pry whatever secret it was that she couldn’t know. ‘Poe said no more secrets. Clearly there is something that is so important that I can’t know which is highly unlikely or you two are keeping secrets.’ Rey accused.

‘Oh, Lando is in on it as well.’ Finn confessed he didn’t seem at all surprised that Rey wanted to know; he just seemed to be delaying. 

‘Lando? Why does Lando know and I don’t. Unless it’s literally life or death.’ Rey shouted. She was annoyed. Finn hadn’t said he wouldn’t tell her so she just wanted a straight answer.

‘Rey, I want to tell you. I just don’t know whether…’ Finn was interrupted by a gasp from Rey. All of a sudden, she was dizzy and light-headed. Rey felt something- a presence. One she hadn’t felt for too long.

Immediately, she left the clearing and ran towards it eventually ending up in another clearing. Except there was a ship just landing. Rey knew who was in there. Everyone else around her seemed to know too. There was a large crowd surrounding the ship. Poe was yelling orders but Rey couldn’t hear him over her heart beat pounding in her chest. 

Finally, the roof opened and a tall man climbed out. Before he had even got halfway down the ladder, Rey was already on him and in his arms. She grabbed him and pulled him closer to her.

‘Ben, you’re here.’

‘No one’s ever really gone,’ was his reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading again! Hope you are all doing well!
> 
> Ben's back! Finally Ben and Rey can be together!


	5. Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 weeks before he appears at the Resistance, Ben meet a family member in an in-between place. But which family member will it be?

2 weeks earlier

Ben woke up in an unfamiliar place. He had just been on Exegol moments ago. It was weird. He had felt himself fading and leaving his body which was a really strange experience. Somehow, he had ended up in a vast desert. Realising this, Ben panicked and got up quickly. His head no longer hurt and his thoughts immediately went to Rey. Where was she? Was she alright? The last thing he remembers seeing is her crying over him as he faded away. 

Propping himself up, Ben sat on the coarse ground and surveyed his surroundings. The sun glared causing Ben to squint. He couldn’t see anything for miles other than hills made from sand until he saw a figure in Jedi robes. This clearly wasn’t real life because Rey was the only remaining Jedi left. Rey. Where was she? Why hadn’t she come yet? 

Ben got up and walked towards the figure who turned around as soon as Ben got to his feet. Ben had no weapons but he had the force which was the only thing meaning he wasn’t defenceless. The man posed no threat and even seemed to smile when he saw Ben. Snoke had smiled many times before he hurt him but his smile was a sick, twisted, sadistic one. The smile this man was giving him however, was one of relief and genuine happiness. It made him think of Rey’s smile. How it lit up the galaxy and the way it gave him the fluttering feeling in his stomach. He needed to get back to her and maybe this man would help.

‘Who are you?’ Ben asked. The man raised an eyebrow and turned back around. Ben cautiously followed. He stopped on the edge of pit. In the pit there were doors and it seemed to house living quarters below. To the left of them, there was a pristine dome that had an entrance which presumably led down to this pit. ‘Are you going to tell me who you are then?’ Ben was getting slightly impatient. Rey could be in trouble but knowing her, she was probably beating everyone’s ass because she was phenomenal like that. ‘Hello? Do you speak?’ Ben searched the surroundings as it looked like he was going to have to find a way to get back to Rey. 

‘You don’t recognise me?’ the man said. Ben did not but the man was making it sound like he should. In reply, Ben shook his head and the man sighed. ‘For saying you idolized me for the entirety of your life, I am surprised you don’t.’ 

‘Vader?’ Ben gasped in realisation. 

‘Vader? Um no. I don’t go by that anymore; just like you don’t go by Kylo Ren anymore.’ Anakin stated. Ben smirked and paused for a second. He had so many questions to ask him but right now he needs to focus on getting to Rey.

‘Where’s Rey?’ Ben straightforwardly asked. He didn’t want to waste any time getting to her because he needed her. He had come to save her from Palpatine who plagued him his entire life but the minute he started hurting Rey he had to end him. Of course, Rey did that all by herself because he was thrown off a cliff. Ben would have loved to take down Palpatine personally but at least he was dead. But wasn’t Ben dead too?

‘You don’t know where you are, you don’t know why you’re here, you haven’t realised your wearing different clothes but you ask about a girl. That’s my grandson right there. I’m proud of that!’ Anakin patted Ben on that back and it caused Ben to smile but he was getting agitated. He tried reaching for Rey in the Force but couldn’t find her.

‘Where is she? I want to find her.’ Ben knew he couldn’t get angry because he would lash out and that wouldn’t help the situation here. Also, Ben was way beyond violence and being furious all the time now.

‘So, I will answer my own questions then. You are somewhere in between. I’m not exactly sure why you picked here to come to as it’s not my personal favourite. Sand is coarse, rough and irritating and it get everywhere. I haven’t been here since my Mother died actually. I broke into a rage and killed dozens of sand people. This was before turned to the dark side. Oh, your clothes are just Jedi robes but in black because I know you like that.’ Anakin reminisced sadly on who he was. Ben didn’t like all the stalling but he really wanted to know his grandfather who he admired for so many years. 

‘Why did you fall to the dark side?’ 

‘Funnily enough, it was the same reason you did. I was manipulated by Palpatine. I needed to save my wife, your grandmother, from death and he promised to help me so when a Jedi tried to kill him, I killed the Jedi. I turned to the dark side and inevitably killed my wife in the process.

I went to Mustafar because Palpatine told me to. I mean you’ve experienced his manipulative powers yourself and how there seems to be no escape from the torture. So, I killed all the people he asked. Then Padmé turned up unexpectedly. Obi Wan was also in the ship and Padmé said she didn’t bring him here. I was so consumed with rage and hatred, I strangled her. She was very pregnant but I didn’t care. I turned to the dark side to save her but ultimately I killed her.’ Anakin was distraught. Ben knew most of the story but never thought there was an actual person inside of the machine that was Darth Vader. Nevertheless, Ben didn’t speak up and saying anything because he wanted to hear the rest of the story. ‘I thought I had killed her and the baby. I didn’t even know it was twins. Luke ultimately turned me like your family helped you turn. And Rey of course played a significant role in your redemption.’

‘Just tell me where she is please. I need to know she’s alright.’ Ben pleaded. 

‘Ben, I understand your pain. I really do but please let me finish so I can explain everything. You know better than anyone that even when your world is twisted by Palpatine the decisions you make are still your fault. Yes, you have to pay a price. I have many regrets. One of my biggest was turning the people I loved away and I can imagine you were the same.’ Ben nodded but all his thoughts were on Rey. 

The sun was beginning to set in the sky. It slowly began to droop dragging the light with it and it left a golden hue on the two men. Ben stared at his Grandfather; he couldn’t believe it was really him. After all these years, he appeared to him now. Not in his darkest moments when he really needed someone to talk to before the force connections with Rey. 

‘Ben. Listen to me. I never got the chance to repay for what I did and I wish I could put the galaxy right. I would have appeared to you but you were so consumed with darkness you wouldn’t have turned. It really upset me to have to leave you alone.’ Anakin sighed. His apology was genuine and he actually cared for Ben and wasn’t afraid to share that. Ben smiled at him. He was really thankful for a chance to talk to him. 

‘I like to think we’re opposites or at least our stories are. I turned to the dark side because I loved a girl too strong but you turned away from the dark because you love a girl. Now I know, you haven’t known each other long. However, the connection you two have is inseparable. I know you want to know how she’s doing but let me tell you a bit about Padmé seeing as you never got to meet her. 

She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. Her smile melted my heart and her laugh could cure every bit of sadness you ever had. Like Rey, she was strong and independent. She was Queen of Naboo by the age of 14 and saved her planet from the Trade Federation. She was phenomenal. 

I was a slave boy on Tatooine and was freed by a Jedi because I won the pod racing. They were fleeing Naboo and needed some parts so came to a shop where I was working. The first time I saw Padmé I was astounded. I asked her whether she was an angel. At the time I was 9 years old and didn’t have many social skills. When I was freed, I left with the Jedi and the rest of the crew to Coruscant. There I began my training even though the Council were reluctant to train me because I was too old apparently. Although, I did have a lot of natural power which I think scared them.

I developed my Jedi skills a lot and formed a brotherly bond with my master Obi-Wan Kenobi who I believe you’re named after. Because I was a Jedi, I was assigned to protect Padmé after people kept trying to assassinate her. We travelled to Naboo together and spent some time together. Us Skywalkers aren’t very good with words as you’ve experienced. So, when we tell girls we love them it doesn’t usually turn out the way we want it to go. I mean you called Rey nothing but then redeemed yourself by saying not to me so you can relate.’ Ben chuckled. ‘Anyway, Padmé said we couldn’t be together because we wouldn’t be able to do it in public as attachments are forbidden for the Jedi.

I had visions of my Mother dying and we left to Tatooine and I explored and found her. She died in my arms so I killed every single Tusken Raider. Not just the men but the women and the children too. That was my first outburst of anger that turned into death. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last. 

Obi-Wan was captured on Geonosis so we went to rescue him and got ourselves captured. They decided to make a public show of our deaths and before we went out Padmé told me she loved me. That she had loved me since I came back but now that we were going to die, she told me because it wouldn’t matter. Obviously, we didn’t die. 

I got my hand chopped off and did the same to my son later. It’s a Skywalker thing. Anyway, we had to keep our relationship secret and got married on Naboo. She got pregnant and then I fell to the dark side. The last memory I have of her is her lying on the ground unconscious and I should have run over to her but I didn’t. I felt betrayed. I was so deep into the dark side that I didn’t think I could go back. She died shortly after giving birth. Luke and Leia were separated to keep them away from me because they’d have strong force signatures. 

I struggle to remember what Padmé looked like. I know that she was beautiful but I can’t remember every detail about her. Like the way her hair curled or the way she walked I don’t remember much about her. I think the worst thing is the fact that I can’t speak to her. She has passed on because she’s not force sensitive like you. I can’t pass on because I am a force ghost. I have to live with that for eternity. I can’t fix my mistakes. I can’t make the apologies. I would give anything to see her again but I can’t. I have to suffer the consequences of my actions. 

However, you don’t.’ Anakin turned to Ben. He was upset beyond belief. Then Anakin says he has another chance but he doesn’t know what he’s on about.

‘What?’ Ben asked.

‘You can go back. You can start clearing up the mess you made. I mean you weren’t as good as me but you were a good second.’ Anakin laughed. 

‘I can see Rey.’ Ben breathed. ‘But how? How can I go back?’ Anakin put an arm on his shoulder looked at Ben then looked towards the sunset.

‘My daughter, your Mother, died because she used all her energy to project herself to you. She did not become one with the force. However, she gave you her life force so you can go back. I know this means a lot and you could have spoken to her but she and Luke thought it was best if I did. I’m sorry you can’t speak to your Mother again but at least you got to speak to me. The best family member.’ Anakin laughed. Ben stood for a minute trying to take in what had been said to him. ‘I know you want to see Rey but can you stay for a bit longer? I would love to get to know my grandson.’

‘Okay, but how is Rey?’ Ben asked. He needed to know about her. If he needed to go back to her or whether he wouldn’t need him. Anakin sighed.

‘She is not doing great. She is really struggling without the other half of the dyad. Rey keeps having theses dark side outbursts from a build-up of anger.’ Anakin stated. Rey wanted Ben. 

‘What about her friends? The traitors. Are they helping her?’ Ben was panicking slightly. 

‘They’re trying but no one understands her like you.’ Ben was relieved to hear this but also worried that she wasn’t okay without him. ‘Ben, you know she can take you down any time. I’m not sure you should be that worried.’ Ben laughed. Anakin was right.

‘She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met. She doesn’t need me but she wants me.’ Ben said. ‘When she’s angry she’s even prettier. When she’s sad, I would tear the galaxy apart to make her happy again. If she was worried, I would promise her no one could hurt her.’ 

‘This is why we are so alike my Grandson.’ Anakin stated. ‘Padmé was exactly the same. She didn’t need me. She could survive by herself but she wanted me. She loved me and I loved her our love literally tore the galaxy apart. Your love for Rey and hers for you fixed it. It’s almost poetic.’ Ben knew this was true. ‘However, there is one issue.’

‘What? I will do anything to be with her.’ Anakin smiled at his Grandson he was proud of him. Yes, he had done bad things but Anakin couldn’t judge him for that.

‘Rey knew Kylo Ren. She wanted to save the part of Kylo Ren that was Ben. You love her to the end of the galaxy but she doesn’t know Ben. She has to get to know Ben first but with the Skywalker charm that you got from me she’ll be falling head over heels for you in moments.’ They both burst out laughing. ‘So, Ben, tell me what happened on Exegol.’

‘You mean you don’t know?’ Ben was surprised but he didn’t know if he was ready to relive it.

‘Yes of course I do. I helped guide Rey.’ Anakin boasted.

‘Helped Rey?’ Ben asked.

‘Oh yeah, you were down the cliff at the time. You tell me the story and I’ll fill in any missing bits.’ Anakin compromised. 

‘I took a TIE to my First Order ship and went back to the First Order ship and attached a little device that meant I could jump to lightspeed.’ 

‘Very clever. That’s a Skywalker thing obviously.’ Anakin joked.

‘I remembered most of the way and followed the mass of ships the rest of the way to Rey. When I got there, I just ran towards her. I didn’t have a plan- only a blaster which I had picked up on the First Order ship. Before I could reach Rey, I had to go through the Knights of Ren who were apparently part of Palpatine’s big plan.’

‘He is annoying with those big plans though. There are so many backups to it. But this time there weren’t enough thankfully.’ Ben smirked.

‘I couldn’t defeat them and was getting beaten. In my defence there were like 6 of them compared to one of me.’

‘You held up well. I am proud of that.’

‘Thanks. Rey appeared out of nowhere and was on the verge of crying after seeing me. I nodded at her and she gave me your lightsaber and of course I beat every single one and met Rey in the middle. Palpatine sucked the power out of both of us. When I awoke, I turned to Rey then Palpatine threw me down a cliff.’

‘I’m sorry about that one. It’s because I threw him down a pit. Anyway, Rey called on all the Jedi and connected to the cosmic force. There were many Jedi that spoke to her including me. I think I told her to bring the balance back like I did which is really inspiring. She is one brilliant woman. You’re very lucky.’ Anakin stated, ‘anyway, she killed Palpatine by deflecting the lightning and it killed her.’

‘But I couldn’t feel her presence from where I was so I frantically climbed up. I was wounded from the fall so I practically crawled to her. Rey lay there motionless on the floor and I did the only thing I could. I gave my life to her. Then she kissed me. By then I knew I was going to die but I couldn’t help but smile. It was the happiest moment of my life. The last thing I saw was Rey crying over me while I faded. I just want to get back to her.’ Ben felt like he needed her more than oxygen.

‘How peaceful is it? In your head.’ 

‘Very. I can hear my own thoughts. I feel like I can make rational decisions and I like it.’ Ben stated. It was so calming without the constant voices and whispering.

‘When I died and became a force ghost, I no longer heard the voices. By voices you know that I mean Palpatine. It was so serene and maybe I would make different choices if it wasn’t there but we’ll never know about me. You however Ben, get a second chance. Don’t waste it. Try and fix the mess that I started and tell your girlfriend,’

‘She’s not my girlfriend.’ 

‘Well tell Rey I said hi anyway.’ The sun had almost set now and the first one was dipping into the horizon. It meant Ben would have to leave and go back. Obviously, he wanted to- he needed to. Although, his Grandfather seemed such an amazing person and the similarities between the two of them was evident but he had to go back to Rey. 

‘Thank you. For coming here and talking to me.’

‘Ben I’m so sorry I started this mess. You wouldn’t have suffered if I hadn’t turned. I am so proud of what you’ve become. I am sorry for not appearing to you before I really am. Learn from your mistakes. Tell Rey you love her.’ They both turned and started to walk away from the sunset. ‘And Ben, the force will be with you, always.’ Anakin smiled and Ben felt himself fading again. 

He woke up on the cold floor of Exegol except the skies weren’t raging with battle. It was eerily quiet. He knew what he had to do now. Ben needed to get off Exegol and go and find Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) I have only just written this because I wanted to post it this evening. Thank you again for all the support and leave suggestions and comments down below if you would like to <3


	6. Perseverance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben leaves Exegol and has to figure out how to get to the Resistance.

Instead of finding his clothes on the floor as expected, Ben only found his trousers and boots. His jumper was gone. Ben frowned but decided to drop the matter; it wasn’t important and Ben had other priorities right now- Rey. 

The Sith throne in front of him where his torturer stood not long ago, was destroyed. Large rocks were scattered in the vicinity of it. There was no sign of Palpatine. Maybe he was truly dead and Ben was actually free. Although, Ben could feel the power of the dark side resonating from the remains so he wanted to spend as little time as possible here. 

Ben ran out of the room leaving his clothes in the other room. He was halted by a fallen statue in the corridor. They had all been destroyed by presumably Rey but now posed a problem for Ben. He would have to climb over them somehow. Still, Ben smiled at how incredible Rey was obliterating the temple and Palpatine in one go. She would be a lot better at climbing over them than him but Ben would never actually tell her that. 

The sooner he took on the horrific monuments, the sooner he could get to Rey. She was his motivation and had been ever since he met her. He had completely abandoned his mission to get to Luke because of the sheer curiosity about the beautiful girl. These thoughts he had to hide from his old master otherwise he would be severely punished.

That was a long time ago now. That was Kylo Ren and this was now Ben. Kylo Ren died and Ben was born again. Unlike most, he got a second chance to fix the mess he made. He would begin to do that and spend the rest of his life repaying those debts. Hopefully, Rey would be there by his side but he understood if she wanted to have a peaceful life somewhere else because that’s what she deserved. 

Thinking about Rey again caused Ben to slip and almost plummet to the ground. He was almost at the top of the first one. He could probably jump down from the top but he didn’t want to take any chances. This second chance was not going to be wasted because he jumped from a high place. 

Upon reaching the top, Ben surveyed the distance he would have to travel to get back to the big metal chain from which he could climb up to the surface. He sighed as he noticed there were at least 5 more to go and the gap in between them was definitely too far to jump. He begun to descend the statue again focusing on grabbing footholds. 

The sculptures were mostly intact. Chunks had fallen and rolled across the floor but still blocked the way meaning it was quicker to climb over than go around. Now he could get a closer look, the faces attached to the bodies were extremely terrifying to look at. Either the person who created them had done an excellent job of creating a sense of fear or they were a rubbish sculptor. 

Ben realised he could probably jump down from halfway so he did and landed softly on his feet with aid from the force. He knew if he could jump down, he could jump partway up. So, this is what he did. It then became much quicker to get up and down the second one. 

After landing again, Ben sat and lent against the monument. It was exhausting and Ben had no drink or food. He didn’t want to stay on Exegol any longer than possible but he needed to conserve energy because he would have to find a way to the Resistance and he didn’t know where their base was. In addition, the attachable hyperdrive wasn’t very good or stable and wasn’t likely to get him out the unknown regions. That’s if the Resistance wasn’t hiding there. 

Ben probably could search the galaxy for Rey or try and connect a force bond but Ben thought it would be better to surprise her. The Resistance might not even let him in they might cast him out. Though Ben knew he was the only one who can help with Rey’s darkness since he had been through it himself. 

That’s why he couldn’t contact Rey. If the Resistance didn’t let him in then he wouldn’t force Rey to come with him. She needed her friends and Ben wouldn’t take her away from them so she would just have to stay and get over the fact he was dead. Unless, the Resistance let him come to them. Hopefully, Ben wouldn’t have to think of a backup plan.

Losing his concentration again, Ben lost his foothold and slipped almost falling to the floor. He was halfway up the last one. Once he reached the cold, metal chain which was attached to the ceiling, Ben breathed a sigh of relief. He was almost back up to the top. 

Although his muscles were on fire, he pushed through it and concentrated on his goal- his TIE. Though, he didn’t have a plan after that. He should probably check the hyperdrive and see how far that can go without blowing him up. Then somehow contact the Resistance maybe find some sympathizers that can help him. No one should really recognise him. The First Order probably thought he was dead- well the remainder of it. 

When Ben reached the top, he breathed a sigh of relief and spotted his TIE. He had to climb over some rubble but it wasn’t too much of an issue. Rey’s X-Wing was not there of course and it was eerily silent. There was no whispering wind or shooting ships. 

Ben circled round the TIE checking for damage and delightedly found there wasn’t any. He jumped in and turned the engine on. It whirred and computers came to life. Evidently, it was simpler than his Silencer that had all sorts of modifications but it will do for now. The hyperdrive that was attached connected to one of the screens on the left and displayed an issue warning. Ben cursed as it wouldn’t be able to get him very far without blowing up. 

He searched for nearby planets with inhabitants. Because he was in the outer rim, there were few especially with ones that had friendly inhabitants. In addition, this TIE was from the Empire so there were less planets displayed here than a First Order TIE. Everything just seemed to be a lot harder than it should be.

Ben picked a planet called Csilla it was close and he would just about be able to get it. It hosted the Chiss species which weren’t the friendliest but they were smart enough to have cities and towns which made Ben’s life a lot easier. So, he entered the coordinates and left the atmosphere before jumping to lightspeed. 

Lightspeed gave him a chance to think. To conjure up a plan and decide what he’ll say. He needed to get some help; to speak to someone. He had an idea. A holonet code he was taught when he was really young. One for emergencies if something ever happened to either of his parents- Uncle Lando’s.

Because it was embedded into his head from such a young age, he should be able to remember it. Like all TIE fighters, they were equipped with one so they can talk to their squad leaders or whoever. Ben thought he could probably change it but he didn’t want to right now because he was still in lightspeed. This TIE was old and hadn’t moved for ages; he didn’t want to take his chances with it.

The noise of Ben’s stomach growling caused him to groan. He hadn’t realised he was hungry and any rations in here would be ages past the expiry date. Even the sachets that tasted of cardboard which you would put in your ship for emergencies. Ben always had them in there, ever since he met Rey. Just in case he ever ran off with her and fled to a remote corner of the galaxy where it was just them. 

Ben knew this was cowardly and stupid but Palpatine was still torturing his head and imagining that was his only escape. Kylo Ren was selfish enough to take Rey away from her life. Ben was not. 

He sat in the cockpit for what felt like hours and maybe it was but he didn’t have any sort of time keeping mechanism. Ben knew he should sleep but didn’t want to in case anything went wrong. Eventually, fatigue took over and he drifted into a peaceful sleep.

It wasn’t peaceful for long. Ben woke up on Exegol. He was confused. He ran into the room and expected to see Rey. Except he didn’t. There was a dark version of Rey with a double-bladed lightsaber. She looked hot. Kylo Ren would be drooling over her but he was dead. This was Ben.

The only reason he knew it was a dream, was because he couldn’t control his actions. He was running and saying things that he couldn’t control. Empress Rey spoke in Palpatine’s voice but it was Rey. 

Ben refused to believe this was real and concluded that it was just the Force playing games with his mind. He had frequent nightmares so it was nothing new. He assumed they would stop when he was free of Palpatine but apparently not.

Rey advanced towards him and Ben knew he wouldn’t fight her. He would never even think of hurting her but he knew when he was Kylo Ren that was different. Although, he had never actually hurt her other than mind probing her when he kidnapped her.

Ben knew what was going to happen before it did. He was blocking the strikes but not returning them whereas dark Rey was giving it her everything to destroy him. He realised he was going to die again. His worst nightmare was turned into a reality. Rey was his only weakness since he met her. She knew it and this time had taken advantage of it.

No, this was Palpatine. Somehow, he had possessed her and was using her against him. Although he was dead, Palpatine was still plaguing him. Ben just had to let the past die. That was one of few things he said in front of Rey that wasn’t stupid. 

Ben hit the floor with a thud as he parried dark Rey’s blows. Well, he wasn’t actually doing it; he was watching himself do it. He was pleading Rey to stop to turn back. All the words he spoke were what he would actually say. They were the truth. He did turn for her and she is the only thing he has left. 

Eventually, Ben tired but dark Rey kept going. She swung the lightsaber and cut through Ben. As she did, he looked up in her eyes like he would if Rey actually killed him but he didn’t find the hazel eyes that would make his heart throb. Instead, he saw a glowing orange like Palpatine’s. 

Ben gasped as he woke up sweating. He tried to move to comfort himself but couldn’t because of the confined space of the cockpit. Running his hands through his hair, Ben breathed a deep sigh and tried to get his mind off the dream. Naturally, he started combing his hair through his hands trying to get the volume and curls back.

Ben would do anything in the galaxy except be seen without his hair done. Presumably, he got that from his Mother. It made him smile. She had saved him from the dark along with the rest of his family and Rey. They had all paid their lives to turn him. Except Rey, she had a different tactic but he managed to save her from the same fate as the rest of his family. 

His parents would be proud of that. If they had taught him anything in life it was to love and be loved. They didn’t show him much when they were younger or so he thought. Although they made mistakes, they always tried their best to care for him- they just couldn’t understand him. 

Beeping alerted Ben that he needed to come out of lightspeed. He dropped out and saw an ice planet in front of him. He cursed because he didn’t realise it would be cold there. All he had was these new robes which weren’t very insulating. At least they were black so they would absorb a small amount of heat. 

Ben spotted a large settlement and parked his TIE on one of the landing pads. No one asked any questions as he got out and explored. A bitter, cold wind blew through the open space. It whistled past Ben’s ears making them hurt slightly. Nevertheless, he continued his journey. The destination was unknown although if he found a canteen, he would be likely to find some sort of sympathizer. 

This settlement was in the centre of a colossal plain. Surrounding it was large ice mountains which stood out. They had pointy tops and were definitely unclimbable. Not that anyone would stray that far from civilization. In between the structure there was likely to be thick coated mammals. Deprived of food due to the lack of other inhabitants. They would devour any stray humans or natives. 

The city buildings were tall and rectangular. Some were smaller and wider whereas other were tall and thin. Other than that, there was not many other things that distinguished them from each other. Tiny windows allowed a fractional amount of light in. However, the clouds disguised the sun meaning it was hard to tell what time of day it was. Either way, Ben didn’t want to be here any longer than possible. 

Chiss was the species that lived there and weren’t known to be particularly friendly. They were intelligent enough and would likely resist a Jedi mind trick much to Ben’s annoyance so he would have to use actual words. As well, he had to make sure he wasn’t recognised because of the year he went without wearing a helmet. 

He could imagine many people wanted him dead and didn’t want to notify the remainder of the First Order of his presence. Csilla wasn’t a planet likely to be in their clutches because of their location in the galaxy. They also had a miniature empire which wasn’t big enough to cause a problem for the First Order but it would mean there were less allies to the Resistance here. 

Ben strolled through the streets avoiding locals. He didn’t have a hood or anything to hide his face though. No one seemed to bother him or give him a second look so he continued through. Ben concentrated on looking for any signs of a canteen. He came across one looking like the rest of the buildings but had canteen in fancy lettering across the top.

A sigh of relief came out of Ben’s mouth and he pushed the door open. Thankfully, there was other humans in there who would speak basic- probably. He went and asked to join a table of men who were sitting and drinking calmly. They obliged so he sat in the round booth with them.

‘Do I recognise you?’ the first one asked.

‘No, I don’t think so.’ Ben replied. He needed to get some sort of communication device.

‘Where are you from?’ the second asked. Ben was getting impatient with all the questions but he didn’t know how to answer this one. Where was his home?

‘Chandrila. Hanna City.’ Ben choked getting emotional. He was born there but that felt like a long time ago and he’d changed a significant amount since then.

‘What on earth are you doing out here then? I am Malan Tseen by the way.’ Ben hadn’t planned this far in his head yet.

‘I was doing some business um a few parsecs away and my ships hyperdrive doesn’t work. Oh, and I’m Ben.’ He wasn’t exactly lying. 

‘We have just come from Exegol but our engine got damaged and the Chiss are helping fix it.’

‘Wait, you were on Exegol?’ Ben was relieved that at least he wouldn’t have to explain that.

‘Yeah, Lando called the galaxy for help and we showed up.’ Ben laughed from happiness. 

‘Can you call Lando again? Or have you got a device so I can call him please.’ This couldn’t have been going better for Ben. 

‘I can’t communicate with him but we have a comm in the ship and if you have a code you could call him.’ The other man stated. Ben was gleaming with happiness. 

‘Yes I do have one. Please can we go as soon as possible because I need to contact him.’ Ben pleaded.

‘We can go now if you would like.’ Malan got up and Ben followed him outside. He thought it could be a trick but he had no other choice. They reached a ship which wasn’t very elegant. Though, Ben couldn’t judge he turned up in a TIE. Malan led him to the cockpit where he gestured Ben to sit and set it up. Ben entered some numbers and is fizzled as it tried to connect.

‘I’ll leave you to call whoever you need to. Just let me know when you’re done thanks.’ Malan smiled and Ben thanked him again.

Eventually Lando picked up and Ben could hear his voice.

‘Hello, this is Lando.’ Ben lent back in his seat as he could relax now.

‘Lando it’s Ben.’ He stated. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say.

‘Ben?’ He paused, ‘you’re meant to be dead.’ 

‘Yeah, long story short. I was but I’m not any longer. Can you come and help me? I need some food and clothes.’ 

‘Hold up. Where are you?’ Lando was understanding and straight to the point. 

‘Csilla. Not far from Exegol. Can you also bring me another hyperdrive like one you can attach to a ship.’ 

‘Yes, of course Ben. You and I need to have a long talk it seems.’ Lando was treating Ben like he was his parent but he was the closest thing he had to one. 

‘Okay, please hurry. I don’t have anything here.’ Ben asked. He sounded desperate but to be honest, he was. 

‘I will Ben. Do you want to speak to Rey?’ Ben stopped for a minute. He really needed to but he had to talk to Poe first. 

‘No thank you. I’ll explain when you get here.’ Ben stated. All he had to do was wait.

He went back to the canteen with Malan and talked with him and his friend for a while until Lando walked in all of a sudden. Ben leaped up and hugged him. He was almost there. Almost back to Rey. He had done the journey from Exegol by himself. 

Ben gave a goodbye to his temporary friends who may have saved his life and followed Lando out. They ended up at the Falcon and Ben’s heart stopped. This ship had provided so much hurt to him. The shutting of the door had left him alone so many times. 

Anyway, he walked up the ramp and sat round the table. They sat in silence for a moment. Lando hadn’t seen him since before he went to see Luke. He understood the shock he was going through. Ben was supposed to be dead. 

‘Can I have some food please? I haven’t had any for ages.’ Ben asked. Lando got up silently and left the room before grabbing a big duffel bag which had everything he asked for. He tucked into a pack of rations. After consuming the meal at a rapid pace Lando finally said something

‘Ben, what happened?’ Lando asked gently. Ben explained everything that had happened since he last saw his Uncle. He was careful not to miss a detail including everything about Rey. Lando sat there and absorbed everything he had just said. ‘I can’t believe it.’ 

‘Has Rey not said anything?’ Ben suddenly panicked. 

‘Yes, she had told Poe, Rose and Finn what happened but I didn’t know.’ Lando stated. Ben had so many questions about Rey.

‘How is Rey? Is she alright?’

‘She is struggling with this streak of dark side. She doesn’t know how to get rid of it. You would be able to help her.’ Ben was relieved again to hear that he was needed. He always felt like he was unwanted- not now though.

‘I want to come to the Resistance. I want to help Rey. Lando I have made so many wrong choices. Leia didn’t give me her life back to waste it. Please talk to Poe and see if he will let me come.’ Ben pleaded. ‘And can we not tell Rey yet because if Poe doesn’t want me there, I don’t want to force her away from her friends.’ Lando nodded. 

‘That is my nephew right there.’ Both men smiled, ‘everything you asked for is in the bag as well as a few credits to get you a room. There is a comm in there that I will communicate to you on when Poe had made a decision.’ 

‘Thank you so much Lando.’ Ben genuinely meant it. He walked out with the bag and cleared the landing pad so his Uncle could take off. Ben found a hotel after a while to stay in for a week and had money to pay for longer if necessary. 

Things were beginning to get better and Ben was thankful for it all. He was one step closer to Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! How is everyone doing this evening? Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)
> 
> Ben is one step closer to Rey


	7. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally gets a message back from Lando. But will the Resistance allow him to come to Ajan Kloss?

Time was a thing Ben had lost track of. He slept whenever he felt tired and just sat in the room most of the day. Ben presumed Malan and his friend had left. He had returned to the canteen twice and neither of them were there each time. Sadly, Ben never got the chance to thank them properly. Should he ever encounter them again he would pay them in any means necessary.

While waiting for news from Lando, Ben fixed his ship and the hyperdrive was good enough to make a journey across the galaxy. Although, the fuel tank probably couldn’t reach that distance. Ben regularly flew the TIE so the engine didn’t totally freeze in the brutal bleak weather. However, he didn’t go very far; just around the mountains and back.

Ben also went on walks to pass time and keep active but he couldn’t do these often in fear of getting noticed. The last thing Ben needed was to announce his presence to the First Order or the Resistance. He wore a hooded cloak which covered his face so he wouldn’t reveal his identity to anyone.

Being alone, Ben didn’t have much to do. He could reflect on what he had done and the choices he had made but then his thoughts would always drift to Rey. For saying he thought of her a lot, he had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to her still. He didn’t know whether she would try to kill him or kiss him or both. Ben wouldn’t blame her for either. He promised her she wouldn’t be alone and then left her. Ben hated himself for that but he knew she would have done the same in his position. 

One evening, after sitting and doing nothing all day, Ben didn’t feel tired so he chose to go for a walk. He had wrapped up suitably and left his room. Having had his curtains shut all day meant Ben didn’t notice it was night but this didn’t stop him. He took his usual route and started ambling down the street.

Due to it being night, there weren’t many people around. Ben saw this as a good thing; it was less people to recognize to him. Hopefully, it wouldn’t them much longer to decide whether the Resistance want him or not. 

It was so cold Ben could see his breath. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and kept going. He turned a corner and saw a group of Chiss. They looked menacing and troublesome. Ben moved over so he could keep away from them. He didn’t want to cause any trouble. Unfortunately, Ben made eye contact with one of them and instantly regretted it. The realisation hit the Chiss like a brick wall and Ben cursed as he knew he’d been recognised. 

He sped up his pace and tried to get away there was no point trying anything else. Kylo Ren would have decimated them without thinking but this was Ben. He wouldn’t go straight to violence.

All of a sudden, reactions caused Ben to turn and use the force. He had stopped a blaster shot hitting him which was literally millimetres from doing so. Ben should have predicted they were going to shoot. He would have to make sure they didn’t declare his location to the galaxy. 

Ben realised he didn’t have his lightsaber when he reached for it. He would have to do this purely by using the Force. Simply, he knocked them all to the ground with a wave of his hand and waited for them to get back up. It took a while but they eventually did. 

When two did he threw them against the wall of a nearby building and they fell to the floor lifeless. The other three didn’t get up again so Ben ran off as fast as he could. He took a shortcut down an alleyway so he could get home faster. 

There he found a woman crying. Ben stopped to check if she was alright because it was late at night and she should be asleep not crying her eyes out.

‘Are you okay?’ Ben asked softly. The woman looked up at her and he saw that she was also a Chiss. This didn’t bother him but reminded him he should probably keep running. Although, this woman was upset and Ben wanted to comfort her. He knelt down but kept his distance from her. 

She looked up at him and she wasn’t crying. The Chiss moved towards him so fast he couldn’t stop. She was all over him trying to kiss him. Ben of course was not obliging. He froze her in the force so she would stop and ran away from her and was at the end of the alleyway before releasing her. He didn’t hurt her of course but he was afraid of her. The last thing he needed was attention from anyone not including Rey of course. 

When Ben got back to his room he sat down on the bed and breathed. He locked the door with a wave of his hand and breathed. That was not how he wanted that walk to go. It was late at night but he didn’t think people would try to kill him or kiss him. Miraculously both happened.

Ben would rather have someone attempt to kill him rather than kiss him though. He would be livid if someone tried to kiss Rey and if she cared about him as much as he does her then she would not be happy to hear about his encounter. Not that he would hide it from her anyway. 

After the recent events, Ben decided it was best to stay inside until Lando contacted him. Not having much to do, Ben resulted in eating again. He had done a lot of that of late and though he often went on runs, he couldn’t train properly with a lightsaber. Ben needed to construct a new one seeing as he threw his red one in an ocean. Probably not one of his most intelligent ideas but he wanted to make his Dad proud. 

All Ben had to do now was wait. Wait for Lando to communicate with him. He needed some sort of human contact and he wanted to call Lando but didn’t in case he was busy helping the Resistance. It did seem to be taking a long time and Ben had no way of knowing what was going on. As far as he knew, the remainder of the First Order was still out there and many systems were still not free yet. 

He got if the decision needed some contemplation but surely it shouldn’t take this long. To be fair, he had lost track of time so he wouldn’t know. There was nothing he could do and he felt helpless. After leading the First Order for a year, he was used to all the big decision making not having everyone else do it for him. Yes, those decisions usually ended in death of innocent people or annoying people if he was in a mood which was the majority of the time but he wanted to get on with helping now. Millions of innocent lives had been taken by his hand and Ben would have to acknowledge that and live with it for the rest of his life. 

A day maybe longer passed before the comm finally crackled as Lando tried to connect. Ben was meditating at the time and fell to the floor after losing concentration. He grabbed the comm just as Lando said:

‘Hello Ben.’ He sounded cheery and happy so Ben assumed it was good news. 

‘Hello Lando. Got any news to share?’ Ben asked impatiently. 

‘Funnily enough yes I do. It’s been really bad weather on Kamino lately. Really rainy and stormy.’ Lando said seriously. 

‘But it’s always rainy on Kamino. Come on now Lando, I’ve been waiting ages for this. There’s literally been nothing to do.’ Ben whined. 

‘Well, we have made a deal. You can come to the Resistance but you have to behave and help Rey with her darkness. She still doesn’t know you’re coming do you want someone to tell her?’ 

‘No thanks. Leave it for a surprise. I really appreciate you helping me Lando it means a lot.’

‘Anything for my nephew. Poe will speak to you when you get here about specifics but I’m going to be honest neither Finn nor Poe trust you the only person who does is Rey and she doesn’t know you’re coming yet. You’ll have to earn their trust and the rest of the Resistance’s. Although, the rest of the Resistance doesn’t know you were Kylo Ren what I suggest you tell them is that you are Leia’s son. Maybe one day, you can tell everyone the truth once the war is over.’

Ben didn’t want to hide his identity but didn’t want to cause a mutiny because as far as he knew, Poe and Finn were doing a pretty good job. He knew his Mother and Luke didn’t tell the galaxy that Vader was their Father and even Ben himself didn’t find out from his parents who his Grandfather really was. The quicker he was honest the better. Though it seemed like people already didn’t trust him and that just made matters worse. 

It was the best the situation was going to get though. Ben had almost forgotten one important question. 

‘Lando? Where is the base?’ 

‘Oh yeah sorry kid I forgot to tell you. We’re on Ajan Kloss. A jungle moon orbiting Ajara. You should be able to find it on your navigation. I presume you will be leaving as soon as possible and if you need anything, I will answer you.’ Lando assured.

‘Thank you so much. My bag has been packed for ages. I never really unpacked it though. I will be back to my TIE and at Ajan Kloss as soon as possible.’ Ben disconnected and excitedly grabbed his bag and left the room. He announced his departure in the hotel reception and left.

By the time Ben had reached his TIE, he was beyond freezing. It seemed to be especially freezing today and Ben had hurried to reach it. Thankfully, he didn’t have any trouble on the way. Once he got there, he sat inside it and turned the engine.

Although he couldn’t find Ajan Kloss, Ajara was there on the map. It was relatively close and not as remote as Ben thought. It was near many hyperlanes which could reveal them but they didn’t have many choices after Crait. Obviously, this was because of Ben’s excellent leadership skills. 

He put the coordinates for Ajara and left the planet. After jumping to lightspeed Ben sat back in his seat and waited. The journey wouldn’t be too long but he should probably sleep. Or rehearse what he was going to say to Rey. Although sleeping sounded the better idea he feared he would have another nightmare. He hadn’t had any for the past few days so he didn’t worry too much. 

They usually came in waves. When something was going on. Like when he had force connections with Rey while she was on Ahch-To. He had them every night and he wanted a connection after so she could comfort him but at the same time, he didn’t want to see her him as weak. 

Eventually, Ben fell asleep and was awoken by a beeping signalling he needed to leave hyperspace. He was finally here. Rey was one of these planets. From what Lando said, he assumed it would be green if it was jungles. Ben found a green planet and hastily sped towards it. 

Annoyingly, Lando hadn’t actually told him where the base was so he didn’t enter the atmosphere until he saw some caves which seemed to have an array of colours in between the trees. They were ships so Ben flew towards them. 

As he got nearer, he felt Rey. Her presence of light was overwhelming and Ben almost cried from relief. He had been through so much to get back to her and now he finally was. Ben noticed a clear landing platform and proceeded to land there. It looked like the entire Resistance was there waiting for his arrival. He understood that they would take precautions so he didn’t do anything about that.

Carefully, he landed the TIE and climbed out. Before reaching the bottom of the ladder he was already in Rey’s arms. She fit so perfectly there like they were made for each other. 

‘Ben, you’re here.’ Rey breathed. Her voice literally caused his stomach to flutter. 

‘No one’s ever really gone.’ He never wanted to let her go. They were both safe and no one could hurt them. Things could only get better from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I apologise for it taking so long to get Ben back for Rey but next chapter they can have an actual conversation. Thank you again for all your support :)


	8. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey finally get to have a conversation. But will everyone at the Resistance accept him or will they turn him away?

Ben would have loved to stay in Rey’s arms forever but of course he couldn’t. He released her from his tight hold. Ben didn’t mean to hug her so tight and she was probably suffocating but she didn’t say if she was. They had been apart for too long but now they were back together again.

He met her eyes and they along with her face were changing emotions rapidly. From happiness to worry to anger. She settled on anger a lot longer than Ben would have liked.

‘BEN SOLO! YOU LEFT ME ALONE! YOU DIED IN MY ARMS AND TOOK SO LONG TO COME BACK. I DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD COME BACK. That scared me.’ Rey yelled as she pushed Ben hard using the force slightly so he ended up on the ground. He deserved it. No one said anything and they all just looked at Rey- Ben included. She took a deep breath and looked at Ben on the floor. He was in awe of her. She had caught him off guard. 

Ben got up again and looked at her. Instead of shouting again she just hugged him. He had really missed her. Finn and Poe coughed to remind them there were other people here. Rey turned around and they walked to talk to Poe and Finn together. Ben liked the word together- it had become his favourite to use around Rey. 

‘Hi everyone. I’m Ben. I am the son of Leia and Han. I died and came back from the dead with the help from my Mother.’ Rey gave him an inquisitive look and gave her an “I’ll tell you later” look. ‘I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I hope I can help and begin to fix them.’ Ben smiled and no one responded to anything. 

Poe gestured for everyone to put their guns away and he relaxed a small bit. Though, both Finn and Poe were giving Ben a dirty look. He understood their dislike for him. As he did torture Poe and Rey then sliced Finn’s back

Lando came through to the front and greeted Ben with a big hug. 

‘I’m so glad to see you kid,’ he exclaimed. Ben smiled and he hugged him again. Then he heard a roar he recognised coming through the crowd. 

‘Chewie!’ Ben shouted. He flew into the wookie’s arms and embraced the warmth of his fur. He hadn’t seen him since he was a little boy. Well, he had seen him the night he killed his Father but he was consumed with darkness. 

Eventually, they let go of each other and Chewie said something in Shyriiwook that made both Ben and Rey laugh. Poe and Finn however, were not amused. Ben turned their attention to them in case they wanted to say anything. He saw who was presumably Rose and smiled at her. Ben could feel the he was intimidating her so he softened the smile. 

A gold figure came through the crowd obviously wanting to know what this was all about. He was loud and the metal clanked as he obtrusively made his way through the gathering of people. When Ben saw who the gold figure was, he was not delighted. 

‘Hello, how can I be of service? I am C’

‘3-PO.’ Ben finished

‘Master Ben! How lovely to see you again.’ 3PO stated. Ben sighed indicating it wasn’t as nice as the droid implied. He hadn’t seen that droid for years and the only thing it reminded him of was his childhood. That was not something he particularly wanted to bring up again. 

‘Solo, we have a lot to discuss, let’s go.’ Poe stated coldly. The rest of the Resistance returned to whatever they were doing prior to his arrival. Rey stood by his side and he smiled at her before they went into the base.

The base of course was small and in a big need of repairs but unlike the First Order the Resistance didn’t have the money to do that. They had another thing instead- love. Most of them fought for lost ones and made new friends and family here. Ben admired that. Their tragedies had been turned into love instead of hatred and anger. It was a good place to be. The feeling was very bright and positive and meditating here would be peaceful. 

‘Ben, you okay?’ Rey asked. Ben nodded. He was overwhelmed with emotion and Rey could feel that through the bond. Thankfully, that was still intact. They might not have forcebonds though anymore because Ben never planned to leave her side unless she asked. 

Poe and Finn led them to a room with a table and some chairs. It was lit well with the natural light coming through the gaps in the walls. They must have been actually in the cave. It was intriguing how the Resistance worked. Everyone played their part appropriately but the leadership wasn’t harsh and Poe obviously didn’t strangle annoying people to death like Ben used to. 

Poe’s resentment towards Ben was obvious. He clearly hated him and Ben hated who he was too. However, they would both have to adapt to the situation and over time Ben could gain his trust. Poe took a seat one side of the table with Finn and Ben and Rey sat the other side. 

The air was thick with tension and anger. Ben and Rey were both calm whereas the other two weren’t. 

I missed you.

Rey shot those 3 words through the bond. They were her thoughts but she spoke them. Ben figured it meant they could have private conversations like this which was useful.

I missed you too. I’m sorry I took so long to get back to you.

What happened?

I’ll explain later, I promise.

‘Right, Solo, we spoke to Lando and he told us what you told him. Rey he’ll fill you in after. You two can go for a walk and he can show you the base and whatever. There’s another bed opposite yours so he can sleep there.’

‘But we are also happy for him to sleep outside.’ Finn joked. It likely wasn’t a joke though. Ben knew they wouldn’t appreciate him here and he would have to accept their hostility. 

‘Have you got a cell? That might be comfier.’ Ben said.

‘Ben, we do have a cell so don’t go giving them any ideas.’ Rey was not impressed with him trying to lighten the situation.

‘Okay, anything else you need from me?’ Ben asked.

‘You can’t have your own weapon; we don’t trust you. We will be having a meeting about the First Order soon but there are other matters to attend to first. I’ll be catching up with you soon Ben. Be on your best behaviour.’ Poe added the last bit jokingly but again it was serious. 

Finn and Poe left the room leaving just Ben and Rey sitting there by themselves. She was literally radiating light by sitting there. Her happiness was glowing off her and he had no clue why everyone was so worried about the darkness. 

‘Your thoughts are loud.’ Rey pointed out. 

‘I’m sorry. What was I thinking about then?’ Ben laughed.

‘Me.’ Rey stated. There was no point trying to hide that. ‘But I couldn’t tell exactly what about me you were thinking about.’ Rey tried to reach into his mind but luckily Ben was good at clearing it from practice with Snoke. She had clearly found that thought when she sighed. ‘Ben, you’re safe. You’re with me. No one is going to hurt you.’ Ben huffed clearly judging by Poe’s reaction to his arrival this was not the case. She heard that thought too. ‘Ben, look at me. You’re safe. No one will hurt you. I promise.’

It shouldn’t have been that way round. Ben thought he was supposed to be protecting her. He was meant to be the one comforting her but it was the other way round. He was weak around her; he let everything slide and maybe that was a good thing. She could teach him to be human again.

‘I’m sorry Rey for ever leaving you. I will literally stay by your side until we both become one with the Force when we’re grey and old.’ He paused Rey wasn’t meeting his eyes. Maybe she didn’t want to spend forever with him. ‘What is it Rey? Talk to me.’

‘Ben, I thought I would have to wait until I died to be with you again. I am so overwhelmed with emotion right now. Can we enjoy now rather than think of the future?’ Rey asked. Ben felt her pulsing emotions through the Force. 

‘Of course. I know I’m a little different and you have to get to know me okay?’ Rey hadn’t changed one bit and he would literally do anything for her right now. 

‘Can we go for a walk? I’ll show you around the base if you want?’ Rey suggested and Ben obliged. They got up and Ben followed her out to her room. He still had his bag on him and even though it didn’t have much in it, it was still annoying to carry around. Plus, the bag wasn’t really Ben’s look. 

‘Rey, can we drop the bag off somewhere?’ 

‘Yeah, we can drop it off at our room. It’s this way.’ She led him through the main hangar where there was a gaping hole evidently belonging to a ship that was probably destroyed on Exegol. Then down a corridor and into their room. Ben put his bag on the bed opposite Rey’s. He looked around the room and noticed something on the chair.

‘Is this my jumper?’ Ben questioned. Rey blushed. She clearly hadn’t intended him to see it. 

‘Um, yeah, it is.’ Rey awkwardly hid her face and he felt her embarrassment through the bond. He sighed and went over to her and kissed her forehead.

‘Rey, that’s so sweet. You don’t need to be embarrassed about that.’ Ben assured. Rey looked up and met his eyes. He so wanted to kiss her but she probably wouldn’t want that and she probably heard that through the bond.

‘Ben?’ Rey definitely heard that thought- not a bad thing though. He lent in to kiss her and Finn had to walk into the room. Ben sighed and Rey stepped away from him.

‘Rey, can we talk?’ Finn asked. Rey nodded and followed him out the room into the corridor.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘What’s up Finn?’ Rey asked impatiently. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk to Finn it was just that she wanted to get back to Ben. She didn’t want to lose him again. Not that he would leave or anything she just didn’t trust the galaxy. It was cruel and took the things people loved away from them. 

‘Rey, just be careful.’ Finn scolded. Rey turned and looked at him in horror. Finn didn’t trust Ben and make that extremely clear but, Rey did. She thought it was unfair that he was trying to ruin her happiness. Rey could take down the entire galaxy by herself most likely and Finn is telling her to be careful of one man. Maybe Ben was her weakness but they were also each other’s strengths. They brought out the best in each other. Finn would just have to deal with that.

‘You’re unbelievable Finn.’ Rey said. Perhaps Rey was overreacting but she had a reason to be. That day’s event had drowned her in emotions which she wasn’t prepared for. This was not the day to push her. 

Rey turned and Finn grabbed her arm. Immediately, Ben was there. He looked menacing but had a calm manner to him. 

‘Finn, let her go.’ Ben calmly advised. Finn proceeded to follow the instructions and gave Rey a look before leaving. ‘Rey, you okay?’ Ben gently asked. She nodded but Ben didn’t look convinced. Rey stretched her arms out and Ben hugged her. He smelt so good and he heard Ben chuckle at the thought. She cleared her head. ‘Rey, don’t shut me out. Let me help you.’ Rey let all her thoughts flood through her head. There was a significant number of dark ones it seemed.

I don’t want to turn to the dark side Ben. 

You know I won’t let that happen. 

It was too much for Rey. Ben returning, the darkness and the fact that Exegol was only a few weeks ago. She hadn’t got a proper chance to even think that through properly- not that she wanted to particularly.

‘I haven’t shown you the rest of the base.’ Rey remembered. 

‘Rey, you have a lot going on right now and you think of that?’ Ben chuckled. Rey looked up at him so Ben followed her. They went out the corridor and across the main hangar to where the food hall was. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was sparkling clean. Rather than it being a brown stone with moss climbing it, it was white and pristine. There was no sight of dirt and it felt rather like a hospital room. However, it made sense. The last thing the Resistance needed was a disease outbreak from food. They were the hope of the galaxy. 

Like the rest of the room, the tables also shone with gleam and gloated it proudly. The tables were in rows but they were different sizes so they were accustomed to different amounts of people. Ben liked that about the Resistance. They definitely were a lot more relaxed than the First Order. That could be an issue when it comes to emergencies but they escaped from Crait after blowing up Starkiller so it wasn’t an issue. 

Ben didn’t know why he spent so long in the canteen. It had a resemblance to his room on the Incinerator so maybe that was the reason.

‘Ben, should we go somewhere else?’ Rey asked politely. Ben nodded and he followed her out the room. They went to a corner crammed with screens displaying data and analysing the First Order. Holograms of their ships and people were spotted everywhere in the vicinity. ‘This is where we the technicians try and figure out anything and everything about the First Order.’

Then he saw himself. There was a picture of Kylo Ren with his helmet back on. Soon enough, people would know who he is. They must have pictures of him without a helmet somewhere. Ben sighed. The truth would always find a way out but maybe it wouldn’t be as dramatic as Ben thought it would be. 

That was until one of the technicians had inevitably changed the photo to one of Ben’s face. Rey noticed it and so had everyone else. He was speechless. Nothing he would say would be able to remove the pain in their faces. 

Ben could have blamed the entire thing on Palpatine manipulating him but that wasn’t what happened. He had made his own choices at the end of the day.

‘Guys stop.’ Rey shouted. ‘This was Kylo Ren. Ben has changed. He was manipulated by Palpatine himself to do bad things.’ Rey was trying to help but the longer Ben didn’t say anything the longer it would take to gain the trust.

‘Rey, I got this. Um, hi everyone. I know everyone here probably hates me right now but I have never tried to hide who I am. I am Leia’s son who fell to the dark side and became Kylo Ren. What Rey said is the truth but I still made my own choices. Palpatine may have tortured me to the point that I felt like I had no other choice but I did. I could have prevented my fall to the dark side.

I can imagine most of you have had loved ones destroyed by the First Order or the Final Order and I apologise sincerely for any deaths caused by me. Yes, I did lead the First Order for a year but that was my only choice. If I had left the First Order, it would have left Hux in charge. He just wanted to build another superweapon. I wouldn’t let him. 

I’m sure you know that I had an obsession with finding Rey. She is the last Jedi and that maybe a reason but ever since I met her, she has amazed me. I asked her to rule the galaxy with me twice, tortured her, rudely got her to admit to what happened to her parents and I was an idiot to her. Now, she has miraculously forgiven me. I don’t ask the same from you. I don’t expect any of you to forgive or trust me. But I just wanted to say how sorry I am and how much I am trying to begin to make things right.’ Ben concluded. No one had immediately gone to shoot him that was a start. He didn’t know what to do next. They all returned to their work even though there was a lot of whispering.

Ben looked to Rey. She had tears in her eyes. Ben spoked to her through the bond rather than out loud.

Rey, why are you upset? Did I say something?

Rey shook her head in response and sniffed. HE hugged her again and they both stood there for a moment in each other’s arms. 

Ben, you are so brave for being honest. They’ll really appreciate that. 

Ben nodded and hugged Rey tighter. What a day that had been. It was a literal emotional rollercoaster. 

‘Do you want to go to bed Rey?’ Ben looked down at the tiny woman in his arms. She may be tiny but she was the strongest woman in the entire galaxy. 

‘I heard that thought Ben. You are the strongest person I have ever met. You have the guts to come back here even though you know people won’t want you here. Not me, I want you. Just stay, don’t ever leave me again.’ Rey asked. She reached up and stroked his hair. It wasn’t as if they weren’t in the middle of the Resistance hangar and were far away living peacefully just the two of them. ‘Come on Ben, let’s go to bed.’ Rey then led Ben back to their room. 

Rey took her stuff into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Meanwhile, Ben found some standard pyjamas on his bed which thankfully were black. He may have turned to the light but he still favoured black. 

Ben needed a proper shower. The ones on Csilla weren’t particularly nice as it wasn’t a luxury hotel but he was grateful for anything at that point. Ben got in the shower once Rey had come out the bathroom. He would have loved to go in there at the same time as her but there had been enough emotions and drama for one day. 

When he came out the bathroom, Rey was in bed. He smiled at her little self in the big bed. Ben climbed into the one opposite and turned the light off. 

‘Goodnight Rey.’ Ben said. 

‘Goodnight Ben.’ Rey replied. ‘Wait, we didn’t even finish the tour.’ Ben smiled. 

‘How about you show me tomorrow?’ 

‘Okay.’ Neither of them said anything after that. They both closed their eyes and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) Thank you for reading. I apologise it took so long for Rey and Ben to have a conversation but now we can finally progress the story!


	9. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a dark nightmare which she meets her dark side self again. Will she manage to stay on the light?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly dark and I tried to avoid going into too much detail.

Rey’s sleep wasn’t peaceful. She tossed and turned most of the night. Getting to sleep was easy enough but staying asleep was the tricky part. 

When Rey awoke, she immediately knew something was wrong. It was strange enough that Rey wasn’t in her bed. What made it completely bizarre was that she was on another planet. She must have been dreaming.

It had similarities to Jakku. There was sand beneath Rey’s feet which was an unusual red colour. Not like the colour of blood or the throne room on Snoke’s ship but rustier and browner. Rey hadn’t seen much colour in her lifetime as Jakku didn’t bring much variety of shades. 

This sand didn’t get lifted up and dance in the wind like on Jakku; it was set into the ground as if it was hard. Rey reached down to touch the ground and could actually feel it under her fingertips. Usually in dreams, Rey wasn’t physically there and couldn’t move or interact with her surrounding but this was different. It could have been because of her stronger connection to the force. 

This place was unlike anything Rey had seen before. The sky was a red colour not unsimilar from the sand. As well, there were tall, pointed mountains that would tear any ships that fell onto it through the atmosphere. These were scattered around but tightly packed making it hard to see past them. Whether any life or walkable land was between them was unknown to Rey. None of that would matter though because she knew it was just a dream.

Rey was stood in an alleyway. Colossal statues formed the pathway guiding Rey towards a pyramid shaped building at the end. These statues resembled the ones on Exegol and they radiated the same power. The same evil power- the dark side. Rey knew she could not be tempted and drawn in by this but she shouldn’t be scared of it either. The quote fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering was at the forefront of her mind and was her main motivation at that point. 

Her usual motivation was Ben. However, he was nowhere to be found. He wasn’t usually in these dreams most of the time. On the rare occasion he had been but it was rarely actually Ben. Instead the unforgiving Jedi hunter Kylo Ren appeared which was a reminder that she was the only hope left of the Jedi and how she had to keep training to defeat him. 

Carefully, Rey took a step and began walking towards this pyramid. The power radiating from it indicated it was some sort of Sith temple and she needed to be really cautious. Even though it was a dream, the domination of the dark side was still real. It suffocated the air making it had to be on the light side. Rey persisted because she knew the consequences. 

It didn’t look like it was getting dark anytime soon and the monuments provided bits of shade for Rey to walk into to get out of the way of the blistering sun. After being in the rainforest for so long, Rey had forgotten what it was like in the desert. Minimal life could survive and loneliness was inevitable. 

Upon reaching the entrance, Rey stepped inside feeling the cool walls of the stone as she went in. The building was in direct sunlight so the stone probably shouldn’t have been cold but this was a different planet, one Rey had never seen before, it could have been built out of materials that wouldn’t heat up. 

The change from the scorching heat to the icy cold was explicit and made Rey shiver slightly. She had never been able to feel the weather either. Having no idea where she was going, Rey followed her instinct to find whatever the purpose of this dream was. 

She was alone. No one was here and the only noise was her breathing which appeared in front of her. Rey rubbed her arms as it was getting colder the further she went in. The cold was unnerving and put Rey on edge. She didn’t have any extra clothing but it wouldn’t matter anyway. You couldn’t die in a dream, right? 

A lightsaber ignition caused Rey to sharply turn. She expected to see Palpatine or Ben or someone but it was herself again. It was unsettling how her dark side self had appeared to her 3 times in the past few weeks. Maybe it was because of her growing anger and resentment she was battling with. 

Dark Rey moved towards her slowly but with no threat. She clearly didn’t intend of fighting Rey for the moment. Rey took some time to analyse her. She had never properly got the chance to see her. It was her identical twin but on the wrong side of the force. Yes, Rey knew she needed to destroy her but she could see what her dark side version wanted first. 

‘What do you want?’ Rey asked. 

‘To show you your power. To end your hurting and hatred.’ Dark Rey answered but did not elaborate. Rey understood she had power and a tiny bit of hatred but the hurting was the thing she didn’t understand. 

However, Rey’s thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of two people. They were from the Resistance which was proudly branded on their clothes. Both of them were female and they looked happy as they laughed and walked towards them. It was too late before Rey knew what was going to happen. ‘Now, you will see your full potential.’ Dark Rey followed her sentence with a blast of lightning out her fingertips.

Rey was so frozen either in shock or by the Force that she couldn’t move. The women were screaming and so was Rey. She was begging her other self to stop. Of course, dark Rey didn’t. She continued ruthlessly until both were motionless on the floor. ‘This is what you could become Rey.’ She emphasised the you in an attempt to make Rey realise they were the same person. 

‘No, I will never give into the anger.’ Rey put her head in her hands and looked down at her feet. She couldn’t give into it. No matter how many people got hurt turning would not be the better option. 

‘Don’t cry.’ A little girl’s voice startled her. She was standing next to her looking at Rey. 

‘NO! RUN!’ shouted Rey. She couldn’t watch more people die. The little girl didn’t move however. Dark Rey shot lightning bolts at the both of them. Everything in Rey’s body was screaming in pain but all she could think of was the small child next to her. 

After the bolts stopped, Rey rapidly sat up to check on the girl next to her but she wasn’t as lucky. She also was motionless which left three of them. Rey wanted to attack dark Rey but knew she shouldn’t.

‘Give in Rey and all your pain will go away,’ dark Rey assured.

‘No.’ Rey didn’t have a chance to say anything else as a man and a woman ran in. They saw the little girl and cradled her body-it was their little girl. Rey gasped in horror. This hurt more than the lightning bolts which had made her body ache still but she had to be strong and find the light. 

It was hard. A little girl had just died purely because of Rey. There was no other explanation. Whether the girl actually died outside the dream was unknown to Rey but she couldn’t bear to contemplate what she would do if she actually had. 

‘It will be easier if you give in. People will stop dying,’ dark Rey was trying to manipulate Rey. If dark Rey had these manipulation skills, Rey did to. 

‘No, they won’t. You should stop hating and love.’ Rey tried to flip it round and convince dark Rey to stop hating. She wouldn’t fight her. It wasn’t the right thing to do. 

‘Then you will suffer more then,’ dark Rey concluded. She electrocuted the girl’s parents until they lay motionless on the floor like their daughter. Rey couldn’t speak but she knew dark Rey wouldn’t stop.

She knew it would be someone close to her to walk through next. Rey didn’t want to suffer more. She often had strong Force dreams but they would never cause her this much emotion. All Rey wanted to do was curl up in a ball and be back in bed. 

Laughing caused Rey to sharply look up. It was Beaumont, Connix and Rose. Rey rapidly stood in front of them becoming the only thing between them and her dark side. She had to protect them; she didn’t know how long she could stand watching the people she loved die. Why was the Force showing her this? It was cruel and served no purpose. 

Rey looked back to up dark Rey who expressed no emotion on her face. Perhaps she would just electrocute them all so she ignited her lightsaber. She couldn’t defend all of them but she had to try. Being hopeful was Rey’s only option. Giving into the dark side would only cause her more pain and suffering unlike what dark Rey was trying to tell her- Ben was an example of it.

‘The dark side is in your blood Rey, just embrace it.’ Rey scoffed. It was truthful but she would not embrace it. She would rather die than do that. Was that what the dream was trying to show her? That she needed to stay on the light side and that the grey area wasn’t worth adventuring towards. 

‘I will never turn.’ Rey was angry and she knew that wouldn’t help the situation but she didn’t know what else to do. Attacking the dark side seemed like a good idea but that’s what she wanted. To fight with her anger but she would regret that decision later. No, it wasn’t an option. 

‘So be it.’ Dark Rey responded. She shot lightning bolts at them but Rey’s yellow blade sent them back. Rey was determined to save the helpless people behind her. They weren’t their usual selves though. They were still laughing and talking like they weren’t about to walk into their deaths. Rey was the only thing stopping them from doing that. 

Persevering was one of Rey’s best traits and was useful in circumstances like this. She stood strong with her lightsaber in both hands deflecting the blue bolts back. It was alike what happened on Exegol except the fate of the galaxy was at hand not Rey’s friends. 

Over time, Rey tired. There was nothing more she could do and she was about to fall on the ground through fatigue. Giving up was not an option though. People’s lives were at stake here. It may have been a dream but she couldn’t lose. She couldn’t watch more people die. Especially as every time it was someone closer to her. 

Dark Rey however did not tire. She seemed to gain strength or it may have been because Rey was tiring. One final bolt of lightning sent Rey flying onto the floor. She tried to get up but dark Rey held her in place with one hand. The other hand she used to send lightning bolts out again which crackled loudly but not loud enough to cover Rey’s shout. 

Rey couldn’t take it anymore. Her voice croaked and her head throbbed from falling. There was nothing she could do. No matter how hard she cried or how loud she shouted dark Rey would not stop. Rey tried thrashing to break free but even using her hands to retaliate was impossible as she couldn’t move them. 

They like the rest of them, lay lifeless on the floor. There was little to none floor visible. It was crowded with bodies of innocent, dead people. All because of her, this was her fault. 

‘Yes, it is your fault. If you take my life then you can have revenge,’ dark Rey prompted. She was trying to trick her and turn her again. She couldn’t watch more people die but she couldn’t kill her because she was stuck there. Dark Rey was just trying to make her angry to turn her. No matter how many people she hurt Rey couldn’t turn. 

She felt his presence before she saw him and recognised two other voices. It was Finn, Poe and Ben. No, Rey couldn’t watch them get hurt again. They weren’t actually in the dream but Rey couldn’t do it. She would have to turn or watch them get hurt. There was no debate here. She had to turn. It was a dream it wouldn’t matter surely. 

‘Stop!’ dark Rey turned to look at Rey who called out. ‘I’ll turn please just don’t hurt them.’ Rey was released from her hold and got up. She stood there. Of course, she wasn’t actually going to embrace the dark side but she had to look like she would. For Poe and Finn and Ben. There was nothing else she could try. 

Her friends still walked towards them and didn’t notice them. It was like they were possessed or controlled. Obviously, that couldn’t happen as this was a dream. She had to remind herself that. None of these people were actually dead she could still save them. 

Dark Rey lifted up her hand and froze Rey’s closest friends and Ben. Ben was more than a friend but Rey needed to focus on hiding her light side and almost becoming fully dark. She was on the edge of going into it but Rey had it under control. Her fear was evident and she couldn’t mask it. 

‘Don’t be scared Rey. You will become the most powerful in the galaxy. To complete your transition, you must kill them. But where do you begin?’ Dark Rey had fake pity in her voice and it was frustrating. What Rey had been told washed all the darkness out of her. She could no longer pretend that she was going to turn. ‘I am not foolish Rey. I knew you would never turn as long as you had people you loved. So, you will watch them die.’ 

‘No!’ Rey ignited her lightsaber but didn’t the dark side version of herself. She would not choose or turn. There had to be some other way. She had to find another option- a balance. Not kill everyone like a Sith would do but not use the Force for just defence like a Jedi

The Jedi weren’t supposed to love people; it was forbidden. Rey loved all of these people. The Sith were meant to hate and fight with violence and destroy peace. Most of all, they killed people without thought. Rey couldn’t do that. She had to find a compromise. There had to be another way. 

‘Rey, stop fighting the dark. Let it in,’ dark Rey defended Rey’s only strike because she put her lightsaber back on her belt. 

‘Never. I will not kill anyone. There must be another way.’ Rey was desperate. The only other way was death. Death wouldn’t fix the problem. ‘I won’t fight you.’ Rey needed some help. She didn’t know how to do it. How to be in this middle grey area. It was a plausible theory that the Force was trying to show her that it wasn’t possible to exist in the grey area but it had to be. 

‘Then you will die,’ dark Rey concluded. She shot lightning bolts out. Rey defended them with her lightsaber. She didn’t know how to save them. If dark Rey was using lightning bolts that meant Rey probably could use them to. 

Rey shot them up to the ceiling with her other hand so the cave came crashing down separating Rey, Poe, Finn and Ben from dark Rey. She had to get them out and they wouldn’t respond to anything they did. Somehow, they were still frozen. 

As Rey had destroyed part of the ceiling, the rest of it was collapsing. She wouldn’t leave them here. Rey had managed to find a way to use the dark side -but not in a malicious way. It just trapped dark Rey not killing her and maybe that would keep her out of her dreams again. 

It was an incredible achievement for Rey. She used the dark side of the Force to destroy the dark side but without actually being on the dark side. This was the grey area Rey had been searching for and the purpose of the dream, Rey realised, was actually something Rey could connect to and embrace. 

The roof of the cave was at the point of falling on them. Loud cracks were audible and visible. She needed to move to get them out. There seemed to be no way to do it. Small chunks began to fall then larger ones followed. One crushed Poe and Finn and only Ben stood. 

Rey ran over to him but as soon she reached him, she saw a large rock falling on her.

Rey sat up and was breathing heavily. She was in the covers of her own bed. Clutching them tighter, Rey began to feel more at home and in reality. It was just the dream had seemed so real. If it was then she was dead which was clearly not the case. 

The dream was haunting her. She couldn’t get it off her mind. Rey began to cry. It was a horrible dream. Not even that describes it. It was a nightmare like the ones she used to get as a child. She had to deal with them all alone and just cuddle up to herself at night and wish for a peaceful sleep. 

‘Rey, are you okay?’ Ben asked. She had forgotten he was in the opposite bed. Rey didn’t say anything she couldn’t for a moment; she just continued crying. Ben got up and came across and sat on the corner of her bed. Opening her arms, Rey welcomed Ben’s hug. ‘Did you have a nightmare?’ 

‘Yes.’ Rey didn’t want to evolve her answer. 

‘What happened Rey?’ Ben was concerned. 

‘There was a dark side version of me in a cave on a planet I didn’t recognise. She kept killing people and then you, Finn and Poe came in. Except no one was themselves. It was like you weren’t in control but you can resist a Jedi mind trick.’ Rey explained. ‘The dark version of myself said I had to kill you three or turn to the dark side. I didn’t choose either. I found another way. I used force lightning to bring the ceiling down which killed everyone. But I found an area of grey and I used a dark side power without using the dark side. It doesn’t make sense but I can do it.’

‘Rey, I believe you. Don’t worry about the dream we can talk about it tomorrow if you want.’ Rey nodded and Ben went back to his own bed.

‘Ben?’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘Can you stay with me please?’ Rey asked. She knew she was pushing it but she didn’t want to be by herself.

‘Yes, of course Rey.’ Ben smiled and Rey scuttled over to leave room for Ben. It was snug but they were both comfortable. Ben wrapped his arms around Rey and she snuggled closer. They both drifted asleep easily next to each other. The sleep was without unrest thankfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I plan to update once a week on Tuesday. Thank you for all your support and leave comments and suggestions below if you wish :)


	10. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey finally get a chance to talk and train together. How will it go?

When Rey awoke, she was thankfully not on an unknown planet; she was in her bed- in the arms of Ben. Rey had forgotten he was there. The dream had shaken her and she just couldn’t stand to be alone. It’s not that she regretted asking him, it was that Ben may have not wanted to share a bed. Or, Rey could be completely overthinking the whole situation and maybe Ben wants her. This was the most unlikely theory but Rey had to be positive.

She turned around to face Ben and found that he was still asleep. He looked peaceful so Rey didn’t wake him. Instead, she analysed every little detail on his face. If he was ever going to leave her again Rey wanted to remember what he looked like.

‘I’m not leaving you.’ Ben whispered with his voice full of sleep. Rey nodded but Ben still had his eyes closed. So, she told him through the bond.

_Okay, Ben._

_You won’t leave me, right?_

_Of course not._

Both Rey and Ben had been hurt too many times. They were so damaged and broken but now they had each other to help them get stronger together. The galaxy was cruel and unkind but maybe they could help make it a better place.

Rey needed to get up and move but was a struggle due to Ben being in the way. He sniggered and didn’t move. Rey realised her thoughts were probably too loud again.

‘Rey, I don’t mind hearing your thoughts. It’s nice.’ Ben stated.

‘That’s lovely but can you please get out of bed so I can have a shower.’ Rey threw a pillow at him to get him to move. Ben propped himself up on his elbows and his hair fell in front of his eyes as he did. Rey reached and tucked the strands covering his eyes behind his ears but Ben immediately put them back. Rey frowned but Ben just lay back down on the bed and looked as if he was examining the ceiling.

‘Ben?’ Rey asked gently. Clearly, there was something up and whether she had done something he hadn’t wanted her to do was questionable.

‘No Rey. You’ve done nothing wrong.’ Ben assured her and he turned his head to look at her.

‘Then what is it?’ Rey rubbed his arm affectionately and he looked at his arm for a moment but he didn’t say anything.

‘It’s my ears. The other kids at the Jedi academy used to tease me for them. So, I grew my hair longer to hide them.’ Ben was obviously not very happy about sharing this but she was glad he did. Rey made a bold move and climbed on top of him so she lay on his stomach. Then she tucked Ben’s hair behind his ears. He definitely wanted to protest but Rey just smiled at him.

Unexpectedly, Ben kissed Rey’s forehead. Ben smiled too and they just sat there for a minute looking at each other.

‘Why do you even need a shower? You had one last night?’ Ben asked.

‘Showers were a luxury on Jakku. I like to make the most of them now.’ It was sad that people took things like that for granted but Rey would never want anyone to experience what she went through.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t think of that.’ Ben apologised.

‘It’s okay. I just think people these days take things for granted.’ Rey didn’t want to get into her childhood on Jakku; she’d rather not relive it.

‘That’s fine, Rey.’ Rey rolled her eyes presuming Ben heard her thoughts again.

‘How come I can’t hear your thoughts?’ Ben sighed.

‘I just automatically hide mine. I’m trying not to but it’ll take time.’ Ben assured. He just looked at Rey for a moment and then Rey heard his thoughts. Ben was thinking about the throne room. How he deliberately cleared his mind as Snoke tried to look at it.

‘He probed your mind?’ Rey asked. She knew Snoke was cruel as she had been tortured by him herself.

‘Yeah, he wasn’t a nice guy. So, I got my revenge.’

‘Ben Solo, that is not very Jedi of you.’ Rey mocked.

‘To be honest, I like your idea of that grey area. We just need to explore it.’ Ben suggested.

‘Together.’

‘Together.’ Ben repeated. He leant forward and kissed Rey on her forehead again. ‘I want to train today.’ Ben stated. Rey nodded and she climbed off him and headed into the shower.

By the time Rey had got out, Ben was already changed into a black jumper and trousers. She was just in a towel and Ben muttered some excuse to go into the bathroom leaving Rey alone in the room. After getting changed she put her hair up in three buns but then decided she didn’t like it. She took them all out but left the top two bands in so it was the same as when she went to the throne room with Ben.

‘I like your hair like that.’ Rey turned and Ben was leaning on the doorway. She smiled at him put her little boots on before leaving to go to breakfast. Rey wasn’t entirely sure still how to respond to compliments. ‘Rey, it’s fine don’t worry about it.’ She just nodded as Ben smiled at her.

Ben and Rey sat on their own table whilst they ate breakfast. Ben had told Rey multiple times that if she wanted to go and join Finn and Poe, she could but Rey insisted she’d rather stay with him. Finn and Poe occasionally looked over at them and Rey grinned at them.

After breakfast, Rey collected her lightsaber and Ben followed her through the thick leaves into an open space which was pretty much perfect for training. Rey sat down on the dry mud that was littered with fallen leaves that had fluttered down from the trees above. Ben sat opposite Rey and crossed her legs like she did.

‘What are we doing first?’ Ben asked. He was very happy just to go along with what Rey did as it was her training sessions he was interrupting.

‘Ben you’re not interrupting it.’ Rey spoke before she realised what she had done. She had heard his thoughts unintentionally. Ben opened his mouth in surprise. ‘Ben, that’s amazing!’ Rey praised him. She knew how difficult it was for him to not hide his thoughts on purpose but this time he had revealed them naturally without him realising.

Rey got up and hugged Ben who sat a few feet away. He was warm and smelt amazing even though they both had been using the same brand of Resistance-issued soap. It was unique to him and Rey loved it. If Ben heard the thought, he didn’t say anything.

Eventually, Ben let Rey go and they both stood up. They looked at each other for a moment before Rey ignited her lightsaber and twirled it around just to mess with Ben. He flinched as she ignited it unaware of what she was doing. Immediately, Rey stopped twirling it, flicked it off and dropped it.

Ben stood there looking at the ground and Rey. He didn’t move or look up at her. Rey ran over to him and lifted his chin so he met her eyes. She was going to speak until Ben did first.

‘Rey, I’m so sorry.’ Ben apologised.

‘Ben, you have nothing to apologise for.’ Rey knew Snoke had plagued him since he could walk. But she never thought it would be on a physical scale- clearly, she was wrong. ‘Ben, look at me. He’s gone, he’s dead. He can’t hurt you.’

‘He was meant to be dead last time but he wasn’t.’ Ben croaked. He wasn’t crying but he was on the verge on tears. Rey sighed. They both had a lot of healing to do but they would get through it because they had each other.

‘Ben, I promise you, he is dead. I literally obliterated him to pieces. There’s not possible way that he moved bodies or has any essence anywhere because it would have gone into me…’ Rey trailed off and the thought made her stomach twist. Was Palpatine possessing her?

‘Rey. No. You literally radiate light. He’s gone. He won’t hurt you either.’ Ben assured Rey and she nodded in response. ‘So, you want to talk about that dream last night?’ Ben asked.

‘You have literally been manipulated by my Grandfather and Snoke your entire life but you want to talk about me and check if I’m okay?’

‘Yeah, I guess I do.’ Ben looked at Rey and she was trying to think of where to start but Ben interrupted her before she could begin. ‘Snoke and your Grandfather are the same.’

‘What?!’ Rey exclaimed. ‘How?’

‘I’m not exactly sure. Palpatine said he made Snoke. So, whether he controlled him or just created him I’m not sure.’

‘So, who created the dyad?’ Rey could think of no other person she would want to share a dyad with. Finn and Poe were very close to her but they were her friends. She had something different with Ben.

‘I don’t think Snoke or Palpatine did. Palpatine wasn’t aware that we were a dyad until I came to you on Exegol.’ Ben smiled at the thought. ‘Snoke claimed to but he didn’t know we tapped into each other’s mind when I um…’

‘Kidnapped me?’ It was a lot easier for Rey to say it then Ben. ‘Ben, it’s fine. It happened. I beat your ass.’ Ben managed a laugh. ‘Right, come on. Let’s get some training done.’

‘What are we doing first then Master Rey?’ Ben kept a straight face but Rey couldn’t. She burst into laughter.

‘Don’t call me Master.’ Rey poked Ben playfully in the chest. He responded by sticking his hand out which prompted a branch to break off a tree and fly into his hand. Ben didn’t have a lightsaber so a branch would have to be sufficient. However, it wouldn’t be any use in defence once Rey ignited her yellow lightsaber.

‘Since when do you have a lightsaber?’ Ben asked. He still wielded his useless brown stick that would be incinerated with the tiniest bit of contact with Rey’s golden blade.

‘You trying to dodge a fight?’ Rey asked and Ben sniggered. ‘I didn’t finish it in time for Exegol. So, I finished it when I got back. I expected it to be blue but instead it’s yellow.’ Rey admitted.

‘Yellow is still for Jedi. The Jedi Sentinel had yellow blades. They used non-force powers as well as their force powers. They tended to be level-headed and think of more logical solutions than running straight into battle.’

‘I don’t know how I got yellow then.’

‘The Force is never wrong- trust me. I mean you need to work on your logical solutions a bit.’ Rey gasped and pretended to be offended. She already knew she was far too irrational. ‘Rey, you went to Exegol without a plan and just two lightsabers.’

‘Yeah, and you followed me.’ Ben sighed. Rey was right. He had done that.

‘Yes, because I wanted to save you.’ Ben shouted. Rey had an idea that was why he came but never thought it was the actual reason. The first dream after Exegol gave her an insight of that though she didn’t actually believe it.

‘What?’ Rey said softly. She didn’t really know what to say. All this time, she thought he was just coming to get revenge on Palpatine and help her in the process.

‘Rey, I flew in a TIE with only a blaster to come and save you.’ Ben explained.

‘You didn’t come to kill Palpatine?’

‘What? No, I came to save you from him but you didn’t really need my help; you killed him all by yourself- with some old Jedi Master’s power.’ Rey didn’t know how Ben knew but she had died after that so he may have been there or not. There were more important questions to answer for now. ‘You really thought I came to kill Palpatine?’

‘I had hoped you came for me. But no one has does anything like that before; it’s usually me putting my life on the line for others.’

‘Did the kiss not mean anything then?’

‘What, of course it did. It meant everything. Do you know how long I waited for that to happen?’ Rey had already said the last sentence before she had actually realised what she said.

‘Rey, it’s okay. I wanted to kiss you too.’ Ben stepped close to Rey- close enough for her to feel his breath. She had almost forgotten she was about to beat him in a duel.

Rey pushed Ben to the floor playfully with a little aid from the force as she would never be able to push him over by himself. To show she was serious, Rey flicked her lightsaber on but Ben just chuckled. He didn’t even bother calling for the branch as it wouldn’t be any use.

Of course, neither of them were going to cause any damage to each other but Rey definitely wanted to impress Ben with her improved skills. Her last fight against him almost ended in her death. He wouldn’t have actually killed her, right?

‘Ben, you wouldn’t have actually killed me on Kef Bir, would you?’ Rey asked. She didn’t necessarily want to know the answer but she had to ask.

‘I don’t know Rey. I was so conflicted between doing what Palpatine told me to. Trying to get you to turn and I think I just forgot who you were and how much you meant to me.’ Ben admitted. Rey could tell it was an honest answer and she was thankful for that.

‘Thank you, Ben. I apologise for stabbing you with your own lightsaber.’ Rey said. Although they were having a conversation, Rey still stood her ground ready for a fight. She knew she had the advantage over Ben and he would battle defensively because he was at the disadvantage.

‘I deserved it.’ There was a pause. ‘Rey, did you mean what you said afterwards?’ Rey saw no point in not being honest so she was.

‘Yes, Ben, I did.’ Ben swallowed and nodded. Rey didn’t know whether he would he say anything else. She understood why he asked the question. All his life people feared him and pushed him away but Rey was the first person to see Ben for who he was. She knew no one else saw him this way but, in a way, that was better. Not many would understand him or even give him the chance to. It was definitely special, what Ben and Rey had. As her Grandfather had noted, a dyad had been “unseen for generations.” Thinking of him, sent a shiver down her spine.

‘Rey, are you okay?’ Ben must have sensed or seen Rey’s distress at the thought of her Grandfather. Rey had only seen her Grandfather once which she was only with him for a few hours. Ben had been tortured by him his entire life and he was trying to make sure whether she was okay. It wasn’t right.

On purpose, Rey had thought loudly so Ben heard them. She knew that he had heard them when he winced. Rey hadn’t intended that to happen.

‘Ben, I didn’t mean to...’ Rey didn’t get to finish her sentence because Ben waved a hand indicating he didn’t want her to. He called for the stick he had abandoned and stood ready. Rey took this as an implication that Ben wanted to change the subject.

Rey struck multiple times and Ben dodged by ducking and rolling in another direction to Rey’s strike. They may have just been playfighting but Rey wouldn’t lose. Especially because she had a weapon and therefore no excuse to lose. Other than the fact that Ben had over a decade of training in his arsenal but she had that now as well.

Many times, Rey lost focus while looking at Ben. The way the waves in his hair moved in perfect synchronization like ballet dancers performing with his movement. Or how they managed to stay intact with all the dodging and diving Ben did to avoid Rey’s saber.

No matter how hard she tried, Rey couldn’t seem to get anywhere close to Ben. He was too fast- too agile. Rey certainly didn’t want to hurt him but she wanted to win. The more she tried the more frustrated she got. Ben didn’t tire or give up it seemed. He continued eluding Rey’s saber.

It got to a point where anger was slowly building up inside Rey. She knew it was growing like poison ivy inside of her and it began to consume her. Rey’s slashes became more wild and violent but she couldn’t stop herself. The darkness had taken over.

Ben began to get out of breath and she could hear his laboured breathing but she couldn’t stop. Rey would have said she wasn’t controlling it but she was. She had let the darkness take over her once again.

It wasn’t until Ben cried out in pain that she snapped out of it. She turned the saber off and dropped it before kneeling down to look at Ben who sat holding his arm.

‘Ben, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.’ Rey knew it was pathetic. She knew exactly what happened and didn’t stop it. The darkness won again and the man who had only just returned to her sat with a gash in his arm because of her.

‘Rey, it’s fine.’ Ben said. It wasn’t fine though. Once again, someone got hurt because of her. That had to stop.

‘Wait here, I’ll go get a bacta pad.’ Rey told Ben.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ben lay back and put his head on the ground. There was a dull ache in his arm but it didn’t bother him. Pain was something Ben had become accustomed to over the 30 years of his life, both emotional and physical. But what he felt now, was different. He felt guilty because Rey was never like this before the forcebond or before he even met her. If he had let his curiosity go, she would never have been brought into this. Or maybe Finn would have brought her into it.

Either way, Ben believed it was his fault that Rey was suffering with this darkness. Poe and Lando had warned him about it but he refused to believe them. Rey was the furthest anyone could be to the light yet she had a lot of darkness. Partly, may be because of her genes but Ben knew more than anyone your genes don’t force you to make bad decisions.

Ben wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He definitely wouldn’t let Rey fall to the dark side because he wouldn’t be able to fight her. Ben had spent years studying the force and people falling to the dark side but not once had he come across someone who had turned back to the light and lived- other than him. As well, a lot of death and destruction usually occurred when someone force sensitive was changing sides. His Grandfather’s fall was part of Palpatine’s big plan to start a Galactic Empire. Ben’s fall was part of Palpatine’s second big plan for galactic domination- neither succeeded.

Love ultimately brought him back. His Mother, Father and Uncle had all died trying to save him and eventually he did turn. Although they all died, Ben had one thing left living for- Rey. If she fell, Ben didn’t know what he would do.

‘Ben, sit up.’ An out of breath Rey appeared and instructed Ben while opening the pack. ‘Um, you might have to take your top off unless you want me to rip the shirt a bit more.’

‘It’s already ripped just rip it a bit more.’ Ben said. He didn’t really care but he knew Rey would throw a fit if he didn’t listen to her. ‘Wait, don’t do it over my top because the bacta pack will be alright to stay on overnight so put it under the top and put the bandage over.’

Rey gave him a look but then nodded. She opened the bacta pack while Ben took his top off. Rey had gone very red all of a sudden. ‘Rey, you’ve seen me shirtless once already.’ Ben was trying to reassure Rey but the look he gave her told him that he probably shouldn’t have said that.

Unnervingly, Rey seemed to be very good at bandaging it. She did as Ben suggested by putting the bacta pack on the skin; then putting the bandage to secure it in place over the top of the shirt after Ben had put it back on. Rey must have had a lot of practice.

‘Ben, I heard that and yeah I have. I scavenged the star destroyer for years and I often fell or cut myself on something sharp.’ Ben was glad that he had voiced his thoughts again without realising but was sad because of the life Rey had lived. He couldn’t imagine being in the desert only having sand for company. ‘Ben, it’s the past. Leave it. Or no, what did you say? “Let the past die, kill it if you have to.”’ Rey put on her best deep voice as she mocked Ben. He couldn’t resist laughing.

Rey finished bandaging Ben’s arm and put the spare bandages aside. ‘We match now. I have a cut on my left upper arm from a Praetorian guard and you have one from me.’ Rey trailed off at the end but Ben lifted her chin to look make her look at him. His eyes flitted between her lips and her eyes.

‘Um hey guys.’ Poe emerged from the flora interrupting Ben and Rey’s moment. Ben cursed under his breath and stood up. ‘I can come back later if now’s bad timing?’

‘Just say what you got to say Dameron.’ Ben was cold towards him and he had a reason to be. He was just about to kiss Rey and he walked in. His inhospitable response awarded him with a prod from Rey.

‘I wanted to talk to you about your Mother.’ Poe was clearly talking to Ben rather than Rey as he could have said it a million ways nicer but Ben wasn’t going to complain. ‘I’ve been putting it off for weeks now but I wanted to have a funeral for her. I could never get round to actually organising anything because I didn’t want to admit she was dead.’ Poe was showing vulnerability but Ben wasn’t going to show any back.

‘Poe, that’s a lovely idea. What can we do?’ Rey broke the silence with her sweet voice that calmed everyone down.

‘Well, I have been planning it all day with Finn,’ Ben tensed. They had been planning HIS Mother’s funeral and only thought of telling him now? Rey rubbed Ben’s arm in a soothing gesture. ‘I wanted to have it tomorrow and I was going to offer Ben a chance to speak.’ Ben glared at him. Some guy was OFFERING Ben a chance to speak at HIS Mother’s funeral.

‘Yeah sure.’ Ben didn’t want to say anymore in fear of upsetting Rey. He needed to have a chat with this Dameron guy as it seemed he needed reminding who Ben actually was. He relaxed slightly when he left which meant him and Rey were alone again.

‘Ben, what do you want to do?’ Rey asked carefully. Ben wasn’t entirely sure whether he wanted to cry or destroy stuff. No, destroying stuff was Kylo Ren- he died. ‘Do you want to train?’ Ben nodded.

Rey and Ben trained for the rest of the day. Ben taught Rey combat moves and Rey showed him her training course. They climbed trees, jumped ravines, tossed lightsabers to each other and by the time the sun was setting, they were both worn out.

After dinner, they took a walk away from the base and into the forest. It was almost dark but they found a log to sit on and sat listening to the birds.

‘You’re really quiet Ben.’ Rey noted.

‘I never spent much time with my Mother. She was always working for the Senate. The same with my Dad. I haven’t spoken to her since the day they gave me to Luke.’ Ben was being brutally honest. He had a speech to give tomorrow and he didn’t know what to say.

‘Ben, your Mum was the kindest person in the galaxy but also the strongest. I don’t know much but I know she has been through a lot. Leia trained me knowing I was a Palpatine and didn’t have to. I know she was fearful because you had turned to the dark side but she never showed it. Leia lost everyone but still lead the Resistance. Her resilience was so admirable and she was like a Mother to me.’

‘Thank you, Rey.’ Ben wasn’t entirely sure what he would say still. After Rey asked how he got back to her and he explained everything that happened between when she left him on Kef Bir to his arrival on Ajan Kloss.

It got dark so they both walked back to their room and got into their own bed and fell asleep. Ben was not looking forward to the next day but maybe it would give him the closure he so desperately wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading and leave comments, suggestions or anything else below :)


	11. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Leia's funeral which the Resistance has been waiting for. Will Ben get through it okay?

Getting up seemed like a good idea to Ben but the warmth and cosiness of the bed was so inviting Ben couldn’t leave. It was a Resistance issued bed so it wasn’t as comfortable as the one he had in his quarters on the Steadfast but he’d rather be with Rey than in a comfier bed. Across the room, Rey was still fast asleep; Ben wondered whether he should wake her but he didn’t know whether she would be mad if he did.

Instead, Ben took a shower and found Rey awake and dressed by the time he got out. She was wearing the black attire required for a funeral but he vaguely recognised the dress. Rey would never have worn black other than an occasion like this so he didn’t know where he’d seen it.

The dress of course looked phenomenal on Rey. He looked her up and down several times completely forgetting he was standing there just in a towel. Ben didn’t care that he was probably there with his mouth wide open. Rey needed to know how amazing she looked in that dress.

The dress itself was long and almost down to Rey’s ankles. The bottom half of the dress was a sleek, soft material than flowed gracefully towards the floor. If Rey was any shorter the ends would have daintily brushed the floor when she walked. This bottom half was plain and nothing compared to the top. It was long-sleeved which wasn’t necessarily suitable for the rainforest but Rey didn’t seem bothered about it. Unlike the rest of the gown, the sleeves were a sheer colour making it seem like there weren’t sleeves at all. However, there were black flowers weaved on from the wrist all the way up her arms and across her chest. They became closer together and more frequent the closer it got to the chest area. Barely any skin was exposed other than on Rey’s arms so it wasn’t inappropriate to wear.

‘Ben?’ Rey nervously asked and he realised he had been staring for too long.

‘Where did you get that dress?’

‘Um, Poe dropped it round a few minutes ago. I don’t have any black clothes so he asked if I wanted to wear this.’ Rey confessed. She seemed slightly embarrassed and was treading cautiously around Ben but he didn’t know why.

‘Whose dress is it?’

‘Leia’s.’ Rey looked at Ben to see how he would react and he didn’t know how to react. He knew he recognised it and it didn’t bother him that Rey was wearing it because she looked stunning. It was the fact that Poe thought he could delegate his Mother’s clothing around like that. Clearly, they needed to have a word. ‘Ben? What do you think? Should I give it back?’

‘What? No, of course not Rey.’ Ben assured her. He went and sat down on his bed.

‘Then what is it?’ Rey could definitely sense something was up with Ben and he wasn’t about to admit that he was annoyed about Poe. The last thing he needed was drama today.

‘Rey you look unbelievable in that dress.’ Ben said. He was quietly trying to hide the thought about Poe from Rey but letting her hear all the others. It wasn’t fair that he was doing it but he would tell Rey later.

She definitely looked overdressed for a funeral like this but when was his Mother not overdressed. Leia always managed to outdo everyone even when she was wearing the simplest thing- she was a Princess after all. ‘Come on, let’s get some breakfast.’

Ben didn’t have much of an appetite but tried to eat because he didn’t like the concerned look Rey kept giving him. Rey however, devoured her meal as usual.

The entire Resistance was dresses in black. Some were only in t-shirts and trousers whereas others were in suits. Ben, of course, was wearing a completely black suit which was abnormal for him. What was abnormal though, was the lack of laughter and chatter in the hall. Ben presumed the entire Resistance was invited but because of the short notice there would be few others from off-planet.

After finishing, they left the food hall and went outside to join Finn and Poe. Even though there was not much notice, the area was still intensely decorated. It was very elegant and beautiful with black flowers hanging from baskets in trees with ribbons attached that rippled softly when a breeze passed.

The chairs would have been ordinary if they didn’t have a black sash around them. There was a podium up at the top and a large photo of Leia herself. He had seen her on the bridge of the ship when he decided not to kill her and when she force projected herself to him. Though he hadn’t seen her properly or take the time to actually think about her. The memories he had about her that weren’t filled with rage or hurt were ones when she was a lot younger. When Ben was a lot younger. His Mother had grown older where wrinkles started to appear and her hair turned to silver but after all that time, she still tried to save him.

‘Ben, she loved you.’ Rey reminded him and he nodded. She did and he never got the chance to say it back. Rey gently rubbed his arm and then slid her fingers down into his hand and held it. Ben obliged and held her hand back.

‘You guys up for today?’ Finn asked. Rey nodded and Ben didn’t look at either of them. He focused on the ground instead. Poe seemed to have the same idea as Ben and it made the air thick with tension.

‘What’s the plan?’ Rey asked. She was referring to when Ben had to do his speech.

‘Well, Poe was going to go first, then Ben, then Lando. Chewie decided not to do one because a lot of people here still can’t understand Shyriiwook so Lando incorporated a bit of what Chewie wanted to say into it.’

‘That’s a nice idea. Where are we sitting?’

‘You and Ben are in the front on the left with Lando and Chewie. Poe, two other Lieutenants and I are on the right.’ Rey smiled and then led Ben to their seats. Slowly, the chairs became occupied and left no standing room. Rey frequently checked on Ben through the bond but his responses were short and blunt.

Eventually, the event started with Poe standing up at the front and he began his speech

‘Thank you everyone for being here. General Leia Organa passed away and became one with the force shortly after. She died a few weeks ago. However, I could never muster up the strength to organise this funeral. Leia’s impact on the galaxy was remarkable and she literally is the definition of hope.

Leia grew up on Alderaan as a Princess where she broke the boundaries of being just royalty. She was part of the Rebel Alliance and secretly helped them on many occasions along with her adoptive Father Bail Organa.

When she was 19, Leia was entrusted with the Death Star plans to be delivered to Obi Wan Kenobi, however she was captured by Vader and gave them to a droid who found Ben Kenobi. Along with Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewie they rescued the Princess from the Death Star having found the remains of Alderaan. Together, they took the plans to the Rebel base and the Rebels successfully destroyed the Death Star.

She continued to be vital to the Rebels and aided them on many missions with her presence. Leia was there on Endor and was part of the team that blew up the shield of the second Death Star.

After the galaxy was free from the Empire, the General was part of the New Republic but after many complications, Leia left and founded the Resistance to eradicate the First Order and restore peace. We have yet to finish what Leia started but I promise you that will be done.

Leia believed in me more than I did myself. I wouldn’t be leading the Resistance like this if it wasn’t for Leia teaching me how to. I know we probably each have a special story about Leia how she each individually helped us find ourselves. That’s the kind of person she was. Loving, kind, caring. She showed us that our past didn’t define us, that it didn’t reflect who we are as people. Leia showed us that we were capable of anything. That as long as we had hope, we had a chance.

She will be deeply missed but never forgotten. Her influence on everyone here and everyone in the galaxy is too large to be erased.’ Poe finished. He stepped down from the stand and sat back in his seat. All the eyes were on Ben now and he still didn’t know what to say. Would people be willing to listen because he was the cause of her death?

Ben stepped up to the front and looked at everyone there- which seemed to be a lot of people. All the chairs were filled and there was still lots of people standing around the edge. Many of them weren’t in Resistance gear indicating that they were from elsewhere in the galaxy.

‘Um hi. I’m Ben Solo. Son of Leia Skywalker Organa Solo. Yes, you shouldn’t be surprised about the length of her name. I didn’t spend much time with her really. I was sent to Luke’s Jedi Academy at the age of 10 and I don’t remember much before it.

Leia wasn’t around much because of her hard work and dedication to the New Republic. She constantly worked trying to mend the galaxy. The long hours she worked must have been unbearable especially surrounded by politicians but she didn’t complain. She was so set on creating peace that she put that first over everything.

On top of that, Leia was always dressed incredibly. She won that race even before it started. Even when she came home in the evenings, her hair was intact and her dress was still sparkling. Now, I’m a man who wears black most of the time so I’m not exactly a fashion expert but everything Leia wore matched. If it didn’t match it would contrast and it would do so beautifully.

I know everyone wants to know how she died and why she became one with the force later on. Like Luke, she force projected herself across the galaxy to me because I was about to kill Rey. She saved Rey and turned me at the same time. Leia died because she was trying to save two people. One from another and one from himself. She saved both of them.

I died on Exegol. I force healed Rey which involves giving my life essence to her and it required all of it. Rey used so much strength to destroy Palpatine it killed her. I saved her but then died myself.

Leia was dead but she hadn’t become one with the force. She managed to save me by giving the rest of her life essence to me. I returned from the dead while Leia has now become one with the force. It’s difficult to understand and I’m not entirely sure if I understand it either.

She lost her adoptive parents, real parents, her home planet, husband, son, and her brother left her but not once did she even consider turning to the dark side. I made a lot of mistakes but I know my Mum still loved me. After everything…’ Ben paused. Beyond the masses of mourners, he saw his Mother. He didn’t hesitate; he leaped off the stage and pushed through the crowd to the edge of the tree line where he thought he saw her. After not finding her, he continued into the forest calling for his Mother.

‘Ben!’ Thinking it was his Mother, he turned agilely but instead it was Rey. She looked concerned. Her hair was falling out after running to catch up with Ben.

‘I saw her Rey. I saw my Mother, I swear it.’ Rey hugged him tight. She was so tiny and fragile he was worried he would break her. Tears seeped out his eyes and he just couldn’t stop them.

‘I don’t doubt that Ben.’ Rey said it so gently he could melt into her arms. He was shaken up. That was the last thing he thought he would have seen. It was possible that she was a force ghost as he knew she had training. But why did she appear to him then disappear.

Ben didn’t want to return but he had to. It was his Mother’s funeral; he couldn’t miss it. As much as he wanted to hide away it wasn’t right. Though, he stayed in amongst the trees with Rey for a while. By the time he got back, the funeral had finished and the chairs and platform had been moves aside to allow tables bejewelled with many kinds of food. Some were native to Alderaan while others were some of Leia’s favourite.

Rey wanted to sit with Finn and Poe but Ben didn’t reject the offer. She knew Leia had trained her as well for a year and was the only other person in the Resistance to understand her force power so she was grieving like everyone else. It would just have to be one of those things that Ben would have to go through alone.

_Don’t say that. I’m here._

_Okay._

Ben struggled getting through the endless dinner and just wanted to leave. Rey began to sense it.

_Do you want to go for a walk?_

_Yes please_

Rey made eye contact with Ben and conjured up some excuse which she babbled to Finn and Poe who Ben ignored the entire time. They left and headed for the trees. It probably looked very weird disappearing into the forest but Ben didn’t care about other people’s opinions- only Rey’s.

They walked until they found a fallen log. Rey daintily sat down not wanting to crease or ruin the dress. Her buns were half falling out so she just pulled the remainder out leaving it resting on her shoulders. She looked beautiful and the best part was, she wasn’t even trying.

‘Ben?’ He was so lost in staring at her, he didn’t notice the excessive length of time he was doing it for.

‘I’m fine.’ He shrugged off Rey. Ben wasn’t good with feelings. He usually shut everyone out or he would just explode into a rage of anger.

‘You’re not. Talk to me.’

‘I’m upset.’ Ben was terrible was it came to emotions. He didn’t know how to deal with them let alone talk about them. But Rey was being patient and he knew if he couldn’t talk to her, he wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone about them. ‘My Mother died trying to save me. She gave up her life so I could live again.’

‘Ben, she had a choice. No one forced her to do anything. She chose to do it. Because she loved you.’ Rey said it with such certainty that he was almost convinced she was right. He still couldn’t help feel like it was his fault. ‘It’s not your fault.’

‘I feel like everyone knew my Mother better than I did.’ Ben confessed. He was crying again. He couldn’t help it. There were too many emotions to deal with right now.

‘I know you didn’t have the best relationship with Leia but that didn’t change anything. She trained me knowing who I was. Leia knew I was a Palpatine and trained me. Every day I reminded her of you and how if she failed, I would turn. She never stopped thinking about you. It pained her knowing that she could never get her son back but she had a second chance training me. Leia loved you, Ben.’

‘Really?’ He never thought he meant that much to her. Even after killing his Father, almost killing her as well as killing too many others.

‘Yes, your Mother didn’t know about Palpatine in your head until it was far too late and she wished she’d have known sooner.’ Ben nodded. It was a lot of information.

‘Jump on my back.’ Ben commanded.

‘What?’ Rey was startled because it came out of nowhere.

‘Do you trust me?’

‘Of course.’ Rey proceeded to jump on Ben’s back and he jumped onto the tree next to them. ‘Ben! I can climb a tree by myself.’ Ben knew this of course.

‘You can’t in that dress though.’ He knew he was right and carried on grabbing branches to pull himself and Rey up. Ben was impressed with himself. He was in a suit which didn’t allow a large range of movement.

When they reached the top of the tree, Ben conveniently found a large branch where they could sit comfortably.

‘What are we doing up here?’ Rey questioned softly.

‘When I was younger, my parents tended to argue a lot over me. They were scared of my growing darkness and they had reason to be. Our house had a garden on top of it- which was quite rare for Hanna City. At night, I used to sneak up there, look at the stars and imagine travelling around the galaxy from planet to planet with someone special.’ Ben knew exactly who he wanted that special person to be and whether she was aware of it or not.

‘I was the same. If I couldn’t sleep at night, I would leave the AT-AT and go outside. It would generally always be a clear night so I could see the stars. I imagined my parents coming back to get me but I don’t know why I thought they would come back.’

‘Rey, you were a child. It was okay to have hope.’ Ben assured. He wanted to ask Rey to explore the galaxy with him. After all, she did say she would have taken Ben’s hand. It was his Mother’s funeral and it seemed inappropriate but surely his Mother just wanted to be happy? ‘Rey, after all this is done and peace is restored, would you want to join me in exploring the galaxy?’ It was a risky question but Ben so no point in not asking.

‘Ben.’ Rey paused for a moment slightly taken aback by Ben’s frontal approach. Though from previous experiences, she shouldn’t have been. ‘I would love that.’ Ben would have moved over and hugged her but they were in a tree.

For the rest of the night, Ben explained which systems were which and what was in them until Rey fell asleep. She looked peaceful but of course she couldn’t sleep in a tree all night. Ben had to figure out how to get them both down in one piece. There was a tree to the left which was in jumping distance, and with aid from the force, Ben could get there and then jump down.

He picked up Rey the same way he did when he first met her and leaped down then down again. It was easy enough and Rey thankfully stayed asleep the whole time. Ben didn’t know how she would react to him holding her like this.

It wasn’t hard to find the base although the lack of light made it harder. The base was quiet and lifeless so Ben presumed the funeral had finished and everyone had gone to bed. He went to their room and placed Rey carefully on her bed then pulled the covers over her.

‘Stay with me?’ Rey requested. Ben had walked halfway across the room to his bed but stopped.

‘You sure?’ Ben asked.

‘Yes, I’m cold. Come warm me up with your big arms.’ Ben could do nothing but smile at that. Rey was his weakness; he would do anything for her.

She shuffled over and Ben got in. He was still in his suit and couldn’t find the effort to change. He was hoping he wouldn’t need the suit again in the near future, or ever.

Rey was freezing like she said. He didn’t realise and felt terrible for not noticing.

‘Will you stop thinking and go to sleep?’ Rey instructed and Ben did just that. It was funny really. The ex-Supreme Leader was in love with an ex-scavenger. Ben just hoped Rey was already asleep and didn’t hear the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing well! I really struggled to write this chapter. I just couldn't seem to portray the emotions how I wanted. Thank you all for reading <3


	12. Circular

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben encounters some hurdles which he has to step over. Will he manage to get over them or will he leave?

Poe was annoying. Not just annoying but infuriating. Ben could almost explode at him right now. He was just so obnoxious and unaware of who Ben actually is but maybe he was doing it on purpose to wind him up.

Ben, Rey, Poe and Finn had congregated in Leia’s quarters which they attempted to clean out and distribute her belongings. Poe was trying to take charge and control the situation while they sorted his Mother’s possessions. Ben didn’t say anything as he was trying to keep it neutral but it was getting to the point where he could no longer bear to hear Poe’s voice.

Finn found and showed everyone Leia’s hairbrush which was the same one she had when Ben was a child. ‘There’s no point in keeping that.’ Poe said but Ben could not let that happen.

‘What? No!’ Ben snatched the hairbrush off Finn who looked slightly alarmed at Ben’s protective notion.

‘Why do you want it?’ Finn asked hostilely.

‘This hairbrush is the one Leia used since she was a child. You see this wood? That’s from a tree that no longer exists because they were all blown up on Alderaan.’ Ben was pretty much shouting it. How were they so inconsiderate and ignorant? Obviously, Ben was not including Rey in this but Poe claimed to know his Mum the best when he actually didn’t.

‘Okay, Finn, put it in the keep pile.’ Poe was still taking control of the situation but Ben left it as Rey kept throwing a “be nice” look everytime he looked over at her.

Countless items were not useful or wanted by any of the four so they were put in a pile but personal things like jewellery and tiny little trinkets from different planets that Leia always collected. His Father tended to bring her home something each time and it had worked up to be quite a collection. Ben would love hearing about each little thing and the whole story behind each one. To be honest, he could probably tell some of the stories himself but there were new ones clearly from after he left to become a Jedi.

All these little souvenirs were put in a box and in Ben’s pile. There was no way he was letting Poe have those. Ben had the biggest pile by far and rightly so. He would have been the next heir of Alderaan if it wasn’t for the Death Star.

_Ben are you okay?_

_Yeah, I’m fine._

_I can feel your anger. Do you want to take a walk?_

_Yeah sure, after we get this done._

As much as Ben wanted to get away, he wouldn’t let Poe take what he wants. The cocky pilot was adding stuff to his pile without consulting anyone else. How Rey managed to put up with him, Ben would never know.

Rey could sense the waves of anger that rippled through his body with every beat of his heart. He could feel her worry for him but he couldn’t calm himself down. It wasn’t as if he was going to burst into a fit of rage like he used to when a minor inconvenience occurred. He would only erupt if Poe tried to speak to him. His arms would be magma: destroying everything in its path and his shouting would be the thunder.

_Ben please calm down._

_I’m fine._

_I don’t think you are Ben._

‘Why don’t we stop for lunch? Then we can finish the room and do the closet afterwards?’ Rey’s proposal was just to prevent an inevitable fight. Poe and Ben were both bubbling pans of hot water ready to overspill at any moment. An argument between the two of them would happen at some point but was Rey’s tactic of delaying better or worse?

‘Yeah, let’s do that.’ Finn jumped to join the conversation not being blind to the tension in the air.

Ben stormed out the room and Rey was calling after him. He ignored her until he felt the cool jungle breeze.

‘Rey, I’m fine.’ Ben attempted to reassure Rey but failed miserably. The rage was seeping out his mouth.

‘I can literally feel your fury. You’re not fine. I get that Poe is being annoying but…’

‘No, no buts. If you’re just going to support his side then leave.’ Ben was upset and he knew he shouldn’t have said that but he didn’t feel guilty until he felt Rey’s hurt through the bond.

‘No Ben. Do you know what I was actually going to say? I was going to say but you’re Leia’s son and you think I was going to defend Poe.’ Ben tried to apologise but Rey just put up her hand. ‘I don’t want to hear it.’

Ben wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore but he still seemed to make the same mistakes he did. Thinking everyone was against him. Even the person who gave up part of her life force to him. He had to stop otherwise he would lose everyone.

He didn’t bother eating lunch and was the first one back in the room. The rest joined him minutes later and the tension resumed. It was like a barrier; it didn’t exist outside the room but it definitely did in the room.

There was minimal discussion for the rest of the afternoon until completion of Leia’s main room. Ben’s pile was far bigger than everyone else’s and there was barely any on Finn’s. Poe’s was bigger than Rey’s but she had far more important things like jewellery and other girly things.

Unsurprisingly, Leia had her own room for a wardrobe where there were silky red gown and bright green two pieces. There was no point even debating over this; it should all go to Rey. Maybe Rey’s short friend with the bubbly personality could have some but the majority should go to Rey.

‘So, I guess everyone should just pick what they want.’ Poe suggested. He was brave but stupid in Ben’s eyes.

‘Seriously?’ Rey threw him a look after he spoke. ‘Poe, just give it all to Rey. What are you going to do with it?’

‘I don’t think you’re the one making decisions here. I’m in charge and you’re very lucky to be here.’ Poe threatened. This clearly wasn’t about the dresses anymore.

‘Who exactly is Leia’s son? That would be me. If you ask me to leave, fine I will. But I am a lot more useful here after leading the entire First Order for a year.’ Finn and Rey cautiously looked at each other debating on whether they should step in but didn’t.

‘You abandoned your Mother to join the dark side.’ Poe was desperate to win and throwing incorrect facts at Ben.

‘Again, you’re wrong. My Mother never talked about me I assume. I was sent away because neither of my parents knew how to deal with my darkness. They thought they were doing what’s best for me but no, Luke tried to kill me there. Yes, it was my fault I turned to the dark side but I also had Palpatine manipulating me before I was even born.’ Ben shouted. Poe didn’t say anything for a few moments. Poe would have no valid point.

‘Don’t say she wasn’t a good Mother. I lost my parents at a young age and she cared for me like a Mother for Rey and Finn too.’ Ben couldn’t believe he was trying to challenge him. It wasn’t as if he was arrogant, it was the fact that Ben knew what happened because he was there.

‘I never said she wasn’t a good Mother. My parents were young when they had me and I guess I wasn’t planned. Leia spent every minute at the Senate trying to form the New Republic and Han was often off planet. They tried their best and with you three she had a second chance. I’m happy she got that second chance and my failure—’

‘Ben, you’re not a failure.’ Rey interjected maybe willing to forgive him. She was still mad but Ben stopped and caught his breath. He’d been shouting the whole time. Poe took that time to prove his point.

‘Do you know how bad Leia felt after you turned?’

‘Yes, yes I do. After the destruction of Starkiller base and I almost blew up the ship with my TIE, I felt her then and I could sense all her emotions. Oh, and I didn’t kill her. It was another TIE I then shot down.’

‘What?’ Poe said. It seemed he thought Ben was lying.

‘It’s true. I can’t show you but I can show Rey.’ Ben didn’t know how to get them to believe him. Rey did of course, she never doubted him but she was still mad at him.

‘Ben, it’s fine we believe you.’ Poe didn’t sound convinced at all. ‘The bond is still intact then I assume.’ This was definitely leading somewhere. ‘I don’t know what Rey did to deserve to see in your head.’ That was it. Not only did he insult Ben, he insulted Rey.

Ben lashed out. He didn’t hit Poe thankfully but pushed lots of clothes of coat hangers. Ben didn’t break anything but he could hear Rey yelling at him to stop. He did and stormed out the room. No one followed him and that was fine.

Not entirely sure where he was going, Ben just walked out the base again and continued walking through the forest. He ended up by the Falcon. The anger suddenly flushed out of him; replaced by nostalgia, sadness and hurt.

However, he walked up the ramp and explored it. Whom it belonged to know Ben didn’t know but it was in better condition than when he last saw it. It must have had a rest these last few weeks. Ben had only been on there a few weeks ago when he was on Csilla but it felt longer. He was so consumed in getting back to Rey he didn’t take the surroundings in properly.

The cockpit was the same and the beds and the kitchen. Nothing had changed apart from the fact it was cleaner and put together better. No wires were hanging out and there wasn’t fur lying around everywhere. There seemed to be no Wookie aboard either.

Ben sat down at a table and just took in the scent he longed for when he was a little boy. Han would have loved to show him around now but Ben had killed him. He obviously regretted it and he would have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life but at least his parents were together. The little boy with the worryingly big force abilities was the cause of their arguments but now they were together watching over him.

Beeps startled Ben and a droid rolled in. ‘R2?’ It clearly was. No other droid had an attitude like him. ‘What are you doing here?’ He said he wanted to show Ben something. It was a little blue projection of his Mother but it wasn’t one he’d seen before. It must have been recent.

‘Ben, years ago you used to be a bump on my belly with a fierce force presence. You glowed light. Then you grew up. I now know Snoke had been pulling the strings and twisting your mind the whole time even when you were very little and I’m so sorry we didn’t notice. We were too busy with trying to fix the galaxy but we both loved you so much. I’m not trying to make excuses but we did try our best.

You were such a joyful child and your laugh made my day. Tucking you in bed every night and you waking us up in the morning made me happy. The way you devoured every meal was so adorable. But now, those memories are so painful to remember.

I’m aware now that Snoke manipulated you from such a young age but because your Father and I were so busy working, we didn’t notice. It’s a rubbish excuse and we should have never sent you away. You were too young and all you wanted was love. Just love. We didn’t know and should have known you just wanted that.

I felt what you felt when you’re Father died. I knew he had died because of the pain I sensed in you. It can’t have been your Father’s death because he’s not force sensitive but he knew what he had to do to get you on the right path and he helped. He loved you Ben. I know you can never see him again because he hasn’t got the ability to be a force ghost but you can hear that from me.

When I felt your presence, your torment, your heartbreak, your sadness, I knew you wouldn’t kill me. You’d been so damaged by his death that I knew you couldn’t do the same again. It was the first time I’d felt you since you left for the temple. I had thought about you everyday and still do. I miss you so much and I would do anything to stop your pain and turn you.

That’s why I’m going to force project myself to save you. You have your Father’s heart and maybe if this works, you’ll return to the Resistance and finish what I started. So, if you’re seeing this, I presume Palpatine is dead and the purpose of the Resistance has almost been fulfilled.

I know it sucks that we have to fix the galaxy because of something my Father, your Grandfather did but that’s just how it is. Family is everything. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you finally finding the light and hopefully being happy and I love you so much.’

‘I love you too,’ Ben told the hologram as it faded. He was croaky and on the verge of tears. That was unexpected. At least he had that, one thing that he wouldn’t show anybody- a Mother’s confession of her love for her son.

His Mother joined the fight for freedom with a hologram and finished it with another. Both were stored in R2’s memory and both for people called Ben. It was so circular and so whole and so right. He wanted to be comforted but there was no one left apart from Rey who was still mad at him. It wasn’t likely that she heard that because she was busy with Poe and Finn. Ben knew he was just being jealous but he had no idea how she could stand them.

‘Ben?’ Rey had appeared at the doorway and Ben was so lost being angry and Poe and Finn he didn’t hear her come up the ramp.

Ben patted the seat next to him inviting her and Rey obliged. R2 beeped some excuse about work that needed doing elsewhere leaving the two force sensitives alone.

‘Who owns the Falcon now?’ Ben asked innocently. He was just trying to start a conversation.

‘Why? Are you going to claim it was your Father’s and take it off whomever?’ Rey was definitely still angry and Ben wasn’t surprised.

‘Rey, relax. Don’t let the darkness take over.’ Ben reassured.

‘What? Are you seriously having a go at me when you threw your Mother’s clothes on the floor?’ Rey screamed. She had a point.

‘Do you know how ridiculous Poe was being?’ Ben deflected.

‘He wasn’t! Poe’s in charge around here. If you don’t like that then don’t be here.’ Ouch, Rey’s words hurt Ben. Surely, she knew she was the reason he was here as well as fixing the mess his Grandfather started. ‘Oh.’ Rey had heard his thoughts and he didn’t mind.

‘Rey, I screwed up. I have to fix that mistake and Poe does not help with that. He’s acting obnoxious and unbearable.’

‘And you’re not being either of those things?’ Ben hadn’t thought about that. He probably was being both of those and was forcing Rey to pick sides.

‘Rey, I’m sorry.’ Rey gave him a look indicating he needed to try harder. ‘I’ll apologise to him tomorrow after the meeting.’ Rey shifted in her seat and began to relax.

‘I get that you’re Leia’s son and you had a difficult childhood but Poe was like a second chance the last few years. Her mistakes with you allowed her to be a mother-like figure to Poe.’ Rey inched closer and put a hand on his leg to comfort him. ‘You don’t need to be jealous.’ Ben nodded. Rey was right of course.

‘Thank you, Rey.’

‘We’ll get through this together. You, and me.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you for reading again <3
> 
> It seems Ben is having a hard time at the Resistance but I'm sure it'll get better. Rey and Ben also had their first argument since his return to the light. And I promise we will get a reylo kiss soon :)


	13. Neutral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe have another discussion. While Finn also talk to Rey. Are they still going to be friends after this?

Ben was bored. He was sat in a never-ending meeting that seemed to drag on for hours. Of course, he hadn’t been there any longer than 20 minutes but it felt a long time. Ben was just about paying attention although the details were boring him a bit.

The meeting was supposed to be about the plans to decimate the First Order but all they seemed to be talking about was food rations and the supply chain. It was a necessary discussion but a dull one. Ben didn’t usually discuss this type of stuff because he gave it to lower commanding officer. Though, he couldn’t do that now.

_It’s the past Ben, let it go._

_Okay yeah, you’re right._

Ben looked over at Rey who smiled back at him. She looked so beautiful and Ben found himself staring at her for more than he should have.

_Rey, you have a bit of breakfast round your mouth._

_Oh no, do I?_

Rey frantically wiped her face and did it rather noticeably. Except Rey had nothing there and a few of the lieutenants were looking at her in an odd way. She saw them looking over at her and Ben stifled a laugh. Rey gave a him a not very subtle glare across the table.

_That was mean._

_Oh, I know._

_Your luscious hair isn’t very wavy today._

That panicked Ben. He knew Rey was just toying with him but he had to smooth it to make sure and run his fingers through it carefully. The waves were still perfectly intact like they were meant to be. Ben stuck his tongue out at Rey who laughed at loud.

Poe stopped waffling and looked at a very red Rey who was staring at the table.

_Thanks for that Ben._

_You were the one who laughed not me._

_You made me laugh! You’re distracting me._

_Fine, I’ll stop then._

_Thank you._

Ben tried to listen to Poe but his voice was so dull. Rey was much more interesting to look at. He was half-listening to Poe in case he was asked for an opinion.

Finally, Poe changed the subject to the First Order. Something Ben could talk about. The discussion immediately turned to Ben and Poe handed over the reins because he obviously had no clue what was going on before he left.

‘As far as I know. Most of the fleet was on Exegol and presumably got destroyed. But Palpatine is smarter than that. He has been behind the First Order from the beginning. He made Snoke and everyone answered to him. I didn’t know about it until I met Palpatine. So, in terms of numbers there could be quite a few ships still. Imperial academies still exist and there are still small children being taken.’

‘Jannah is on that.’ Poe interrupted. Ben had no idea who Jannah was but it seemed like one less problem to solve.

‘Okay. I suggest we take back small systems at a time. They have no leader so they will be disorganised and therefore easy to dismantle from power. Maybe start somewhere like Kessel which has vital resources.’

‘Great idea Ben!’ Rey praised. No one else said anything. It was probably because Ben was right and no one wanted to admit that. They all still hated him but he was surprised no one had tried to kill him. He was pretty sure Hux had been conspiring with assassins about 3 times a week.

‘Yeah, that could work.’ Poe said. It was clearly reluctant and forced and others murmured in agreement. Ben grinned. He was making a good impression definitely. People would just need to warm to him. ‘We will discuss the details shortly, as soon as we get more intel on which worlds are occupied and which ones are the necessary to the remainder of the First Order.’ Poe slapped his hands on the table and everyone started getting up and eventually leaving.

People dawdled out the door and conversations began to bloom. The serious aura of the room just dropped like a leaf finally hitting the floor. Laughter and chatter filled the air. Ben sat for a moment longer than the rest because he didn’t have any reason to get up. Rey was talking to Finn and Poe so Ben didn’t want to join that discussion.

It was only a few minutes before Rey and Finn walked out the room leaving him with just Poe. Ben saw no other way than to try and have a diplomatic conversation like his Mother would do in this circumstance.

‘So, what’s up Poe?’ Ben tried to remove any awkwardness but it was inevitable. As well as awkwardness, there was anger and a hint of jealousy. There was no way to escape without a poor excuse so Ben would just have to get through this and maybe impress Rey by making friends with Poe.

‘That was a good idea you had there. You may be our most valuable asset.’ Ben smirked. Of course, it was a compliment but Poe made it sound like that was an inconvenience.

‘I’m just trying to make it up to the galaxy.’ Ben admitted.

‘See I find that hard to believe. If you look at it from my point of view you can imagine why. You go from killing an uncountable number of people and all of a sudden you want to fix it. What’s your true motive.’ Ben totally understood Poe. He was being relatively nice and not at all accusing and angry as you would expect from the two men.

‘I do understand where you’re coming from and if there’s any way to prove myself please let me know. I came back for Rey as well. She is the only thing I have left.’

‘How very touching. What is your deal with her? Have you manipulated her?’ Poe asked. He said it calmly as if he was just trying to find out the truth. Not attempting to trip up Ben into saying something.

‘Well you know we’re a dyad. Not entirely sure what that means still. I guess we’ll just have to work that out together.’

‘If you think you have some claim over Rey, you don’t.’ Poe reminded.

‘You don’t think I know that? She rejected me twice. If she doesn’t want me here then I’ll leave.’ Ben promised. This conversation wasn’t exactly going the way Ben wanted it to and Poe was still insecure about him being here but it was better than him trying to kill him.

‘If you hurt her in any way.’ Poe threatened.

‘You’ll kill me, I know.’ Ben finished. Poe really seemed to miss the point here. ‘I could have stayed dead but I came back for mostly Rey. To help her feel whole again. She must have suffered without the other half of the dyad. Was there a point where she suddenly got better?’

‘Not drastically. She stayed in her room all the time. Then eventually came out and ate breakfast and trained all day.’

‘That’s when I must have returned.’

‘Rey smiled a bit more and gradually became herself again. It was amazing to see. Except the growing darkness of course.’

‘Yeah, about that. It’s pretty bad.’ Ben said truthfully. He didn’t want her to suffer just as much as Poe did though maybe more.

‘What can we do?’ Poe asked. This was the one thing they could both agree on- Rey. Well maybe they wouldn’t agree but they would want to do what’s best for her. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself either. She survived alone for 19 years of her life in the desert which arguably made her the strongest person in the galaxy, in Ben’s opinion but he was biased of course.

‘I don’t know. We just have to show her the light. Something Uncle Luke said was, “the brighter the light, the darker the shadow.” He always spoke in quotes. What he said is true though. Because Rey is such a magnet of light, she also attracts the darkness.’

‘What happens if she fails and turns?’ Poe queried nervously.

‘It won’t come to that. She got angry the other day because she wasn’t able to beat me even though she had the advantage. Her swings became more violent and she couldn’t stop. Rey cut my arm slightly and just snapped out of it. I don’t think she’s being possessed, having fell to the dark side I know there are just moments of rage and anger.’

‘I can’t stop her if she turns.’ Poe stated. He loved Rey as well more in a family way but still cared about her.

‘I don’t think I could either.’ Ben agreed. Rey had managed to turn him through affection and caring but he didn’t think it would happen again. Rey had the willpower to fight Ben when it came to it. Ben knew he couldn’t fight Rey. He’d be too scared to hurt her. Whereas, an evil Rey would be merciless. That couldn’t happen.

‘You’re stronger than her though.’ Poe assumed. He was right of course which Rey would never admit and Ben would be too scared to say that in front of her in case she then proved him wrong.

‘I couldn’t hurt her.’ Ben choked. He was going to continue Poe spoke before he had the chance.

‘I saw you two the other day. You went to kiss her before I interrupted.’ Ben didn’t like where this was going.

‘Yes, I did.’ Ben responded bluntly.

‘Have you two kissed before this.’ Ben threw him a look. ‘Usually, when a girl gets a boyfriend they have to talk to the parents. Seeing as um Rey’s parents aren’t here, you’re going to have to talk to me about it.’ Ben rolled his eyes. At least Ben and Poe were getting along for the moment. If they were talking about anything else, they would have stirred up a big argument.

‘Are we really doing this? Right, we kissed once. On Exegol. After I brought her back to life, she lent in and kissed. I haven’t had the chance to do so since.’ Ben was honest. He didn’t see why he was telling Poe because he wouldn’t help at all. Plus, they weren’t even at that stage yet.

‘Wait, you kissed on Exegol.’ Poe was dragging this out and Ben definitely did not want to talk to Poe about kissing Rey.

‘Yes, why?’

‘She seemed to miss telling us that one.’ Poe said.

‘Oh.’ Ben didn’t know what to feel. There must have been some reason she didn’t tell them. Unless she regretted it.

‘Well, that was an awkward conversation. I’d rather Finn have done that.’ Ben nodded in agreement though he’d rather not have had the discussion.

‘I’ll see you around then Poe.’ Ben got up and left the room. He should probably go find Rey.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rey had left with Finn after the meeting adjourned and followed the collection of people out of the room. Ben had stayed behind with Poe and maybe that wasn’t such a good idea but they were grown men who needed to put their differences aside and knowledge together.

Finn and Rey walked around the base for a bit in silence. Rey wanted to talk to Finn but she just didn’t know what to say.

‘How are you doing Rey?’ Finn asked. He was unusually formal and awkward. Usually it was just a look to check if Rey was okay. What had Rey done to make him like this?

‘Good, what about you?’ Rey replied.

‘I’m good. Have you been training much?’ The conversation was abnormally painful and it made Rey wonder whether she had done something.

‘Yeah I have been. Even though there’s no more force sensitive users to fight.’ Rey said with happiness.

‘I mean I don’t think anyone would mind if you did fight him.’ Finn pointed out.

‘Don’t say that.’ Rey playfully hit Finn and the bizarre awkwardness dissipated. ‘Is Ben safe here?’

‘Rey, you’re talking about the Supreme Leader of the First Order, of course he’s not safe. But, he’s smart enough to know that and everyone else is smart enough to know not to offend you.’

‘Offend me?’ Rey didn’t know what Finn was talking about.

‘Yes, Rey. If you didn’t want him here, he would leave.’ Finn expressed. He was right and Rey wondered whether Ben had lied about his intentions but that was absurd. He couldn’t have. Rey would have sensed it.

‘Finn, you’re right but he wants to help.’ Rey assured.

‘Okay, if you’re sure.’

‘He can’t lie to me. I would sense it. I don’t know what you have against him.’ Rey was kind of annoyed that Finn was being like this.

‘Rey, open your eyes please. I don’t want you to get hurt.’

‘Ben would never hurt me.’ Rey meant this. Whoever Finn saw, that wasn’t the same person Rey did clearly. It was a bit weird that Finn was also acting as if Ben and Rey were a couple. As far as Rey knew, they weren’t.

‘Okay. If you’re sure.’ Finn said. There was a small pause; long enough to create a waft of awkwardness. ‘Oh, I’ve got something else to add.’

‘What is it?’

‘You know how I asked you to train me?’

‘Yeah.’ Rey didn’t know where this was leading.

‘That was just a distraction until Ben got here.’ Finn admitted. Rey was slightly angry but he saw why he did it. She had needed the distraction. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to learn how to use the force. I just want to finish the war first. But can we please not fall out over a boy.’

‘Okay Finn.’ Rey hugged him.

‘Aw, can I join?’ Poe popped out of nowhere and got involved in the hug.

‘Did you leave Ben alive?’ Finn asked.

‘Just about.’ Poe winked at Rey and was obviously joking but Rey didn’t find it very funny.

‘That’s not very funny.’

‘Rey, he’s fine. We just had a little talk that’s all. No fists involved or shouting.’ Poe was trying to impress Rey with the fact they had kept it clean.

‘Shame that.’ Finn added.

‘You know, he would kick your ass.’ Rey defended.

‘But has he seen these big biceps I have here.’ Poe flexed and Finn laughed loudly.

‘I hope he hasn’t for his sake and I wish I hadn’t either.’ Rey sniggered.

‘Oh, Rey. He may be a teeny bit upset with you.’ Rey panicked. What had she done to upset him?

‘Why?’ Rey asked.

‘It seems that you failed to mention to us that you kissed him.’ Poe said. Finn’s mouth dropped and Rey cringed.

‘Rey?’ Finn pushed Rey for an answer.

‘I’m sorry guys. I couldn’t handle talking about it. I told Rose because she understands.’

‘Understands what?’ Poe asked abruptly.

‘She’s a girl. She knows how I feel.’

‘How do you feel?’ Finn asked.

‘I’ve messed up and I’m sorry guys. I just didn’t think you would understand why I kissed him. Kylo Ren hurt you both so much and I didn’t want you to be angry at me.’

‘Rey, you can’t help who fall in love with.’ Finn said honestly. Rey noticed Poe’s eyes briefly flitted over to Finn and Rey assumed he was on about Rose. Maybe Finn had told Poe about her.

‘I never said—’ Finn held up a hand.

‘Rey, just be careful with him.’ Rey nodded.

‘Do you want to go and find him?’ Poe asked. Rey nodded and ran off.

‘I thought you were going to tell her?’ Finn said quietly but with the echoing hallways Rey heard it. She wondered what they were keeping from her but she needed to get to Ben first. She was the reason he was upset after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry that the end is a bit messy. I just couldn't seem to sort it out. Thank you all for your support <3


	14. Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey have a talk and discuss some hiccups. Will they overcome the obstacles?

Rey sat in the food hall on a table with Finn, Poe and Rose eating breakfast. Ben was not with them and wasn’t awake when Rey left. She had gone to find him the night before and searched everywhere only to find that he had already gone to bed. There was not point in waking him then so Rey knew she had to confront him after breakfast. 

Although sitting with Ben was wonderful, Rey did miss joking and laughing with her friends like they were now. However, because Poe and Ben couldn’t get along that couldn’t happen and Rey was forced to choose. It wasn’t the best position to be in but Rey didn’t want to upset anyone. 

Rey was definitely grateful for the life she had now as it was so much easier than her time on Jakku. But she couldn’t help but think that she still had such a difficult life compared to a lot of people. She may have been stuck in the middle of a war like the rest of the galaxy but not that many people have to deal with Palpatine being your Grandfather and killed your parents. No one quite understood what she had been through apart from Ben, who was currently mad at her. 

As if on cue, Ben strolled into the canteen, right past their table and over to the food without saying anything. Rose gave Rey a questionable look clearly not knowing that Ben was mad at Rey. She was going to explain what happened but Ben appeared and sat on their table. His bold move surprised everyone and he just kept his eyes on his food for a moment while sitting opposite Rey. 

Rey didn’t want to start a conversation with him. It was too awkward between them. Instead, she was trying to indicate for Rose to start one. She took the hint and swallowed a mouthful of food. 

‘Ben, how are you doing this morning?’ Rose asked sweetly. Her one question seemed to dissolve any bad air in the room. Ben ran his hand through his hair while he finished chewing the bread he was eating. It just made Rey think how much she loved his hair. How it was always intact and she’d love to run her fingers through it. A blank look from Ben with eye contact meant he heard the thought.

‘I’m alright thank you,’ Ben paused. He couldn’t remember Rose’s name. 

‘It’s Rose.’ She softly reminded. Ben gave her a smile and continued eating. The rest of them stared at him in astonishment. He had managed to keep his cool, not start an argument and be polite. This was definitely not Ben Solo. 

‘Who are you and what have you done with Ben Solo.’ Finn joked and Ben laughed. It was so strange to see him like this. Especially laughing with Finn whom he tried to kill literally a year ago. 

‘I can go back to trying to kill you if you wish.’ Ben chuckled. It was weird but pleasant to see them get along. Poe just ignored the entire conversation and made intense eye contact with his food. His eyes must have hurt from almost popping out their sockets. Ben still had some work to do with Poe but Rey was proud of him for talking to Finn and Rose without breaking anything or killing anyone. 

As Rey thought this, Ben’s eyes flashed over to hers briefly making eye contact. He looked mad even though their eyes only met for a second. Ben definitely was angry at her because he wasn’t even talking to her through the bond. She didn’t understand why he was so upset about her not telling her friends about the kiss. 

Another look from Ben indicated she should stop thinking so loudly. This one was held slightly longer than the last. Long enough for Rey to see the hurt in his eyes which was so blatant and unmissable. Rey needed to talk to him but she guessed she would have to wait until breakfast finished. 

C-3PO randomly appeared out of nowhere somehow coming through the canteen door without Rey even noticing. His shining gold coat and extremely recognisable voice with no volume control had managed to make his way to their table without anyone noticing. Slightly weird for such a vocal droid. 

‘Ah, Miss Skywalker, the person I wanted to see!’ C-3PO greeted Rey loudly and she gave him a smile. He held a book in is metal hand; one Rey had given him a few days ago to translate because she didn’t understand a passage. 

Rey took the book and felt a wave of hurt and rage come from the other half of the bond. Ben was mad at her for another reason now. Maybe she should have asked him if he could translate it but he was just adjusting into life here and she didn’t want to seem clingy or like she was using him. 

‘I’m sorry, what did you just call her?’ Ben asked accusingly. He was looking at 3PO angrily and the droid didn’t seem to notice that. The whole table fell silent joining Rey in an uncomfortable setting while they waited for 3PO to answer. Rey didn’t know why he was picking up on what 3PO called her; he was always very formal and used miss or master then the first name or surname. Oh, oops. Rey tried to signal to 3PO not to talk but he didn’t take the hint. 

‘I called her Miss Skywalker. I believe Master Solo.’ Ben swallowed hard and looked at Rey with pure anger. Rey tried to hide but couldn’t. Though she tried, she couldn’t keep the eye contact with Ben. ‘That is her name, is it not?’ 3PO was just making matters worse and digging Rey deeper into a hole. Not that she didn’t put herself there already. She seemed to have forgotten to mention her name change to Ben since his arrival. 

Ben continued eating silently and everyone else followed suit. Rose made a sympathetic face at Rey as she knew that she would have to deal with this in a moment. Causing a big commotion at breakfast would not be the way to go. Rey knew she was loved at the Resistance or rather her abilities were loved and shouting at the guy who was the enemy a few weeks ago would not make him trustworthy to anyone. Ben huffed under his breath suggesting he heard that thought as well. Rey thought she was doing him a favour by waiting. 

They all finished their meal around the same time, a few minutes later, but Ben aggressively put his tray back and rubbish in the bin then stormed out. The rest of them were going at a normal speed careful of not spilling anything which Ben had miraculously managed. Guess he had practice with throwing things accurately. 

‘Rey, are you okay?’ Rose asked. She was always to sweet and thoughtful; Rey was so lucky to have her as a friend. 

‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just nervous about talking to him. I don’t want him to be mad at me.’ Rey confessed as they walked out the hall with eyes stalking them like prey after Ben’s dramatic exit. 

‘Rey, relationships have hiccups.’ Why everyone thought Ben and Rey were in a relationship astounded Rey. She would have protested Rose’s point but she didn’t. ‘If you just both be honest, then you’ll be fine and can figure it out together.’ 

‘Thank you, Rose but Ben and I aren’t together.’ Rose didn’t say anything about Rey’s response. It was weird; everyone was acting as if they knew something about them. 

Rey left Rose and sought Ben through the bond. He was upset and angry and disappointed which worried Rey, especially the latter one. She tried to find him through the bond but she wasn’t close enough to feel his presence. 

Rey had an idea where he would be if he wasn’t in their room which she would check first. He continually reminded her that she was the only person he had left but then he saw his Mother at her funeral and tried desperately to find her. Rey never planned on leaving him but the galaxy seemed to have a twisted idea of a happy ending. 

Rey ran and found him exactly where she thought he would be, in the clearing where he saw Leia. He was sitting at the bottom of a tree looking broken. Rey had done this it was her fault. 

‘Ben?’ He hadn’t acknowledged Rey and whether it was on purpose or accident she was trying to figure out. It would be much easier if he would actually talk to her but he didn’t reply. He just stood up instead. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’ 

‘I know.’ Ben bluntly answered. It seemed that Rey would have to do the most talking and apologise. There were a lot of things to apologise for. 

‘I can explain the Skywalker name.’ Rey said calmly. 

‘You’d better.’ Ben said coldly. 

‘I went to Tatooine to bury Luke and Leia’s saber in the sand as a memorial.’ 

‘It wasn’t Luke’s saber. It was my Grandfather Anakin’s and then it was passed through generation. He absolutely hated sand.’ Ben chuckled at the irony. Rey didn’t mean to get it wrong she just didn’t know. Leia had told her it was Anakin’s saber but she always called it Luke’s probably because it was the only thing she had left of his. 

‘Ben, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’ Rey sounded pathetic but didn’t know what else to do other than continue the story. ‘A woman arrived after I buried them and asked who I was. I told her I was Rey. Then she asked for my last name and Leia and Luke appeared in the horizon as force ghosts and told me I could take it- their last name. I wanted to belong to a family for so long and they welcomed me and trained me knowing who I was.’ 

‘You’re literally a Palpatine who stole the Skywalker’s name. That’s exactly what he wanted. He has always gone for the Skywalkers.’ Ben shouted. He was angry at Rey and she didn’t know how to fix it. 

‘Ben, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful to you or anything. I just wanted to belong to something because you left me.’ Rey was being harsh and unfair and knew that. 

‘I didn’t choose to leave you Rey. I saved you because I care about you.’ Ben’s words were flowing out his mouth fast, too fast for him to think. 

‘You care about me?’ Rey was shocked. She never thought he had any sort of feelings towards her. 

‘Yes, Rey I would do anything for you.’ Ben admitted. 

‘So, would I. I will not use Skywalker if you don’t want me to.’ 

‘It’s the past Rey. That family tore the galaxy apart. Let’s make a fresh start.’ Ben decided. ‘Why didn’t you ask me to translate those texts?’ The hurt in Ben’s voice had returned. 

‘You were so busy settling in I didn’t think you would want to.’ Rey truthfully answered. It wasn’t a great reason but Rey was too scared to ask him in case he didn’t want to. 

‘Rey don’t think that. Luke taught me, he taught me all those languages. I can help you.’ Rey nodded. This was relatively easy this conversation so far. They were shouting obnoxiously loud at times and were disrupting surrounding wildlife but there was no one slashing sabers which was a positive.

‘Okay, I will ask you next time then.’ There was one thing left to sort out but it was arguably the worst one too. Rey was afraid Ben would admit there was nothing to their kiss. ‘Why do you care that I didn’t tell people we kissed?’ That wasn’t a great apology or an apology at all but Rey wanted to find out Ben’s reasoning. He struggled to get words out and opened his mouth several times without saying anything. Rey knew that Ben was just trying to say the right thing and get across his emotions because he struggled with that so Rey was patient. 

‘I think you regretted it.’ 

‘What? You think I regretted it?’ Rey was shocked. She thought it was the other way round even though Ben had tried to kiss her on multiple occasions since. Ben just nodded in reply with pleading eyes. ‘Why do you think that?’ 

‘I don’t know. I guess everyone just ends up hurting me and leaving—’ Ben didn’t get to finish his sentence because he was cut off by Rey’s lips on his. The kiss was sloppy and desperate but so fulfilling and worth waiting a million years for. 

‘I’m never leaving you Ben.’ Rey whispered when they paused for breath. ‘Never.’ She repeated to get the message across. Ben responded by smashing his lips against hers but with more passion and control. He grabbed her hips pulling him closer to her while Rey ran her fingers through his hair. Something she has wanted to do for so long. The dark waves felt like silk between her fingers. No knots, no grease, just perfection. 

They eventually stopped out of fatigue and a smile creeped across Ben’s face. It was only small at first but then it grew and blossomed teeth making Rey’s heart pound in her chest. It really was the most beautiful smile out there. 

‘I could say the same about yours.’ Ben said. Because of the short distance, Rey felt Ben’s hot breath on her face. He looked like he was glowing with joy and Rey wondered why he was so happy. ‘You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that.’ Ben sighed in relief. So, it was because of Rey he was that gleeful. 

‘Me too,’ Rey whispered.

‘Running the First Order was tiresome and not very easy for impatient people but I couldn’t quit. If I’d done that then Hux would have been in charge and you wouldn’t be safe.’ Safe? Rey wasn’t safe either way. ‘Hux suggested to destroy the settlement you were in on Kijimi and I couldn’t let him kill you just like that. I did everything I could to keep you alive and turn you to the dark side but I guess it worked the other way round. 

Rey, I would never let anyone hurt you and I don’t know what I would need to do to show you that.’ What Ben was saying had come out of nowhere and confused Rey slightly. ‘Yeah, I know it seems random. I just want you to know I’ve been fighting for you to live ever since I met you. Even though I was trying to turn you, I would never hurt you.’ 

Rey knew that Ben had seen most of her childhood while searching through her head. He had felt her loneliness, her pain and her sadness. It was so thoughtful of him to tell her that he would protect her because that’s all she ever wanted since her parents left. She always had to protect herself but Ben had said he would protect her as well. Rey didn’t know what more she could want out of life than him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you all for reading. There will be no new chapter next week because I'm away. I tried my best with this and to add some fluff but our little awkward beans finally got a kiss :)


	15. Excluded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance plan their first attack on the First Order since Exegol. Rey isn't very happy with one of the details but how will she respond?

It seemed Ben was in the meeting room an awful lot. Patience wasn’t exactly one of Ben’s most dominant traits which was a shame in some circumstances because it meant these meetings were unbearable- almost. There was a very pretty woman across him who if she caught his thoughts, would murder him.

Ben had managed now to broadcast all his thoughts to Rey without trying unless he was purposely trying to hide them. He was very comfortable around her; he never felt like he was unwanted around Rey because she made him feel like he was the only man in the galaxy. Multiple times, the darkness had tried to seep back into him and tell him that she only wanted him for his power but Ben knew better. He truly trusted her and that was a big thing for Ben seeing as everyone before her had betrayed him and left him alone but he somehow knew Rey wouldn’t.

_I wouldn’t leave you._

_I know. I would never leave you either._

Rey was a lot like Ben in so many ways. She needed the reassurance too because many people had left her as well. Both their parents loved them and tried to do the right thing but the galaxy just had other ideas.

Ben had been daydreaming about Rey for far too long and she gave him a kick under the table that made Ben grunt out of surprise.

_Why did you kick me so hard?_

_You need to pay attention._

_I am!_

_Not to me, to the meeting._

Ben smiled at her. She was very intelligent and Ben still underestimated her. Rey surprised him every day and he loved that.

_Ben…_

He wasn’t paying attention still. I mean how could he which such a beautiful person across the table from him. Ben sang that thought loud and clear so Rey certainly heard it. Ben knew she did because a red tinge sprouted across her face which she desperately tried to cover up and all Ben could do was try and not burst into laughter.

_Seems like you’re not used to compliments yet. Guess I’ll have to do it more often._

_Are you going soft on me Ben Solo? Guess I’ll just have to kick your ass later and prove you wrong._

‘Ben, Rey focus please.’ Poe said. ‘And please stop flirting through that force bond talky thing you do.’ Ben rolled his eyes while Rey grew as red as the lava of Mustafar. Not that she was just red but she was seriously hot as well.

That seemed to push Rey to the extreme of blushing literally becoming redder than humanely possible and Ben just tried not to laugh. Poe just continued shifting the attention back to him.

‘Now that we have more allies and equipment, we can start the end of the First Order. Any suggestions how are welcome.’ There was a lack of ideas put forward so Ben decided he would try. After all, he did know a thing or two about the First Order.

‘What about if we went big.’ Ben proposed. Murmurs filled the room but Ben knew he was onto something. If leading the First Order for a year taught him anything it was that they couldn’t do anything without a leader. Going big would be easier with a lack of authority.

‘What are you thinking Ben?’ Poe was intrigued like everyone else was.

‘Well, the First Order has no leader and they will pretty much be destructing themselves as they fight for a leader meaning there’s lots of chaos so they may forget things. The likelihood that they will have all the planets in control will be unlikely. So, I think we should go blow up something big just to scare them.’

‘So you’re saying, if I heard that correctly, you want to go and blow something big up.’ Ben nodded. ‘You think they will be disarrayed?’ Ben nodded again. ‘Anyone got a better plan?’ No one responded much to Ben’s delight. If this plan succeeded, then surely people would begin to forgive him and maybe even like him. The hatred for him would just rise if he failed- especially if lives were lost.

‘Poe, what are we going to blow up?’ Finn asked. Poe gestured for ideas and it was a young woman with her hair braided in a circlet like his Mother used to wear that spoke up.

‘Kessel has a lot of vital coaxium.’ She spoke strongly not afraid to voice her opinion. Ben liked that about everyone her but then Poe wouldn’t exactly strangle anyone if he didn’t like what they said.

‘That’s great Connix, if we took that back that would be fantastic.’ Poe praised. ‘Blowing up coaxium wouldn’t be best idea so what if we try to make them an ally to the Resistance?’

‘That would work.’ Finn interrupted. ‘They’re run by a family who literally pretends the slavery isn’t going on in the north. I’m sure we could persuade them to stop giving shipments to the First Order. Rey would definitely need to go to help.’ Ben didn’t like that. Rey was just being used as a beacon of hope for her Jedi powers rather than her actual self. Yes, Rey’s powers were incredible but she was more than just a girl with force abilities.

_Ben, it’s fine. I want to go._

Rey didn’t sound the most convincing but she wanted peace just as much as anyone else in the galaxy and Ben knew she felt responsible to clear up the mess her Grandfather made just as much as Ben did. Plus, Ben knew Rey wanted to see every world possible because she had only ever seen sand for 19 years and that must have been frustrating.

‘I’ll take the Falcon.’ Rey decided. Not that it was much of a decision because it was her ship which his Father had given her. He wasn’t annoyed about it; Ben was too busy being a pain in the ass to the galaxy and slaughtering innocent people. Rey winced at hearing Ben’s thought and he gave her an apologetic smile.

_Don’t say that about yourself._

_Well I wouldn’t if it wasn’t true._

‘Okay Rey, you take Finn, Chewie and Lando to go with you and leave for Kessel in the morning.’ Poe looked to Finn who nodded at him in agreement then Poe continued, ‘meeting adjourned you’re free to leave.’

Ben was annoyed that he wasn’t included as he had come up with the original plan that had been tweaked slightly but it was still his idea. Though he wasn’t as angry as Rey. She sat in her chair fists clenched, knuckles white and breathed heavily like a careless predator stalking food. Poe and Finn stood there watching her not saying anything. What sorts of friends were they for that?

Rey was a ticking time bomb about to explode and Ben would rather her do it outside and with him close to her so she doesn’t hurt herself. He creeped round the table careful not to set her off and he met her eyes as she looked up to him. Ben cautiously took her hand in his and led her out the room.

Meanwhile, Rey’s “friends” were having a casual discussion. It was so wrong and Ben purposely glared at Finn as he left the room. Why didn’t they help her? It occurred to Ben that they may have been scared of her. Even though their blank expressions gave away nothing, that could be true. He felt so bad for Rey. She didn’t deserve that and that’s exactly what she didn’t need.

They got outside the room and there were people around them lightly discussing the details for tomorrow’s trip. Unfortunately, it was within Rey’s hearing range so she heard them. Ben knew she would burst and it seemed Rey knew it too because she had run off.

Ben sighed. He would go and find her but just took a second to breathe. Ben needed to be strong for Rey. To show her that she’s okay and to calm her down but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to do that. To be honest, she scared him. The fear would be so evident in his voice and it wasn’t because he was scared of her. He was scared to lose her.

Though he tried, Ben wasn’t close enough to Rey to talk to her through the bond. Ben had a good idea where she would be though. Rey was the most caring and considerate person Ben knew. She wouldn’t want to hurt anybody so she would run to somewhere without anyone until she calmed down but then she would be alone. Ben knew that being alone after calming down from an outburst was actually worse than the outburst itself.

It sort of sunk you deeper into the dark side because you thought no one cared enough to help you whereas it was because no one knew how to help you as they were fearful. But Ben would be there for Rey so she wasn’t alone. He knew what the feeling was like and would make sure she never felt that.

He dashed through base to an exit that lead to the forest where he searched for her presence. Before he felt her presence, he heard the whacks of a lightsaber beating a tree. Ben didn’t hesitate and ran after the noise.

Ben almost collided with the blade when he found Rey. She was ferociously swinging at anything and everything. He rolled on the floor to miss contact with it and Rey gasped.

‘Ben, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you coming.’ Rey frantically checked him to see if she had hurt him.

‘Are you okay?’ Ben asked. Rey didn’t need to apologise at all. He probably should have slowed down he was just in such a rush to stop her.

‘I almost killed you and you’re asking me that?’ Rey was still not herself. She was still angry but had managed to push it aside to check on Ben.

‘You managed to push the anger aside to check on me. Rey.’ Rey smiled in disbelief as she tried to control her emotions. ‘Rey look at me,’ Ben gently took Rey’s hand off her lightsaber and held them. ‘Close your eyes and imagine something relaxing, anything really, it doesn’t matter. Now feel the anger in you.’ Rey’s breathing began to quicken. ‘Imagine the anger dissipating into the air and leaving your body.’

Ben could feel the anger leaving Rey. He had managed to help her become calm. Ben smiled as Rey did and she breathed a sigh of relief.

‘I did it.’ Rey beamed. She was her usual gleaming, radiant self again.

‘I’m so proud of you. You did amazing!’ Ben praised.

‘How did you know what to do?’

‘It was a technique I used when I was younger- well I tried to. It clearly didn’t work very well. Rey the more you do that the easier it is until the anger is like a star in the night sky. Noticeable but not big enough to impact you.’ Ben was still propped on his elbows that was until Rey pushed him down and lay on his like a pillow. The soft strands of her hair that had fallen out of her buns tickled his neck.

‘What are you thinking about Ben?’

‘Your hair.’ Ben simply said.

‘My hair?’ Rey looked up at him rather confused as if it wasn’t a normal thing to think about.

‘Why do you wear it in three buns?’

‘I always have done. It was so my parents would find me when they came back but they didn’t. I was stupid for waiting for them to come back.’ Rey admitted.

‘No, Rey you had to grow up all by yourself. You had to make a living which generally people don’t do until twenty years later. You did incredible to survive no one else could do that.’

‘I guess that’s why I was rewarded with you.’ Ben’s heart literally melted. This Jedi made him feel so many things some that he had never felt before. He lent forward to kiss her but had to use his arms to sit up and Rey adjusted by wrapping her legs around him and kissing him back.

Rey tugged at her hair and pulled it loose of its buns and it tumbled down elegantly like ribbons. She paused for a moment to shake her hair and it gave Ben a moment to look at her. He’d never actually seen her with her hair fully down before. His mouth hung open and Rey giggled.

‘What?’

‘You are so beautiful.’ Rey answered by pulling Ben close again and putting her lips to his. They kissed for a few moments before Ben noticed something wasn’t right. ‘What’s wrong Rey?’

‘Nothing.’ Rey just pulled Ben back and began kissing him again; he would have believed her if he didn’t literally know what she was feeling.

‘Tell me what’s bothering you.’ Ben asked again. Rey reluctantly moved back away from him.

‘I don’t want to go without you.’ Ben sighed. He had forgotten almost completely that he wasn’t invited.

‘Oh you mean, that I’m not invited on the mission that I suggested where we may encounter First Order who I know everything about. No, I’m not bothered about it at all.’

‘I’m surprised Poe didn’t mention your name.’

‘Not sure you were surprised. You were fuming and they did nothing to help you.’ Ben wasn’t going to tell her that he thinks they’re scared of her.

‘I don’t expect them to. What are they meant to do?’ Rey defended.

‘They could help you like I did or even talk to you.’

‘Don’t say anything against them. They were there for me when you,’ Rey paused.

‘When I what? Was searching after galactic domination? Thanks for bringing that up. Do you seriously need to bring that up just to win an argument because you don’t want to admit Finn and Poe aren’t there for you?’

‘You don’t trust Finn and Poe and that’s not my fault.’

‘Of course I don’t trust them! I wouldn’t be surprised if they did accidentally kill me whilst you were gone.’

‘Ben! How could you say that!’ Rey looked really offended but Ben needed to get his point across.

‘Let’s face it. You’re the only person who is ever going to see me the way you do.’ Ben was being harsh but he was being truthful.

‘Don’t say that Ben. People will forgive you.’

‘I don’t care about people forgiving me. I just want you.’

‘Okay.’

‘Do you understand what I’m saying about Poe and Finn?’

‘Not really.’ Rey said. She was tired from the fighting and so was Ben but she needed to get that they don’t want him there.

‘They literally had blasters up when I arrived.’ Ben pointed out.

‘That’s because they didn’t know you were coming.’

‘They did.’

‘What?! How come I didn’t know?’ Rey was slightly upset about that.

‘We didn’t want to tell you because in case you didn’t want me then I would have stayed away until you wanted me or forever and help with what I could out without being there.’ Ben honestly replied.

‘You would have stayed away if I didn’t want to see you?’ Rey seemed surprised and maybe she underestimated how much he cared for her.

‘For whatever reason, if you didn’t want to be around me then I would leave.’ Ben said.

‘But you said you’d never leave me.’ Rey squeaked. They were both so scared and fragile around that phrase because ultimately, they had both been left by everyone including each other multiple times.

‘I would never unless you asked me to.’

‘Then you’ll stay with me forever.’ Rey demanded. She said it with authority and Ben would never have disobeyed that command but he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay with Rey until they were old and grey and become one’s with the force.

‘Forever.’ Ben echoed.

‘Will you sleep in my bed tonight? I never get nightmares when I’m with you.’ Rey asked sweetly. Ben couldn’t resist the offer because he had wanted to ask her the same but was worried about rejection.

‘Yes, Rey and neither do I.’

‘Well that gives one bed back to the Resistance. They mentioned a lack of beds in the meeting again this morning if you remember.’

‘Yes, I remember.’

‘No you don’t! You weren’t paying any attention.’

‘I was paying attention to you.’ Ben said quietly.

‘That’s not what you’re meant to pay attention to.’ Rey laughed.

‘No?’ Ben was playing along with the joke.

‘You’re meant to listen to Poe.’

‘I much prefer looking at you than Poe.’

‘Well, I much prefer looking at you than Poe.’

‘Rey! You’re meant to be the good student.’ Ben criticised half-heartedly.

‘Well, I’m not perfect.’

‘You’re perfect to me Rey.’ Ben looked up at Rey who literally proved his point. Her hair was effortlessly swaying in the breeze and her smile would capture any man’s heart.

‘I wouldn’t change anything about you either.’ Rey replied. ‘Apart from all the trauma and dying and hurting you’ve experienced I wouldn’t want you to go through that.’

‘If there was any way possible, I would take your childhood away from you too.’ Ben promised.

‘Well, as there isn’t, I guess we’re just stuck with it.’ Rey concluded sadly.

‘Yeah, I guess we are. But we don’t have to relive it alone. We can get through it together.’ Ben smiled. He knew whatever obstacles the galaxy threw at them; they would get past and they would do that together. Ben’s favourite word along with forever. Both of which referred to Rey. Even if they didn’t go together tomorrow, Ben would make sure he was by her side otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe and doing well! This chapter is another bit of fluff (when the little beans aren't arguing) before the action in the next coming chapters! Thank you for all the feedback in kudos, comments etc. They do make my day <3
> 
> P.S I'm sorry that there is an awful lot of dialogue!


	16. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and her friends leave for a mission but there is unexpected surprise waiting for them.

‘Morning Rey.’ Ben greeted with his voice full of sleep. He wasn’t properly awake but neither was Rey. She opened her eyes and was met with Ben’s hazel eyes that changed colour in the sun.

‘Morning Ben.’ Rey responded. She sounded tired and noticed it. It wasn’t as if she had just had a dreamless sleep which was nice. Ben was like a dream catcher; he protected her by keeping all the bad dreams away. Rey could protect herself from many things but when she was subconscious and asleep there was nothing stopping the bad visions from creeping their way into her head.

‘I didn’t have any either.’ Ben sighed. It was relieving that there was a way out of them. The scary thing about dreams were that it didn’t matter if they were dead or alive, anyone could appear in her dreams. On Jakku, there was no one to comfort Rey and tell her it would be alright. She had to deal with them herself. ‘Rey,’ Ben touched Rey’s hand and ran his thumb over the top of it. ‘Don’t think about the past.’

‘Let it die.’ Rey sniggered. Ben playfully pushed her off the bed but he must have not realised how close to the edge she was. Rey fell on the concrete floor unexpectedly.

‘Rey, are you okay?’ Ben said worried. He peaked his head off the edge of the bed to look at Rey on the floor. She couldn’t help but giggle. Though she turned out to be fine but maybe a bruise or two would appear.

‘You could have caught me!’ Rey protested but she wasn’t being very good at saying it seriously. Ben just sighed and lifted her up with the force and gracefully placed her back on the bed. Except it would have been graceful if Rey wasn’t kicking and screaming. ‘Ben, put me down! I can get back on a bed myself.’ Ben laughed as a stubborn Rey turned away from him.

‘Rey, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.’ Ben attempted to keep a straight face but failed instantly.

‘I will kick your ass Ben, wait what’s your middle name?’ Rey asked.

‘Chewbacca.’ Ben said bluntly.

‘No way! That is so cute.’ Rey cooed.

‘Do you have a middle name?’ Ben questioned. Rey scoffed.

‘I don’t even have a last name let alone a middle name.’ It was kind of sad, well really sad. Rey went through her whole childhood without anyone to love her. It still gave her trauma. Left her with trust issues and a sense that she would always be alone. Although, it was weirdly coincidental that she was part of a dyad the whole time.

‘Rey, I’m here you don’t need to worry about Jakku anymore. It’s gone, you never have to go back.’ Ben assured. He ran his hand down her cheek in a gesture of kindness.

‘But it’s embedded in my memory. I don’t know how to live with it. It’s there whenever I close my eyes. It’ll pop up randomly in my head. I don’t know how to make it go away. It makes me feel vulnerable.’ Rey sobbed. She didn’t usually fall apart like this but she just felt like it. It had been a chaotic few weeks. From finding out her lineage and who her parents actually then stabbing Ben only to heal him again, killing Palpatine and dying but saved by Ben who died but came back to life.

‘Rey, it’s okay. You have me.’ Ben reassured. ‘We will get through this together. Somehow, we’ll leave the trauma behind and you can live a happy, peaceful life. Now come here and give me a hug.’ Rey did as Ben instructed and practically fell into his arms. He was warm and smelled of the same soap that the whole Resistance used but he smelt so much better than everyone else. ‘Come on, we have to get up now. You need to leave soon. Give me a minute and we’ll get breakfast.’

‘I don’t want breakfast, I’m not hungry.’ Rey complained. ‘I’m going to go check on the Falcon. I’ll see you later?’ Ben nodded. Rey didn’t give him much time to protest because she grabbed her clothes and left. As much as she cared for Ben, she needed some alone time for a bit so she was prepared for the mission and not an absolute mess.

When she reached the Falcon, Rey boarded the ramp and went to change in one of the bedrooms. It was a small, scarcely decorated and not well lit. It wasn’t luxurious but not much time would have been spent there so it wasn’t a big concern. Han didn’t seem like the type of man who would go the extra mile where decorating was concerned.

‘Hello?’ A small voice brought Rey out of her thoughts. She left the room and headed to the ramp where she found Rose.

‘Hey, Rose.’ Rey greeted happily. She never saw much of Rose because she was always working hard to repair ships or give maintenance or whatever needs doing. Rose was so kind and put so much effort into her work that there wasn’t many other that deserved better than her.

‘I was just going to do some final checks on the Falcon unless you’ve already done that.’ Rose said with a wide smile on her face.

‘No, I haven’t. I can help if you want?’ Rey offered. She was going to do it anyway and Rose would keep her company. Rose understood her on a level the rest of her friends and Ben didn’t- they were both girls.

They both headed into the cockpit and Rose told Rey on all the things she’d been doing since Exegol. Although Rose had been busy, she did seem to enjoy it. What made Rose enjoy it escaped Rey. Work had only ever been a chore for Rey when she was younger. She was thinking of her life on Jakku and it set her off crying again. Rey didn’t understand why was so sensitive today. She hadn’t been like this for ages.

‘Rey, what’s wrong?’ Rose immediately dropped her tools and hugged Rey.

‘I just keep thinking of Jakku and it hurts. It follows me everywhere and plagues me.’ Rey cried. She was in pain not physically but mentally and it just wouldn’t go away.

‘Rey, it’s okay. You’ve been through so much; you’re doing so well to be out of bed and to be going on a mission. It’s okay to cry. We’re all human and we can’t be happy all the time. Sometimes we love the wrong people and we don’t all get our happy endings.’ It was sad was what Rose but true. There was one details in there that Rey needed Rose to elaborate on.

‘Rose, who do you love?’ Rey choked out. As much as Rey wanted comfort right now, Rose had a weight on her chest she needed to lift.

‘I love Finn and I know he loves me, just not in the same way.’ Rose explained.

‘Rose, you don’t know that. You kissed remember.’ Rey tried to restore hope into the girl. She rarely saw Rose break.

‘Yes, but we haven’t done anything since. Look and you and Ben what have you done since? Besides have you seen the way Poe—’ Rose was cut off by voices and footsteps coming up the ramp. She signalled Rey to stay there and ran off to greet them. Rey was confused what he meant about Poe. Though she didn’t have much time to dwell on her thoughts because Ben had wrapped his arms round her from behind.

‘I don’t want to go without you.’ Rey whispered. She clung onto his arms that were wrapped around her chest like she would tumble to her death if she let go.

‘You don’t have to. I’m coming.’ Ben said calmly. Rey looked up at the man who was there for her and would maybe always be there for her. ‘Poe asked me at breakfast this morning if I wanted to. Slightly random but I agreed. Do you want to stay here or help check the rest of the Falcon?’

‘I’ll come with you.’ Ben offered his hand and Rey comfortably slipped hers into it. It fitted like a jigsaw piece in a puzzle.

They walked out to where the rest of the crew were and Poe directed them to a part that needed inspecting. Together, they worked through it ensuring everything was connected and working. Much to everyone’s surprise, all sections of the Falcon were functioning.

Poe wished everyone luck, ran over the plans again and left when all the preparations were made. Rey took the pilots seat and Chewie was next to her. Ben let her know he was behind her by squeezing her shoulders affectionately. Rey had to focus on flying and not Ben otherwise there would be no Ben.

_I don’t fancy dying again thanks Rey please concentrate._

_I wouldn’t let you die. You’re not leaving me again._

_Neither are you leaving me._

Rey acknowledged that they were very protective of each other but Rey knew she was the only thing Ben had left and she discovered she couldn’t live without him. It wasn’t unhealthy what they had- constantly needing to be together. They just felt full together- complete. That was probably due to the dyad.

_Rey?_

Rey snapped out of her thoughts and concentrated on getting out of the atmosphere.

‘I’m going to strap myself in somewhere else because there’s no room.’ Finn announced.

‘You don’t have to Finn.’ Ben said kindly. Rey thought he was just being benevolent but Ben decided to continue. ‘Rey and I can share a seat.’ Ben spoke calmly as if he hadn’t just proposed something completely inappropriate. Rey just focused on putting in the coordinates as she knew she would be blushing uncontrollably. Lando just laughed as Finn left not knowing what to say or do either.

‘Ben, whatever you and Rey have going on, doesn’t need to be shared with that much detail.’ Lando told him. It wasn’t authoritative and sounded more like advice but was still an instruction. Though what worried Rey more is what people thought was going on between her and Ben.

_Rey it’s fine. People can think what they want to think._

It still worried Rey that the galaxy would turn on her when they found out she was dating, or whatever this was, the ex-Supreme Leader of the First Order. Rey knew how impactful she was to the Resistance and how she inspired young children by providing them and their families hope. Being with Ben, she hoped, wouldn’t change that. That the galaxy would see the light and she could live happily too.

_Rey, please focus._

Rey kept losing concentration. This never happened. Well it had happened a lot since Exegol and maybe it hurt her in more ways than she thought but she could think about that later. Rey continued putting in the coordinates then jumped to hyperspace after getting the nod from Chewie.

They all left the cockpit and went to join Finn who was sitting round the holochess table. Ben and Rey sat with him while Chewie and Lando took a seat opposite them.

‘You know, I went to Kessel on this ship with your Father.’ Lando reminisced. He gestured at Ben when he said Father indicating he was on about Han.

‘Really, what happened?’ Finn asked excitedly.

‘It was before Han won the ship so it belonged to me. Han and Chewie were employed by someone called Beckett who worked for a gang called the Crimson Dawn. They’d lost some coaxium too someone and had to get it and they needed a fast ship. It was me, Beckett, Han, Chewie, my droid and Han’s girlfriend Qi’ra. Very complicated plan, not a high success rate but we pulled it off by taking a shortcut.’

‘That’s how you completed the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs.’ Ben finished. Rey didn’t understand why he hadn’t heard the story before but a simple look at his thoughts showed her that he was thinking the same. If his Father had told him, Ben didn’t remember. Rey rubbed his arm in comfort and he smiled at her.

‘We wouldn’t have got through the Kessel Run without the coaxium and the ship isn’t in the condition it was. So, don’t get any ideas today. We’re going to have a peaceful, straightforward meeting without any backfires.’ Everyone nodded and Chewie roared in agreement. He also added on an extra sentence asking Lando to tell a story. Rey nestled into Ben who wrapped his arm around her.

‘After Han won the Falcon, I didn’t see him until just before he was frozen in carbonite. Well, it actually happened in Cloud City. He came with Leia, Chewie and C-3PO. The Falcon needed a new hyperdrive but the Empire arrived before them so I couldn’t do anything about that.’ Chewie growled in disagreement. ‘Yes, I know Chewie but I did try to redeem myself. Vader wanted Luke and tested the carbonite on Han to check it would work so he could deliver him to the Emperor.’

Rey shivered and Ben placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. It seemed even dead he still affected her. Even the small mention of his name made her want to crumble. Ben was much better with it. He masked his pain effortlessly and that worried Rey. That if there was ever anything wrong Ben wouldn’t tell her; he’d just hide it.

_Rey, are you okay?_

_Yeah, I’m worried about you._

_Don’t be. I’ve got it under control._

It was a deflection. He wasn’t okay. Ben was just as unstable as her except he didn’t show it. Rey would have pulled and forced him to tell her what was wrong but there were other people here right now. Rey was worried it would like she was taking him to another room to do something else. She put the thought aside and continued listening to Lando.

‘We just missed Han but we managed to get back him back from Jabba a year later but I’ll explain that story another time. So, Chewie, Leia, R2, 3PO and I left Cloud City. Then Leia had an epiphany that she knew where Luke was.’

‘The Force,’ contributed Finn.

‘Yes, it was. We found Luke without an arm and got him a replacement. Leia really struggled without Han. She didn’t show it but we all knew she missed him. Han’s charm and way with woman managed to persuade a Princess to love a scoundrel. I see you inherited that charm Ben.’ Lando laughed as he said the latter part.’ Ben smirked but didn’t say anything. Rey laughed. Lando clearly hadn’t heard about his awkwardness in the throne room after killing Snoke. ‘They really did love you Ben.’

‘I know.’ Ben replied with a hint of sadness in his voice. A bleep signalling they needed to leave hyperspace interrupted the conversation. They all retook their seats, except Finn who stood, as Rey waited for guidance from Lando and Chewie.

‘Go slow. There are lights leading you all the way.’ Lando advised. Rey carefully navigated through the tunnel. The Falcon looked tiny even compared to the blinking lights guiding the way. It looked especially small to the clouds acting as the walls. They rumbled violently and it echoed down the tunnel. It frightened Rey, they often had thunderstorms on Ajan Kloss which scared Rey the first time because she had no clue what they were. She thought the First Order were attacking them.

Some of the time, the lights weren’t even needed because intense lightning illuminated the channel. Rey was worried about the lightning striking the ship but it never did. It kept contained it whatever was causing the clouds not to merge into one another and swallow up the passage.

The clouds themselves were an angry grey. Big, puffy, dark clouds they were and not something Rey would want to fly through. They moved around sluggishly travelling overhead and beneath them as well as at the sides. Though they never seemed to come any closer to the Falcon.

Rey had almost cruised the Falcon all the way to the end when they encountered trouble. A First Order ship. Of course, with their luck, it was a big one. It excreted dozens of little TIEs from the exits that headed straight for the Falcon.

‘Shit.’ Ben said.

Rey reacted and dived down. Finn took Ben to the guns and they geared up. The managed to destroy a few TIEs but there were still too many.

‘Where did you cut through last time?’ Rey shouted after having an idea.

‘It’s past the ship. We’d never make it through.’ Lando said. Rey had to try anyway. Chewie understood what Rey would do and roared it to Finn and Ben.

Rey knew the tractor beam would be strong so she couldn’t go under the ship. She couldn’t go round or over so she’d have to go in between the gaps. Between her and Chewie they managed weave there way through and get past the ship.

Rey almost had time to breathe a sigh of relief but the tractor beam had caught them. It was slowly pulling the ship in towards a gaping hole where there would be many troopers waiting for them. They knew the ship well and knew it belonged to Rey so there was no escaping it.

‘Rey?’ Finn yelled as him and Ben left the guns. Rey leapt up from the cockpit and joined them- Chewie and Lando followed. They all racked their brains for ideas on what to do but it was a short while before anyone thought of anything. Chewie voiced his idea which Lando translated.

‘Secret compartments.’ Neither Finn or Rey knew these even existed so they followed Lando who ran to them and lifted the lids. It was just storage space to hide things. The floor fitted perfectly and Rey hadn’t even noticed them. They got into them quickly; Chewie and Lando were in one and Finn, Ben and Rey were in the other.

They heard feet and stormtrooper but they sat silently in the dark. Rey grabbed Ben’s hand and held it. The stormtroopers left after not finding anything but none of the hideaways moved.

‘They must be in there. Go and fetch the thermal scan.’ One of the stormtroopers instructed from outside the Falcon within minutes he had returned.

_Rey, we’re going to be okay. We have force abilities remember._

Ben could clearly sense Rey’s fear. He was calm but was hiding that he was afraid.

_I have you, we’ll be fine._

‘Found them.’ One of the stormtroopers exclaimed and they lifted the lid of Rey’s compartment. She threw the handful of troopers against the wall as quietly as possible and Ben took out the others. They helped Lando out and without a plan left the Falcon. They all knew they wouldn’t be able to get out unless they turned off the tractor beam or took another ship. Together they ran down the ramp with the guns from the fallen troopers only to be met by a lot of troopers.

Rey had seen quite a few in her time but there must have been at least a couple hundreds. They didn’t know they were going to encounter them so how would they know to bring in all these troopers?

There was a tall, skinny, pale man standing very proudly in front of them.

‘Now, if you put your guns down we can do this the easy way.’ The ginger man offered. There were too many troopers to kill all at once. Ben and Rey looked at each other then placed their guns down on the floor. The pasty man grew a thin smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I intended this chapter to be short but it wasn't oops. Seems though the First Order have a new leader! Our little beans were not very happy about that. Hope everyone enjoyed as always <3
> 
> I've also been putting the conversations through the bond in italics which I've only just realised doesn't show so I'll go back and add them for all the previous chapters.


	17. Infuriating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Falcon crew meets Hux and they have to work out how to escape.

This couldn’t be any worse, Ben thought. The five of them were standing at the bottom of the ramp on the Falcon with no escape. And the only advantage they had over the First Order was that Hux was dead, which he turned out not to be. It couldn’t possibly get worse from there. That was until Hux started talking.

‘Well, my favourite vermin it seems like we meet again. Bind them. If you try any of your force tricks, I will retaliate.’ Hux instructed coldly. He was insufferable and Ben didn’t know why he didn’t kill him earlier. The stormtroopers clasped their binders way too tight behind them but Ben wasn’t going to wince from the pain. Then they pushed them down onto their knees.

_Ben, we need to stay calm._

‘So, who have we here. The Wookie who escaped last time. Sorry about helping you, I just wanted him,’ he gestured to Ben, ‘to lose and die. Which apparently, he didn’t. Not to worry, there’s plenty of time to do that.’ He moved onto Finn who met his glare and didn’t even flinch. ‘Traitor.’ Hux cruelly observed.

_Ben, what do we do?_

_I don’t know. Just obey for a minute._

_What?! He’s going to kill us starting with you!_

_We’ll think of something. Plus, we can’t take all of them out at once. Wait until they disperse or something._

‘Kylo Ren.’ Hux spat. ‘You were the very reason I wasn’t the Supreme Leader. I had to sit there and follow your orders dutifully while you avoided actually finishing the war. Now look at you. Going round with this small band of rebels.’ Ben was bubbling but all Hux wanted was a reaction. He moved onto Rey. ‘Ah, finally. The Jedi.’

‘Don’t you go anywhere near her.’ Ben threatened. He wouldn’t let Hux go anywhere near her.

‘I mean that explains everything really. You never wanted to kill the scavenger. Never let anyone else deal with her. Don’t you think that’s a bit pathetic? You’ve killed hundreds maybe millions of people and you think she would ever feel anything remotely nice to you back. You’re delusional Kylo Ren.’ Hux insulted. Ben would explode in a rage of anger if it wasn’t for the pleading eyes of Rey begging him not to do anything. Ben huffed and ignored Hux. ‘Do you have a name Jedi?’

‘Rey.’ She reluctantly replied.

‘Well Rey, you have caused quite a bit of trouble for me. I can’t wait to get rid of you.’ Hux laughed menacingly. Ben was done with this skinny, annoying, pale human. Although he couldn’t move, he focused on Hux’s neck tightening and managed to make him struggle for air.

Hux pointed at Lando and Ben realised too late what he was going to do. The stormtrooper shot Lando in the back so he collapsed on the floor. Ben let Hux go as Chewie roared loudly. It took almost ten stormtroopers to keep him down. The pain was so evident in his voice it made Ben wince. Both Rey and Ben had screamed when the shots were fired.

‘As you can see, we are not messing around here. You do as I say or that happens.’ Hux said coldheartedly after regaining his breath.

‘I’m going to kill you.’ Ben seethed. Lando was moving slightly but they would have to be fast if he was to survive. Hux gestured to the stormtrooper holding Ben up and they violently pushed him so Ben hit his head on the ground. A warm trickle ran down Ben’s face but he couldn’t wipe it off. More flowed and it worried Ben because it came from his head. He met Rey’s eyes and she was horrified but also fuming.

‘So I haven’t yet told you how I survived and I’m sure you would love to hear now.’ Ben decided Hux was just an obnoxious snob who needed to be put in his place.

_You got that right._

Ben smirked then realised that was a big mistake. Hux thought he was smirking at him clearly not realising he can talk to Rey without actually talking to her.

‘What was that Ren?’ Hux hissed.

‘Actually, it’s Ben Solo and I was just laughing about how ugly you are.’ Ben replied seriously. Hux responded by slapping Rey round the face and she didn’t even wince at the pain just locked eyes with Ben.

‘Ren, you never learn. This girl will like you less and less the more things you say to me.’ Hux made known. As if he knew anything about girls.

_Rey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to._

_Just keep your mouth shut._

The look Rey gave him suggested he should listen to her. She had a massive red mark on the side of her face which must have been painful but Rey didn’t show any signs of pain. She wouldn’t though, she was strong and too amazing to.

_Focus on helping me think of a way to get out of here._

Rey may be slightly mad at him and that was fair enough- he should have kept his mouth shut. Ben chose to help Rey think of a way to leave. Hopefully it involved killing Hux but the major concern was Lando’s laboured breathing and they needed to get him to a med bay quickly. He was faced the other way so he couldn’t see his Uncle’s face which didn’t help.

‘Now, I was shot by Allegiant General Pryde for being a traitor but the thing is he was the traitor. He put all the blame on me and shot me. Luckily, the two stormtroopers ordered to carry me away, were faithful enough to slip me into the med bay. I told them the real story and they helped me get off the ship. I found this one and didn’t send it to Exegol along with a few other and now look at the state of the Order. It was once a fine regime that was on the verge on conquering the galaxy.’ Ben sniggered without intention.

‘Wait, no. Don’t do anything to Rey. Hurt me instead.’ Ben pleaded. He knew it was a long shot but he had to try. Rey shouldn’t keep getting hurt because of him.

_Idiot._

Rey definitely felt the same. Unfortunately, Hux ignored Ben and squatted by Rey so he was in eye level with her. She breathed heavily in anger but didn’t do anything.

‘See Ren, it hurts you more when I hurt the Jedi so— ow!’ Rey headbutted Hux and it was a strong one. He flew back several metres after underestimating Rey. The rather surprised man scrambled to his feet. He brushed himself down; smoothing any creases and cleared his throat before saying, ‘interrogate them and then I want to publicly air their executions.’ He stormed off and left the Resistance members with only a hundred troopers.

Out of nowhere, more troopers with tasers came forward. Any option of breaking out between here and wherever they were taking them was not possible. There were at least six troopers following each one and they were all pulled in different directions.

_Ben!_

Rey looked distressed as she was taken in the other direction from Ben. There was also a feral look in her eyes. She would kick someone’s ass and it would be Ben’s if he didn’t apologise for being an imbecile by not keeping his mouth shut.

_I’ll come find you._

_What makes you think you’re getting out first?_

_I’ll race you._

Yes, Ben and Rey were having a competition and a joke when they would be killed in a few hours. Though Ben believed there wasn’t anything they couldn’t get out of. They would both find a way back to each other alive. It helped that they had the bond. They would know what the other is feeling and if anything was majorly wrong. Somehow, they had to disable the tracker still and get back out before they died. Didn’t seem like a hard job.

He was worried that the blame would be put on him. That everyone wouldn’t trust him and think he secretly turned them all in. Ben knew Rey wouldn’t think that but maybe others would. There was no point worrying about the aftermath of the event; they all needed to get out of there alive first.

Admittedly, Ben was worried about Rey. He knew how incredible she was including beating his ass multiple times but it didn’t stop him worrying. Ben couldn’t deal with losing Rey especially after coming back for her. The last thing he needed was Rey to die again and him not be able to save her. He didn’t know whether force healing would actually work and whether he had the strength but he would totally do it for Rey.

_Ben, stop worrying on me and focus on how you’re getting out._

_And you’ve come up with an idea?_

_I was going to use my charm that seemed to work on you._

_Can’t deny that._

_Just be careful. I don’t want to lose you._

_I don’t want to lose you either._

Ben focused on thinking of a way to get out. He read the emotions of the stormtroopers surrounding him. They were angry- livid. Luckily, they were faithful to Hux so they wouldn’t kill him for now. They actually liked him rather than feared him which was a strange approach from Hux.

Hux would never be able to lead the First Order. It would be easier if there was no leader because he had determination and a hatred which increased his want for the Resistance to end but he wasn’t the best at making decisions. He was sly and sneaky and it made Hux a threat even though he didn’t have the highest intelligence.

Ben was glad he hadn’t left the First Order after killing Snoke. As much as he wanted to leave with Rey, Hux would have then been in charge of the new Empire which could have resulted in the end of the Resistance and Rey as he would have just got straight to the point.

Hux would be dangerous with fleets and a planet that could destroy entire systems but because of the lack of resources, Ben wasn’t too worried about the First Order. They never made allies either or tended to avoid it until necessary. This was due to the how unreliable bounty hunters were. They would do the job minimally, get payed then leave. Ben was glad he had the Knights of Ren to do that for him.

_Ben! Answer me._

_Yeah, I’m here. I was just lost in my thought._

_I know, I heard. Was it true?_

_Is what true?_

_That you wanted to leave the First Order._

_Yes, of course it was. It only every brought me pain and suffering. But I couldn’t leave otherwise your safety would be in the hands of Hux and I wasn’t having that._

_You saved my life Ben._

_We’ll talk about it later._

Ben would rather have that conversation in person. It would probably lead to the whole events of the throne room and the forcebond connections prior to that. Ben missed Rey. He wanted her safe in his arms and to never let go but he couldn’t. There were mean people in the galaxy who wouldn’t let him.

They finally stopped walking and reached a cell. It was an individual cell away from everything. Though it was definitely next to the trash compactors because he could smell it. The room was not in its prime condition. It certainly hadn’t been cleaned since the last person had been because there was dried blood around the head rest.

Ben obediently got in and let them tighten the restraints unbearably. There were still too many armoured troopers for him to take out at once.

_Rey, where are you?_

_I’m in a cell. I don’t know where anyone else is though._

_Neither. I haven’t seen anyone. Are you okay?_

_How can I be okay?_

_Stupid question._

The troopers left the room for a few minutes giving Ben time to clear his head. He focused on Rey’s presence which was faint meaning she was far away. She wasn’t scared, she had been through a lot worse Rey was telling herself.

_Rey, you’ll be fine. We’ve been through worse and I’m right here with you._

_You’re here with me. Wait Ben—_

Rey cut off and her presence along with it. Ben panicked. He thrashed in his chair trying to break free when a handful of stormtroopers entered. Much more than Ben anticipated would. When Rey was brought in, the first time they ever met, she was supposed to have three but there was only one trooper on her. Ben here had at least eight. Each wielded a weapon that would be used to get information out of Ben. He tightened in his chair.

He didn’t have enough time to react because something wacked him on the head and everything went black...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I've started back at school again and it’s very stress but I hope you enjoyed this chapter though it wasn't one of my best <3


	18. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben needs to find the other Resistance members then find a way out of the First Order ship.

Ben’s head hurt. From the looks of it, he had been repeatedly beaten. There were bruises and cuts covering his body. These marks ranged in size and were more common than a broken part in the Millennium Falcon. They had hurt him pretty bad by the looks of it though Ben wasn’t in much pain. He was in desperate need of food and drink but other than that, he wasn’t bad.

After Snoke putting him through many years of hell, he actually felt alright after being tortured by the First Order’s elite. It was a sick, twisted way of thinking about it but at least he wouldn’t be the one to give away the Resistance’s location.

He didn’t exactly remember being tortured this time. Usually, Snoke abusing him would play in his head a thousand times over but this time he didn’t really remember. He knew he didn’t give any information and instead had paid attention to the ceiling above him. That hadn’t helped because it was blood stained. What troopers had done to get blood up there, Ben didn’t even want to imagine. 

His thoughts immediately flipped to Rey. Ben still couldn’t feel her presence. Maybe she was unconscious or worse. No, she couldn’t be because Ben would have felt it or noticed that his other half had gone. He shouldn’t be worried because he knew what Rey was like. She was so amazing and talented that she didn’t need him. Rey would probably be helping the others out by now and was too far away for him to feel her.

That led his thought trail to his Uncle who was lying on the floor almost dead. Whether they’d moved him or left him there he wasn’t entirely sure. He wasn’t strong enough to move or be moved so he guessed he would still be lying there. Ben needed him to be alive- not just for him. For Chewie as well. Lando had known Chewie for a long time; well not that long for a Wookie but most of Lando’s adult life. He would be broken if he lost him.

Ben decided that he needed to break out and only had to wait a few minutes before a handful of stormtroopers came in with all sorts of sharp-edged weapons in their hands. Ben was not about go through that all again even if it wasn’t that painful. He just needed to get back to Rey. There were few enough stormtroopers to take out at once so Ben concentrated on their necks tightening.

All at once, they dropped their dangerous bludgeons and grabbed their necks as if it would give them relief. It was less than a minute before they had collapsed on the floor. Ben released himself with a waft of his hands and climbed out the chair. He was a look weaker than he thought. Ben’s legs wobbled like a leaf in the wind resulting in Ben need to cling onto the chair again.

He took a deep breath and regained his strength before picking a blaster of a trooper’s belt and leaving the room. It was very calmly done he recognised. Ben noted it seemed to easy. Take out a few stormtroopers and he’s free. Surely Hux was smarter than that?

The lack of men cladded in white seemed to answer that. Yes, he was. Definitely underestimated Ben as well. Unfortunately, Ben wasn’t very strong. He hoped Rey hadn’t endured all the agony he had. Ben would have avoided it but he couldn’t escape before. Rey was probably smarter than he was.

This ship was new to him so Ben had no idea where to go. He remembered going down lots of stairs therefore he did the opposite. Ben was disorientated and worried he had a concussion from being pushed on the floor earlier or whether someone had hit him in the head with one of the dangerous objects.

Ben found the effort to keep running and eventually found Rey. His heart practically melted at the sight of her. She was so focused but the way her eyes opened when Rey saw Ben made him gleam with happiness.

Rey ran into his arms and almost knocked him over. Ben managed to stay standing but he was so overwhelmed by seeing her again. It had only been a few hours maybe but he had hated every second. Since he’d come back, they had never spent that long apart. Unless one of them was mad at the other- that had happened quite a few times.

For what Ben cared, Rey could hate him with all her guts and if she wanted him to leave, he would but as soon as Rey was sad or needed him, he would be there. Somehow, he cared so much about this girl. Ben knew there were so many reasons to be completely head over heels with her but it scared him slightly that he felt so strongly about her.

He stared at this girl who looked so strong. Rey’s eyes were glowing fiercely with anger and determination but at the same time, her eyes looked soft and kind. Ben noticed a rather large cut on her head- not too unsimilar to his. Ben expressed a concern look.

‘I’m fine.’ Rey breathed. She pulled his face closer to hers as she kissed him softly. Rey had even taken into account that Ben was in pain hence the lighter kiss. She was so caring and cautious. As far as Ben was aware, Rey didn’t even know he was in pain. He must have been showing it in his face or she felt it.

‘We need to go.’ Ben interrupted the sweet moment that swept them away from reality. Like they were up in the clouds where there was no war or violence just peace. Ben enjoyed it there. Unfortunately, there was a war to sort out first. ‘We have to find Chewie, Lando and Finn.’

‘I sorted that out already.’ Rey smirked. Ben was impressed. He had definitely been slow.

‘Did they hurt you?’ Ben asked seriously.

‘You know I can handle myself.’ Rey reminded and proved the point by deflecting a blaster bolt from behind. Ben rolled his eyes and pointed out more stormtroopers. Rey effortlessly defeated them from afar leaving Ben just to stand and watch in amazement.

‘Did they not take your saber?’ Ben gestured to the glowing yellow blade.

‘Yeah, they did but I found it. I escaped and freed Chewie and Finn who went off to turn off the tractor beam then find Lando.’ Rey explained.

‘I hope he’s okay.’ Ben sighed, ‘so you’ve pretty much done everything that needed doing by yourself.’

‘I just had to find you while they went to turn it off. We have a narrow window so we need to go.’ Rey instructed.

‘You weren’t this urgent a minute ago.’ Ben replied but he ran after Rey. ‘You never answered my question.’ Ben observed trying to keep up with Rey.

‘Which one?’ Rey queried as she threw stormtroopers against the wall.

‘Did they hurt you?’ Ben repeated.

‘Ben, you’ve hurt me way worse than anything in there.’ Rey responded quickly- too quickly.

‘Right.’ Ben said. That stung. He knew he had said and done some pretty stupid things in the past but it didn’t make it any less bad when people brought it up. Ben fully deserved the comment but it was unexpected.

‘Ben, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean–’

‘It’s fine.’ It certainly wasn’t fine but they had much more important things to deal with. Multiple times, they went the wrong way but they eventually reached the Falcon. It was guarded by no one but a furry creature urging them to hurry up.

The lack of stormtroopers worried Ben momentarily but he didn’t have to. There were white blots unmoving all over the black floor which in most places was still shiny. The exception was the trails of footprints that congregated by the entrances but dispersed from there. These armoured soldiers were all unmoving looking like they were peacefully sleeping and Ben supposed they were.

None of them were far from their weapons that would have blended in with the floor if it wasn’t for the lack of shine and irregular shape with all sorts of modified grips. Many of the troopers still held their blasters meaning they weren’t shot with much force. It didn’t matter this time though because not a soul had returned to their feet.

It all appeared too easy. But then Ben had been unconscious in his cell for most of it. Rey had done the majority of the work and Ben probably wouldn’t have been able to do all that how she did it. Though, he wouldn’t have brought up Rey’s past while he was trying to not reminisce about the pain, both physically and mentally, from First Order. Ben would forgive her but they had bigger currently.

They all scrambled into the ship and hurriedly took off. Just as they left, more troops materialised in the hangar. Fortunately for the Resistance, they were too late. The tension in the Falcon dropped slightly though it was still incredibly high. They had to yet leave the Kessel Run and jump to lightspeed.

Ben followed Finn and took one of the guns. He asked about Lando and Finn assured him he would be okay if there weren’t any more mishaps. Ben was relieved to hear that he would be fine; not just for him but for everyone else.

Per usual, the First Order threw many TIEs at their ship though not as many as before. Ben was surprised by Hux’s inability to always have TIEs at the ready. It was a rookie mistake and Ben couldn’t believe he’d done it. Especially when he had valuable prisoners on board. Maybe he had just underestimated them.

Ben didn’t have much time to contemplate because the TIE fighters were on them instantly. In addition, the cannons from the ship were firing heaps of shots. It was difficult to manoeuvre but the pilots doing a good job even though all the twisting and turning was making shooting the tiny ships harder.

Finn and Ben were eliminating the TIEs at a steady rate and helping each other out. It made Ben think that Finn wasn’t all that bad. He heard Rey smirk at the thought but ignored her. Ben made it clear in his thoughts that he wouldn’t talk to her. Rey didn’t respond and just continued flying the Falcon. Whether it was her or Chewie in the pilot’s seat he wasn’t sure but it was almost certainly Rey because Chewie always took the co-pilot seat.

Somehow, they managed to get enough of a lead to jump to hyperspace. It was like they weren’t fully trying maybe it was because Hux was been just saving his resources for another fight. Or that they put a homing beacon on. Ben needed to remember to check or find someone to check when they got back.

‘We’re just going to jump out of the Kessel Run and gather our thoughts there.’ Rey yelled through the headpiece. Ben prepared himself and within a minute they were out and into the vastness of space. He climbed out of the chair and up the ladder to check on his Uncle. Finn, Chewie and Rey were discussing what to do while Ben searched for Lando.

He unsurprisingly found him on the bed hooked up to multiple wires. Whoever had done it, had done it with care and with a lot of time. Ben realised he must have been out for a significantly long time as he crouched by Lando.

‘He’s going to be okay.’ A voice behind him said softly. It was Rey. He didn’t even need to turn around because he’d recognise her voice anywhere. Plus, he was still a tiny bit hurt. ‘Ben, I’m sorry.’

‘Good.’ Ben was being hostile but he didn’t really care.

‘I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was very insensitive.’ Ben combed Rey’s mind for a motive behind her apology but found nothing unusual. She felt bad and wanted to apologise. Ben wasn’t suspicious and Rey wasn’t defending her thoughts so he dived a little deeper but saw an image with her and some stormtroopers with not unsimilar weapons to the ones that had been used on him. Rey shut him out.

‘What was that?’ Ben asked. He stood up to stand in front of her.

‘Nothing.’ Rey replied. She hadn’t gotten the hang of lying.

‘They hurt you?’ Ben scowled. Rey had told him that they hadn’t.

‘I told you it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. But what do you expect? I’m a Jedi, what the First Order wants to eliminate. I provide hope. They don’t want that. Of course they’re going to hurt me when they get the chance.’ Rey explained.

‘That’s not okay.’

‘Well, there’s nothing you can do about that.’ Rey scolded. She was wrong, so wrong. Ben could go back and kill every single one of those stormtroopers even if they did nothing to harm Rey. ‘That’s not right. Ben don’t go down that path again.’

‘You’re right.’ Ben didn’t want to give into the anger; that would lead him to the dark side again.

‘Sorry to interrupt.’ Finn joined the conversation annoyingly. He looked reluctant to interrupt but he felt like it was important. ‘Poe needs us to go to Endor.’

‘Endor?’ Ben queried. ‘That’s too far away. We need to get Lando back.’ Ben gestured to his Uncle lying on the bed unconscious. He didn’t look to be in pain but he needed a proper doctor to help him.

‘I pointed that out to him but apparently we’re better to do the job.’ Finn defended. He didn’t seem to happy about it either but was just doing what he was told.

‘Why are we going to Endor?’ Rey asked.

‘There’s been reports of stormtroopers and the First Order so we need to go and check it out.’ Finn replied exhausted. ‘Another ship will come and get Lando. Chewie will go with him back the three left have to go to Endor.’

‘Why us?’ Rey asked.

‘Probably something to do with force abilities.’ Ben deduced.

‘You know Finn is force sensitive?’ Rey was surprised.

‘Yeah. I figured it out.’

A ship eventually came and took away Lando and Chewie went with him. Ben was worried that his Uncle wouldn’t make it home but Rey reassured him with a gentle hug. After they left, the three remaining plotted a course for Endor. Ben still didn’t see why they had to go but they had better odds of survival even if Ben didn’t have a lightsaber.

‘Do you want co-pilot seat?’ Finn asked.

‘You can have it.’ Ben replied nicely. He didn’t mind sitting behind Rey.

‘I don’t know what to do.’ Finn said awkwardly so Ben moved and sat in the seat. Rey gave him a smile and he returned it. Ben guessed they weren’t any problems between them anymore. The stunning pilot checked everything then made the jump after Ben had tested all the necessary parts. Blue streaks flew past indicating they were in hyperspace and Ben breathed a much-withheld deep sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed. I have a little bit of information for you. Chapter count has dropped because I have split the work into two and I'm going to edit the beginning slightly and make it shorter but that won't affect anything in the rest of the fic. I will be posting on Mondays instead of Tuesdays now. Thank you all for reading <3
> 
> It seems Ben is getting a bit overprotective but our little beans are trying to work everything out together even though the galaxy keeps separating them teehee.


	19. Greenery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey, Ben and Finn go to the forest moon of Endor where there are rumours of the First Order.

Endor was so beautiful, so ethereal. There was basically no life and definitely no sign of the First Order but Rey could worry about that in a minute. Green was everywhere except the sky. Even then, there was only a little bit visible because the trees were colossal as they reached for it.

The floor was littered with green after leaves had detached themselves from the giant structures above. It made a weird crunching sound beneath Rey’s feet which was new to her. She wriggled her toes making delicate leaves break. Ajan Kloss had leaves but they didn’t crunch like these did. It was a crisp sound that awakened her senses but would make it hard to stealthily travel on foot.

There were gaps where the sunlight peaked through and haloed the area in a white glow. It was like heaven was actually right in front of her. Rey stepped towards it was immediately blinded by the brightness of the sun. It made her squint and she took a few steps back.

Far away, Rey could see a large planet that dominated the sky. The white, swirly sphere was the main attraction in the sky. There were no clouds to draw a segment of the show away from it. Rey presumed that was Endor- the planet which was orbited by the one she was on.

The forest moon of Endor was very different from Kef Bir which lay in the same system. It made Rey realise how close planets could be but how they could be so different.

‘It’s pretty.’ Ben said. He’d sneaked up behind her somehow dodging all the crackling debris beneath his feet.

‘It’s like heaven.’ Rey breathed. Ben chuckled.

‘If you think this is heaven then I don’t know what you’ll think of places like Naboo or Felucia.’

‘They’re prettier?’ Rey asked amazed. She sounded like a little child getting a gift.

‘Yep. We can go and see them once this is all done.’ Ben offered. ‘I’m sure there are prettier systems that I haven’t heard of as well. Though the prettiest thing in the galaxy, is right in front of me.’ Ben melted Rey’s heart. He moved closer and brushed her lip carefully with his finger before kissing her. He kissed slowly and ran his hands down her body to rest on her hips.

‘Don’t do that.’ Rey scolded ruining the moment.

‘Do what?’ Ben asked slightly agitated.

‘Kiss me like you’re saying goodbye.’ Rey shouted. She may have been completely jumping to conclusions but that’s the impression the kiss gave her. ‘You can’t leave me.’

‘Hey, hey, hey. I’m not leaving you sweetheart.’ Ben replied softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently but firmly enough to make her feel safe.

‘Sweetheart?’ Rey asked surprised. He hadn’t called her that before.

‘Uh yeah. It’s what my Father used to call my Mother and I always wanted to call someone it but I never found the right person until you.’ Ben reluctantly admitted rather fast as if Rey wouldn’t be able to tell what he was saying.

‘That’s so sweet Ben thank you. I guess I was just being paranoid I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay, Rey.’ Ben whispered.

‘I hope I’m not interrupting anything.’ Finn awkwardly interrupted. He stood a few feet away from the couple.

‘No.’ Rey replied kindly. ‘What’s the plan?’

‘So, Poe seems to think there’s been troops seen by the old base. I’m not sure whether we could land there because there didn’t seem to be any clearings. The method of transport around here are bikes and there’s another base a few miles from here where you’ll find some.’ Finn stated.

‘Are you coming with us?’ Rey asked. Finn shook his head and mumbled something about repairs. He gave specific details about where to find the speeder bikes then left Ben and Rey alone. ‘It’s this way I think.’ Rey gestured in a direction which they headed in. She couldn’t think of a way to start a conversation because without one it would be uncomfortably silent.

‘You know you brought me back from the dark side, right?’ Ben had decided to start a discussion that would be painful for the both of them wonderful.

‘It wasn’t all me.’ Rey replied humbly.

‘You made me feel again. All I felt before you was pain and suffering. You made me feel something different.’

‘Like a warm feeling in your stomach.’ Rey finished.

‘Exactly like that.’ Ben smiled. Rey knew it was the dyad but she couldn’t help thinking about how they were so perfect together.

‘We weren’t always this perfect together Rey.’ Ben reminded. Rey knew they weren’t. She had felt like she was betraying the Resistance after not killing him. Then having a connection with him a few days later and working together with him. He had caused so many tears and torment.

‘Rey, I didn’t know.’ Ben apologised. He had been looking at Rey’s thoughts she assumed.

‘It’s fine. I just wished you would have turned earlier.’

‘Me too.’ Ben paused. ‘Most things I said though, I meant.’

‘You mean when you called me… okay I think of anything horrible you told me. Other than calling my friends traitors when the First Order would consider you one now.’

‘I wish I could say the same about you. Murderous snake, a monster.’ Ben endlessly listed.

‘I’m sorry I said those things Ben. But you did deserve them.’ Rey teased.

‘I know.’ Ben replied. They soon reached a brown building that blended in with the trees. It had two speeder bikes outside. On them were two little furry creatures. ‘What are they?’

‘I don’t know.’ Rey replied. She crept towards them slowly and they proudly stepped away from the bikes. They didn’t speak basic and their tongue was unknown to Rey. Though, her knowledge of the wide galaxy was limited. That was due to the fact she was stuck on Jakku for most of her life.

‘I think we’re just meant to take them.’ Ben deduced. They didn’t look as if they wanted any payment but maybe Poe had already sorted it. Rey sat on the far bike and Ben took the closest. She had no idea how to ride it. There weren’t any clear buttons to press.

Suddenly, she jerked forward having found the accelerator. Ben found it moments later and they sped off in the direction that Finn had indicated. Rey was surprisingly good at remembering where she was supposed to be going.

Obviously, she couldn’t head in a straight line as there were tall trunks in the way but she headed mostly in the direction she needed to. If it wasn’t for Jedi reflexes, Rey didn’t know how she would survive. There were many close calls and near deaths experiences; didn’t help that her boyfriend behind her was trying to overtake her. Though, Rey was being tactful and not letting him.

_Boyfriend?_

_You’re distracting me._

_That’s the point._

Rey tried to shove him out her head and did successfully. However, she wasn’t concentrating on the bike so Ben took advantage and overtook her. Rey huffed and tried to regain her place but failed. It was a lot easier to defend than attack Rey had noted. They probably should have taken it more seriously instead of messing around attempting to get in front of each other but oh well.

_That’s not very responsible. Where did good Jedi Rey go?_

It was a blatant try at distracting her but Rey wouldn’t let him win. Unfortunately, a larger distraction came up. Between the tall trees, a big chunk of a construction came into view. As they got closer, it appeared more enormous. Rey soon realised it was a segment of the Death Star. It seemed bits of it was scattered across the Endor system. She should have anticipated that.

Once they were close enough, they stopped their bikes and surveyed the unordinary grey dish in front of them. It must have been leaning on trees on the other side because it was almost vertical. Rey had seen part of the Death Star before and even though this part was smaller, it was still as intimidating.

It was all jagged like it had been snapped which it technically had. The design was so intricate and the size still astounded Rey. That wasn’t the thing that bothered her the most. It was the air surrounding it was drowned in evil and death which was the most pleasant thing.

‘What exactly are we meant to be doing here?’ Rey asked Ben.

‘Looking for the First Order, who aren’t here. There are no signs of them either.’ Ben stated.

‘Do you want to climb up it?’ Rey suggested. There was a little gap that was wide enough to sit on about halfway up. She knew she would be able to climb it because of lots of practice but it would be a challenge for Ben.

Ben smirked as he accepted the challenge and followed Rey. She wasn’t as fluent and nimble as she used to be but was far better than Ben. He was struggling but wouldn’t show it. Neither did he complain when Rey picked up the speed. The footholds she was getting were strong and she double-checked them before relying them to sustain her whole body weight. She presumed Ben was using the holds she was and was fairly close to him.

It wasn’t long before felt the familiar burn in her biceps. Rey hadn’t forgotten the feeling and it was almost funny how this used to be the thing that pushed her to get to the top or bottom of the star destroyer. She’d wanted the ache to go away so she would have climbed faster to get there. Losing her thought track, Rey stepped on a piece that fell away from her feet- she hadn’t double-checked.

A small scream had escaped and alerted Ben. Of course, Rey had done that many times so she was strong enough to know what to do. The worried face that Ben wore was unnecessary. It was like he didn’t believe she could do it. She was the one who had saved them all when they encountered Hux and had everything organised so they were ready to leave by the time Ben had left his cell. Why he needed to worry was baffling.

‘Rey, can you concentrate please.’ Ben asked. He was certainly looking at her thoughts. She pushed through and reached the bit where she wanted to sit. It was wide enough for most of the Resistance to sit on. Rey admired the view from above the tops of the pointed trees.

Ben joined her seconds later and collapsed while taking deep breaths. Rey was too in love with the view to notice. She decided green was her favourite colour. It was a colour she had been deprived from in her childhood. It was a vibrant colour that cleaned the air and supported many ecosystems.

Rey never thought she would be mesmerised by a tall brown thing with some green stuff. Though it turns out she was. Rey would be perfectly happy spending the rest of her life surrounded by them.

‘We can, you know.’ Ben was still out of breath. She lent over him undid her buns so her hair tickled his face then dramatically swiped it back behind her ears. It caused her to lose her balance and slip on the surface. Somehow, she ended up falling off the edge. Another scream came out of her as she desperately tried to grab onto something. Luckily, she found Ben’s hand who pulled her up into his arms. Rey’s breathing was rapid and panicky. Never, had she been that clumsy.

‘It’s okay. You’re safe with me.’ Ben caressed her hair relaxing her. She clung onto his arms digging her nails in. It probably hurt but Ben didn’t give any indication that it did. For year, Rey had been a scavenger but she hadn’t before, slipped to her death. She’d fallen many times and resulted in broken bones though this was different. More stupid and foolish.

‘Finn’s probably waiting for us. We should go.’ Rey said shakily.

‘Give it a minute. I almost lost you. Calm down and then we’ll go back down.’ Ben softly proposed. They waited a few minutes longer before they carefully descended and went back to the Falcon on the bikes. The small natives weren’t there when they arrived so they just left the bikes. It was only a short walk back to the Falcon then they would go home. Ben and Rey made small talk about the trees and the moon itself after being traumatised by Rey’s near-death experience.

Soon enough, they reached the Falcon and boarded it. Finn was sleeping and Rey didn’t wake him though he joined them after they’d jumped to lightspeed. That had woken him up. They discussed about Hux, the First Order and their next move.

A sudden thought materialised in Rey’s mind. If Ben heard it, he didn’t react. It was a dark, twisted one that Rey was praying wasn’t true but she would have to wait until they got back to base…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Poor chapter, I know. I really tried to get this out on time and just managed to do so. Thank you for reading as always <3
> 
> Seems our little beans are a teeny bit too overprotective of each other :(


	20. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns from the mission and a niggling thought turns out to be reality
> 
> TW: there is some violence in this chapter but it doesn't go into too much detail.

Rey touched the Falcon down gracefully on the dusty floor which was Ajan Kloss. The tiny moon that had become her home. A year ago, she hadn’t even been aware of the system she was in let alone this planet. She exited the Falcon making contact with the dry soil.

Ajan Kloss was entirely different from Jakku which had been her previous place of residence- not by choice though. Had she not bumped into Finn and BB8, she would have had to work hard enough so she could earn the money and the food to escape and leave the bland desert.

Though now, she knew she would have never been able to leave; work would have run out before she had he opportunity. Parts were scarce enough and had become more so because of the increasing number of scavengers. She wished she could go back to Jakku and help all the scavengers by giving them a place to sleep and food to eat but the Resistance just didn’t have the resources to do that.

‘You okay?’ Ben asked appearing behind her. He ran his hands through his hair which was still immaculate even after the recent events. Perhaps keeping your hair looking perfect was a force ability Rey had yet to learn. ‘No, it’s just always luscious like this.’ He smirked.

‘Bed hair hasn’t met you.’ Rey agreed. She got terrible bed hair. It was uncomfortable to sleep with three buns in so she wore her hair down and woke up with it looking like the wiring inside the Falcon. Whereas Ben’s looked like he’d already had his hair done by professionals for hours when he’d woken up.

‘What’s wrong?’ Ben asked having sensed something was wrong with Rey. Her twining thoughts gnawed at her mind which she pushed aside out of Ben’s view.

‘Nothing, just a busy mission. Didn’t expect it to go like that.’ Rey sighed. She had a lot of surprises lately including Ben coming to save her then dying and coming back to life so she should be accustomed to them. Though she wasn’t. She hadn’t expected for Hux to be alive. Which she should have anticipated. No one ever seemed to die properly around here. Ben, Palpatine, Hux and then Lando was close to dying but miraculously saved.

‘I’m going to check on Lando. You alright if I leave you?’ Ben asked sweetly. Rey nodded and he gave her a kiss before walking off. Rey breathed deeply and focused on the bird songs above. She needed some space- desperately.

‘Hey, Rey!’ Rose appeared and greeted her gleefully. She smiled at the smaller girl who had presumably come to check on the Falcon. As much as Rey wanted to be alone, she did need someone to talk to.

‘Hi Rose! Have you come to check on the Falcon?’ Rey asked.

‘Um no actually. I came to check on you.’ Rose stated. That hadn’t occurred to Rey. Seemed that she was still getting used to people caring about her.

‘Do you want to go for a walk because I think Finn’s still in the Falcon. Then we can talk.’ Rey suggested. Rose gestured for her to take the lead and she carved a path through the thick greenery to make sure no one followed.

‘Rey, uh why are we going this way?’ Rose asked. She wasn’t complaining but Rey knew she was struggling to get through the dense bushes.

‘Just some privacy.’ Or so Ben didn’t find them.

They reached a fallen tree that had probably been brought down by wind or rain. The lack of burnt bark indicated it hadn’t been struck by lightning which was frequent as trees were the tallest points. Green tips stretched to get sunlight which they drank in greedily. Though they had more sunlight, it meant frequently that they were the easiest paths for the lightning to take causing them to crisp and branches snap and tumble to the floor obstructing any pathways.

Rey had seen it once. She was out enjoying the rain which was a rarity on Jakku as well as many other things. The tree had split with the branches separating from the tree and had fallen scarily close to Rey. Lightning was beauty to Rey, until she almost blew up Chewie and her Grandfather used it to destroy most of the Resistance ships. Not her favourite thing.

She sat on the horizontal log that wasn’t the comfiest but it would do. Rose sat next to her but had nearly tripped over the log due to staring at the height of the green and brown statues.

‘What are we doing here Rey?’

‘I want to talk to you. As a girl, I think you’ll understand.’ Rey explained. ‘Ben is being slightly overprotective.’ Rey looked for a reaction from Rose who would either defend him or insult him but she got nothing. Rose wouldn’t pick a side until she heard the rest of it; she was so unjudgmental and it made Rey very grateful. ‘He keeps trying to protect me when I can take care of myself.’

‘Rey, he cares for you. He doesn’t want to lose you.’ Rose pointed out.

‘I know he doesn’t but I can take care of myself.’ Rey gave details on the mission including how she had sorted everything out by the time he’d just got out his cell proving that she doesn’t need him to protect her. ‘He just overly worries about me when I don’t need it. Yeah, I get its sweet but I lived by myself in a desert for nineteen years, I can handle it.’

‘Maybe you should talk to him about it.’ Rose suggested. She was going for the non-violent, diplomatic approach which wasn’t Rey’s first instinct. Very un-Jedi like.

‘I don’t want him to take it the wrong way. I don’t want Ben to think that I don’t want him around which is not true. It’s just that I can take care of myself and I know I sometimes need Ben like I did on Exegol but most of the time I can deal with my problems.’ Rey expressed. The real problem was still lingering in her head and persisting her to take action but she left it alone.

It was growing and infecting all her thought trains like a virus. It was making her awfully unhappy. She would talk to someone later about it or she was sure it would come up in a conversation. However, she wouldn’t be surprised if Ben found the thought. There was probably a perfect explanation for the thing plaguing her.

‘Rey, I think you just need to talk to him. I can see you’re getting quite distressed about it and you should go and have a nice long bath before the meeting later.’ Rey had forgotten about the meeting. She would need to recount what happened and discuss the issue of Hux. Ben would be there. Oh no, Rey hadn’t been to see Lando yet. She felt terrible.

‘Yeah, I might check on Lando first. Then I’ll go and get changed before the meeting.’ Rey decided. She needed to calm down and relax. Violence was never the answer and Rey was trying her hardest to avoid that.

‘Rey, Lando’s okay. I’m sure he’s aware how much of that mission’s success was due to you and he would understand that you need to relax and take a break.’ Rose assured. She was right even if Rey wouldn’t admit it. They left the clearing together but parted way when they reached the Falcon.

Once Rey got to her room, she flopped on her bed and closed her eyes. It was tempting to go to sleep but it would make her late to the meeting. Coming in late would draw lots of attention that Rey was not in the mood for. She had just been on a mission that got extended and involved everyone almost dying several times. In addition, her boyfriend was being too protective and even though it was cute, it wasn’t necessary. She could manage it all herself nearly all the time.

After dressing herself into clean clothes, she headed to a room where the meeting would be. Ben was in there already with Poe and Finn. There was a seat next to Ben which she took and smiled at him.

_You alright?_

_Yeah, fine._

_Good._

The room filled up with more people than Rey was comfortable with. She just wanted to be alone and in bed but that wasn’t possible. Being the hero of the Resistance came with big prices. Everyone expected her to be happy and bright and hopeful all the time which she wasn’t. It wasn’t humanely achievable to be or even act like that.

_If you want to leave you can._

_It’s fine, I need to set an example._

Sitting through a meeting wasn’t a hard task. Ben again was being caring but it was a bit too caring. Carefully, she concealed her thoughts but not enough for Ben to notice which was the aim. She succeeded as Ben didn’t detect it.

‘Thank you for all being here. The team from the Kessel mission has returned with some shocking news. Finn please tell us what happened.’ Poe instructed. His tone was serious and grave highlighting how there was bad news to come.

Finn perfectly dictated the events and didn’t miss a detail. The revelation that Hux survived cause a roar of mutters increasing the volume of the echoing room. Poe eventually guided the volume back to nothing other than Finn’s voice finishing the story.

Rey sat obediently listening to Finn’s view on their encounter. When he informed the dozens of high ranked officers of their escape, they took it as a loss. From a certain point of view, they were right but they had all survived narrowly and they should be grateful that there weren’t any losses. Rey’s knuckles began to whiten as she clenched her fists. Ben gently peeled her hands apart from each other.

_It’s okay._

_I’d like to see them try and escape that._

_They wouldn’t._

_Exactly. So why do they expect us to?_

_We have force abilities…_

_That doesn’t mean we’re invincible!_

_I know._

Rey was angry. These Lieutenants or whatever were judging their success of their mission when they couldn’t have done any better. That’s the reason they were strategists rather than fighters but still she was certain none of them were force sensitive but they should still know the force doesn’t solve every problem.

_Rey, it’s fine._

But it wasn’t. Rey took some deep breaths. She didn’t need to get angry but she felt like it was right. The urge to force choke everyone in the room was growing at unnatural rate. Still, she managed not to and kept herself under control. Poe droned on about Endor and other matters that Rey wasn’t paying much attention to.

It came to a point where Rey was going to burst so she stepped outside. People stared at her as she left but she payed them no attention. Outside, she paced up and down. Her lightsaber hung heavily on her belt which was eager for action. No, she couldn’t give into the anger.

‘Hey, you alright?’ Ben came out the room and quickly wrapped Rey in his arms. She held him tightly back.

‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ Rey whispered. She thought about everything else so Ben wouldn’t find what she was trying to hide. 

‘Rey, I know you’re not. Your thoughts are racing extremely fast. What are you hiding?’ Ben questioned. Rey didn’t want to talk about his overprotectiveness so she decided to go with her bigger issue; the one that had been annoying her greatly.

‘I think Poe tried to set you up.’ Rey snarled. She was angry and was scared she would snap.

‘How?’ Ben queried. He had a blank expression and spoke without a tone making it difficult for Rey to know how he was going to take her theory.

‘I think he made you come along so that if anything went wrong the blame would be put on you. You weren’t coming until the last minute when Poe changed his mind and I would have thought it was a bit suspicious if I wasn’t a complete mess.’ Rey was relieved to get it off her chest. She was just hoping Ben would tell her she’s insane and there’s no chance it would be true.

‘Yeah, I know. I worked it out.’ Ben sighed.

‘YOU WHAT?’ Rey had to stop as there was a flow of people leaving the meeting room. Ben shielded her from them so they wouldn’t see the graceful, perfect, light Jedi angry, resentful and unforgiving. Rey managed to contain her ferocity until everyone was out of hearing range. ‘It never occurred to you to mention it to me?’ Rey shouted.

‘This is exactly why I didn’t tell you.’ Ben stated.

‘Let’s see what Poe has to say about it?’ Rey stormed past Ben into the room where Poe was quietly discussing something with Finn. He smiled at her which seemed to flip a switch for Rey.

‘YOU SET BEN UP! YOU TRIED TO BLAME HIM AND GET HIM KILLED!’ Rey screamed. She was determined on making someone feel pain. Somehow, Poe began clutching his throat gasping for air. Rey didn’t even know she was doing on purpose.

‘Rey, stop.’ Ben cut in front of her but she waved her right hand which flung her boyfriend against the hard wall. It was then Rey had noticed she was using her other had to suffocate Poe.

Suddenly she blacked out as something hit her on the head, hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I know this chapter is a day early but I was really excited to post it :) I hope you enjoy it and I appreciate all the support I'm getting <3
> 
> Seems that Rey lost her temper a little bit. She has had a lot going on and does need a break :(


	21. Chair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben, Finn, Poe and Chewie discuss what to do about Rey's outburst.

‘WHAT WAS THAT FOR?’ Ben shouted. He looked at his girlfriend lying unconscious on the floor after her so-called friend smacked on her the head with a chair. She had madly attacked and almost killed Poe which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in Ben’s eyes but he was sure she wouldn’t feel the same.

Ben would have stopped her sooner but he was thrown against the wall by Rey. By the pulsing in his head, it seemed he’d been thrown with a lot of force. It was impressive, sure, though she had hurt him. Usually, she would stop after hurting someone which meant this darkness was getting a lot worse than everyone had previously thought.

Yes, Ben had been through this and the last thing he wanted to do was relive it but of course, it was Rey. He’d do anything to help her. The reason he turned to the dark side because he thought he wasn’t loved and felt like everyone had turned against him. That anger grew and consumed his every movement. Whereas Rey, Ben was trying to give everything he had to her; Finn and Poe were doing the same. Why wasn’t it working? Surely she didn’t actually want to turn to the dark side?

‘SHE WAS GOING TO KILL POE!’ Finn yelled back gesturing to the man on all fours trying to regain his breath. ‘Did you know she could do that?’

‘No, I didn’t. I expect she didn’t either.’ Ben confessed. He remembered back to when they were fighting for control of the First Order trooper carrier that supposedly had Chewie in. Out of nowhere, Rey had blue lightning bolts shooting out her fingertips. Neither side of the dyad knew she could do that. Ben had said many times she’d surprised her with her talents but this time it was on another level.

‘Let’s take her to a holding cell while Poe sorts himself out.’ Finn suggested. The man on the ground put a thumbs up to signal that he agreed. Ben picked her up similarly to how he did when he first saw her on Takodana. There were dozens of stormtroopers that could have carried her back but he had wanted to do it himself. He was intrigued by her fiery nature.

Oh how times had changed. Now, he wouldn’t let another lay a finger on her. That was if he could stop them. People had figured out that Rey was his weakness. His emotions towards were so undeniably strong that he wouldn’t be able to hide them to protect her. That was his biggest fear; people using Rey to hurt him.

He followed Finn down endless halls that all had the same wet, damp smell which made the air taste moist even though it wasn’t. Ajan Kloss was a strange place to have a Resistance base. There were no natives but the forests were teeming with life. It was definitely the opposite to Hoth and as far as Ben knew, they wouldn’t survive an air attack like the Rebel Alliance did on Hoth- they didn’t have a shield to protect them.

Down a couple flights of stairs there were some cells that looked like they hadn’t been cleaned since the Resistance had come to the moon. He was not happy about leaving Rey here but he didn’t know what else to do. If she woke up still outraged then at least here she couldn’t hurt anyone.

‘I’ll get someone to keep watch on her just in case.’ Finn said and Ben nodded in response. He carefully laid Rey on the hard floor that was dotted with lichen and moss. The spongy moss wouldn’t provide comfort it would only make her clothes damp. ‘You need to go and get your head sorted out.’

‘My head?’ Ben touched his head and found it bleeding at the back. That would explain the pulsing and the headache. He may even have concussion as well. ‘Okay, yeah. I’ll come and find you and Poe somewhere in the medbay after.’

They shut the door on Rey leaving her alone though she wouldn’t be for long because they would figure out what to do. He desperately wanted to stay with her and check she had no injuries from being hit with a chair. Said chair was still intact somehow.

The medics bandaged up his head and cleaned scrapes and cuts on his back he hadn’t noticed. They hadn’t hurt which worried him slightly but maybe, he’d just been through so much pain he was developing a tolerance to it.

Rey seemed to be developing a tolerance for the dark side which he, as everyone else, was rightly concerned about. The light, bright soul in his life had thrown him against the wall without a second thought. It’s almost as if he hadn’t meant anything to her. She’d chucked him away like a scavenger would a useless part.

However, she hadn’t noticed Finn so maybe she was so intent of hurting Poe she didn’t see anything else but him; fortunately, or unfortunately, depends on how you look at it, he survived. After all, Rey did attack Poe because of Ben so maybe his wavering doubts about her feelings were unnecessary.

Eventually, all his wounds were wrapped and sanitised so he left the med bay seeking Finn and Poe. Chewie would probably be with them as well. There was an awfully large bandage circling around his head which made his impeccably, perfect hair not so perfect. Although, there did seem to be bigger matters than Ben’s hair.

Ben followed many of the weaving corridors but couldn’t find the others; he had to be nice and ask one of the medics where to find them. She was polite and helpful as she pointed him in the right direction. The med bay was extremely big for the total number of people in the Resistance. Though, they were in the middle of a war, so Ben should have probably figured that out.

Finn and Chewie were hovering over a bed which had a conscious Poe on top of the crisp white sheets. The lack of Lando suggested he was still recovering; he had been lucky to survive so Ben wasn’t too surprised about his presence being elsewhere.

Chewie greeted him with a growl but it was a melancholy one meaning he’d heard the story of Rey’s outburst. Ben flashed a grim smile at him before joining them around the centrepiece that was Poe. Not wanting to be close, he stood against the wall leaning on it for support which flared up the tiny grazes that tinged his back pink.

‘What have I missed?’ Ben broke the silence by asking the question politely.

‘Poe’s neck is bruised but not badly. He can talk but it’s not advised that he does.’ Finn stated gloomily. No one knew what to do really. It was treason to overthrow a leader and that was punishable by execution in the First Order. Ben imagined that the Resistance had never come across the issue before because it was a voluntary cause so people wouldn’t consider trying to attack the leader.

‘Who knows?’ Ben choked. He cleared his throat before continuing. ‘Who knows…what Rey did?’ He was trying to be sensitive towards her friends and not blatantly mention that she had tried to kill her friend who was probably fuming. His eyes flitted across the room following the conversation but the X-Wing pilot didn’t contribute.

‘Obviously everyone in here. Then the protection I sent down but they don’t know what happened.’ Finn. So, basically no one. It would be easy enough cover up.

‘All we need to do then is Jedi mind trick the people guarding Rey and then we’re all fine.’ Ben concluded. He didn’t think they were going to take it very well but no one else had put anything forward. Of course, Poe huffed loudly through his nose; looks like he didn’t agree with Ben’s proposal- big shock.

‘Ben, we can’t let her off the hook like that. These outbursts are getting worse and she’s going to kill someone innocent sooner or later. We both know she wouldn’t be able to go through that.’ Finn expressed and Chewie muttered in agreement. Finn placed his hand on Poe’s head and began speaking again. ‘She almost killed Poe. She has to face, a punishment.’

‘What do you have in mind then?’ They had no idea what Rey was going through. The last thing they needed was for people to be scared and turn their backs on her. Ben wouldn’t though. No matter what happened he would be there for her.

‘Well, we can’t force her to leave.’ Finn started.

‘FORCE HER TO LEAVE?!’ The statement threw Ben of the cliff or reason. ‘The fact that you’re even considering that is insane. That girl, saved the Resistance and the galaxy from Palpatine who also turned out to be her Grandfather. If there is anyone who has a reason to do what she did it’s Rey.’ Ben paused. No one was disagreeing yet. ‘She has been through more in the past few months than you all have in your lifetime and yes, maybe I’m biased but having force abilities is not always a positive. You open yourself up to the light but also the conniving darkness that is there for you in your darkest time when no one else is. We will get her through this. If not, then that’s on me.’

‘I understand where you’re coming from Ben but she tried to kill Poe. Who knows what would have happened if I wasn’t there. I suggest we put her under the protection of guards who are on hand all the time in case she loses it.’ Finn proposed. Poe made a noise in agreement.

‘You’re completely missing the point. If Rey knows you fear her, then she’ll think you’re turning on her. Doing that will on make things worse if you treat her like a wild animal. Plus, do you want the rest of the Resistance knowing that they’re star is having some issues. Surely that would cause disarray?’ Ben thought he had done quite well making his point. He even had another solution. He was just so desperate for her to be okay.

‘You have made a fair point Ben. What do you suggest we do?’ Finn had agreed with Ben finally and let him voice his opinion. Somehow, the man lying on the bed didn’t protest either- a miracle.

‘I think we should place her under protection. But my protection. I can protect her as long as she’s with me.’ Ben assured.

‘Did a great job back there.’ Finn scoffed. He rolled his eyes and looked at Poe for a few seconds as if they were having a private conversation through there eyes. Which they weren’t because they weren’t a dyad like Ben and Rey.

‘I was caught off guard. We’ll act like nothing’s different. I’ll try even harder to train her to channel her emotions and to keep calm. We just can’t tell Rey that I’m secretly protecting her. I’ll hide my thoughts from her.’

‘She can hear your thoughts?’ Finn questioned. Rey clearly hadn’t given them much detail on the dyad and Ben wasn’t about to expose all the pros and cons of it. The conversations they had in their heads could be their secret. They didn’t need her interfering friends knowing.

‘Yes, we can hear each other’s. We can feel each other’s presences as well. As our relationship gets stronger, the bond does as well. It continually expands and we find we can do new things we couldn’t before.’ Ben wouldn’t elaborate anymore because frankly, it wasn’t their business. ‘If I protect her, I can stop her with force abilities before she does any harm to herself or anyone else. I won’t fail.’

Ben wasn’t sure whether he was trying to reassure the others or him. Either way, he’d follow through on his promise because he couldn’t deal with letting her fall. It wasn’t an option. He couldn’t lose her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not posting last week. I got caught up wiht school, tests and my birthday. It was a very hectic week! Thank you for all the support and I hope I can continue to deliver <3


	22. Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a chat about her losing control, although it doesn't entirely go to plan.

That was the plan. Ben had singlehandedly put all the responsibility of Rey’s downfall to the dark side in himself. As much as he disliked it, he wouldn’t want anyone else to interfere; Rey would be intelligent enough to notice that they’re scared of her. 

It was horrible. Rey’s friends were afraid of her; she made them feel fear. All because of some ability that wasn’t her choice to inherit. Again, it was something she could blame at hate her Grandfather for. He had messed up her life and her chance of happiness multiple times- as well as Ben’s. 

They were both so unlucky to be born into families that carried such burden and baggage. Yet it was another thing they had in common. Something to add to the endless list of reasons why they were so similar. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was because of the dyad or maybe it was the reason why there were a dyad. But the two force users were almost alike in every way- it brought them together. 

Though there past were very near parallel, they were on two different sides of the never-ending war. They were so lonely and then found each other within all the carnage. The pair had to painfully leave each other many times but Ben saw the light and could spend the rest of his life with her. 

Before, Ben hadn’t felt kindness in years and almost crumbled under after receiving tiniest bit of Rey’s. He yearned to be with her but couldn’t be. Ben hadn’t had a taste of what it was like to be with her. Now, if she left him, it would be ten times worse because he had been with her. Trusted her, cared for her. It would break him if she turned, so she couldn’t.

Rey was in a room still; at the bottom of many flights of stairs. Ben and Finn were on their way to collect her and let her free. Finn was still uncertain and Ben could feel his nerves. On the other hand, Ben was calm. He knew she wouldn’t hurt them. Although, he had been certain she wouldn’t before and they saw how that turned out. But she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t do it again. 

Ben went first along the corridor with a man, reflexes ready, grip on a native weapon waiting at the end. He too, was scared of the girl inside. They reached the end of the corridor and the man greeted them. 

‘Do you know who’s in there?’ Ben asked after exchanging greetings. Finn unnecessarily tensed behind him. 

‘No, Sir. I wasn’t informed.’ The guard politely replied. It seemed someone had the decency to keep the matter private- most likely Finn. 

‘Okay, you’re dismissed.’ Ben said coolly. Behind him, Finn nodded instructing the man to follow Ben’s guidance. He’d maybe forgotten that he didn’t have authority like that. ‘Thank you for keeping this quiet.’ Ben mentioned to Finn inaudibly to the man who was halfway down the corridor. 

‘It’s fine. Let’s just make sure she’s okay.’ Finn expressed. Ben didn’t understand why he was so frightened of her. He was sure Rey was more scared of herself than he was. 

They opened the door to the cell and found Rey sitting on the floor crying. Her head was between her knees so her face was hidden but her weeps were audible and practically shattered Ben’s heart. He tried to search her mind and get an indication of her emotions but she was shutting him out. That meant she knew they were there but hadn’t acknowledged their presence. 

Finn loudly closed the door behind them. It wasn’t as if she was a virus or evil demon that would kill everyone if she escaped. Again, Finn’s fear was irrational and taking control of him. It wasn’t needed. The last thing Rey needed was to find out everyone feared her. He couldn’t stress it enough, and apparently didn’t, that there was no reason to be petrified. 

‘Hey, Rey. Are you okay?’ Ben softly asked. He squatted down and edged closer to her not wanting to be intrusive. She didn’t respond. Ben didn’t want to move any closer because he didn’t want her to think he was trying to hurt her. By no means was he scared of her. 

‘Go away.’ A muffled voice came from the human ball still insistent of not lifting her head. Ben turned to Finn who pointed to the door and walked out. He thought the problem was him or maybe he didn’t want the problem to become him. 

‘Rey, I’m not mad.’ Which was true. ‘I just want to talk.’ When there was no response, he huffed and sat down on the strangely damp ground. Everything around here just seemed to be moist. 

‘I hurt him. I hurt you.’ Rey choked. She lifted her eyes to meet Ben’s. He cupped her chin in his hand so she didn’t break the contact. Her lips parted slowly unintentionally inviting him to kiss her but he wouldn’t, not while she was like this. That wouldn’t be fair on her. 

‘Rey, Poe’s fine. I’m fine too.’ Ben was maybe underexaggerating Poe’s condition but he wasn’t going to tell Rey that. 

‘I could have killed someone.’ Rey sobbed.

‘But you didn’t.’ Ben pressed. He was adamant on Rey seeing that she wasn’t the monster she thought she was. It was almost parallel to when they first met and when she came to save him from Snoke, she showed him that he wasn’t who he thought he was. There was light inside him. The darkness was just too strong and Ben didn’t try hard enough to get rid of it though he had now. 

‘That’s because I was stopped. I didn’t have control of myself. I couldn’t help it. It was like there was someone possessing me.’ Rey expressed. There wasn’t someone possessing her. Ben had thought the same. She didn’t think there could be anything done to stop it. In Ben’s case, there wasn’t but there had to be, somehow. 

‘Rey, Finn knocked you out by hitting you with a chair. Not what I would have done personally but I had been thrown at a wall and he was the only one you weren’t attacking.’ Shock spread across her face as she realised, she had completely lost control. 

‘I hurt you, I hurt Poe. I keep hurting people. I can’t do it.’ Rey cried. It had fully hit her, like the wall she threw Ben against, that she had done all of it and it was her fault. Ben wouldn’t admit it was her fault to her but she could have stopped it though Ben was in no place to criticize because he did exactly the same. 

‘Rey, it’s okay.’ It definitely wasn’t. ‘We can fix this.’ Ben convincingly said. 

‘Ben, I’m broken. You can’t fix me.’ Rey whispered. She had lost all hope in herself. The girl who woke up every morning as a slave and worked tirelessly only to be still hungry by the time she fell asleep again. The 19-year-old who had waited endless years for her parents to come back and she never lost hope in them. 

Rey couldn’t lose hope after everything. She was always hopeful. After all, she had been one of the figures to bring him back to the light. The whole war, she was the shining figure of hope who would defeat the evil Kylo Ren and then the Emperor in addition. Both of those she did and did it amazingly. 

Now, she was left hopeless in herself after repeated episodes of ruthless evil. It took all Ben had not to break. He couldn’t have her lose hope in herself. She needed to stay strong and fight this. The galaxy was almost at the end of a war, the last thing it needed was a Sith running around the galaxy. Especially, a dangerous one. 

‘Rey, you can’t. You can beat the darkness.’ Ben pushed. 

‘Ben, I’ve already lost.’ 

‘You haven’t! You can keep fighting!’ Ben shouted. She was giving up so easily; succumbing herself to a life of pain and turmoil. 

‘Ben, I can’t.’ 

‘Yes, you can! You have the right people around to help.’ 

‘Oh do I? I can feel Finn quaking outside the door. My own best friend fears me.’ Rey yelled. 

‘I don’t.’ Ben said plainly. 

‘I know.’ Rey breathed. Her eyes fell to the floor; Ben knew she felt bad. She’d just implied that Ben didn’t care about her. He wasn’t mad, it just highlighted that maybe he needed to put more effort with her. Though how, he wasn’t sure. He’d already given her 100%. ‘Ben, it’s not your fault.’ 

‘I can’t lose you.’ Ben confessed. 

‘It’s me. I’m the problem.’ 

‘I can help you. Just don’t give up. We can start now or tomorrow, whatever you want. Just promise me to keep fighting.’ Ben was in despair and Rey saw it. She saw how unstable he was and agreed to it. That moment alone had proved to her that he really cares about her. The avid fear in his eyes was enough to prove he would go insane if he lost her. 

‘I promise.’ Rey’s hand slipped into Ben’s. He wasn’t calm but he was less panicked than he was a few moments. Ben lifted a hand to wipe a hand the tears on her cheek still trickling from their outlet. 

‘Do you want to get out?’ Ben queried. Rey nodded and he offered a hand to help her up but she scoffed at it and got up herself. Guess his Rey was still there. 

Finn was waiting patiently outside. He looked startled and uneasy when Rey emerged from behind Ben’s large frame. Finn didn’t say anything to Rey and she didn’t start a conversation so it was left to Ben. 

‘We’re just going out for a walk.’ Ben stated. He rushed off to cut out the awkwardness and Rey followed. He led her through the forest, a different way to usual, and eventually found a clearing. 

There wasn’t anywhere to sit so Ben took a seat on the floor and Rey did the same. It wasn’t wet and if it was it wouldn’t be a problem because there was a layer of green turning brown foliage. 

‘I’m sorry, about your head.’ Ben had noted that Rey hadn’t apologised but he wasn’t massively bothered. 

‘It’s fine Rey. Don’t worry about it.’ Ben assured. 

‘What are we meant to do?’ Rey still sounded down and not quite like herself.

‘We’ll figure it out.’ Ben didn’t like admitting he didn’t have a plan. ‘Do you want to meditate or something else?’ 

‘I have an idea in mind.’ Rey smirked. Her smile had only been absent form him for a few hours but those few hours had been horrible. 

‘And what would that be?’ Ben chuckled. Rey opened up her mind to him and he saw loud and clear what her intentions were. He only had time to blink before Rey’s mouth was in his. The kisses were hungrier every time wanting more and more. Rey reached for Ben’s top and they paused for a second regaining their breath while the top went over Ben’s and on the ground. 

‘You’re sure you want this?’ Ben asked as he took Rey’s complicated white outfit off her. That was not how Ben had planned for that talk to go but either way he wasn’t going to complain. 

‘Absolutely.’ Rey said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for this being a few days late! I may come back later and tidy up this chapter but we'll see. So, Rey and Ben may have created more problems than they solved this week :) but I hope you all enjoyed it <3


	23. Labelled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey figure out their emotions are much stronger than they anticipated and Rose pushes Ben to do something he’d forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the long gap between this chapter and the last. I’ve been really busy and have had no time to write.
> 
> I also need to edit this chapter more hence the unorganised state of it.

‘Rey, what’s this?’ Ben asked. He’d picked up a tattered black jumper stuffed down the side of Rey’s bed. Rey turned to see her secret that she had entirely forgotten she had. Red spread like wildfire across her cheeks subsequently making her gaze at her feet to hide her embarrassment.

‘It’s um, yours.’ Rey squeaked. She briefly looked up to Ben who held the material loosely in his hands.

‘I can see that.’ Ben pointed out. ‘From Exegol?’

‘Yeah. I needed something that was yours. You had just died in my arms and your jumper was all that was left.’ Rey stated. The hurt was evident in her voice and that she was upset about it even though Ben was there and unharmed. ‘I slept with it every night. It smelled like you and it made me feel safe.’

Ben sighed. He had no idea that she felt emotions that strongly for him before he returned from the dead. She had managed to push past all the evil he had done so easily she was almost ignoring it. Ben was having a harder time coming to terms with his actions and maybe he never would. He was so callous and barbarous that he should never be able to forgive himself, manipulated or not.

‘Ben, no.’ Rey had heard his thoughts. ‘Don’t think about it.’

‘Why not? I need to. I made mistakes and I have to take the consequences. The worst thing is that I don’t remember all my victims faces. I killed people and there are families at home still grieving and I don’t remember their face. That’s not right.’ Ben snarled. He wasn’t furious at Rey as his anger portrayed; he was mad at himself.

‘Ben, it’s okay. You don’t need to be mad at yourself.’ Rey assured. She rubbed his arms then wrapped them around his back and engulfed his scent.

‘I do. I deserve it.’

‘You don’t. Don’t do this to yourself. It’ll take you down a dark path.’ Rey reminded. It shouldn’t be this way. Ben should be helping her.

‘No, this is wrong. I need to be helping you. You’re the one fighting this darkness. I promise you I won’t make the same mistake I did many years ago. I will help you.’ Ben pushed.

‘Ben, it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t need to worry so much.’ Ben sighed. He definitely needed to worry this much. It wasn’t right to tell Rey she was blatantly wrong because it would scare her but she had to be aware of how dangerous she could become.

‘Rey, we have to learn how to control this. You can’t turn to the dark side.’ How they got from a jumper to the dark side was beyond Ben.

‘I won’t!’ Rey sneered. Her heart began beating faster as the blood pumped fire around her body.

‘Rey, please relax. You’ll hurt someone.’ Ben softly asked. She nodded and took a few breaths managing to control herself. Rey then threw a look at Ben and exited the room.

Her thoughts were all pointing towards the fact that she was okay. Ben knew she’d purposely done this to prove that to him. Though still, he worried. He had no choice; Ben couldn’t lose her. He needed her more than a plant would water and sunlight. Without her, he was sure he would slowly wear away and die.

It had not been the best morning. A conversation from finding a clump of black material had turned into an argument where Ben found out Rey doesn’t think there’s anything wrong. Maybe she did but she was so scared she wouldn’t admit it. Ben huffed and dropped the jumper on the floor before going out to find Rose.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Rey was sure she was fine. She knew she had everything under control. Actually, she didn’t but she wasn’t going to let Ben know that. He had only ever seen her as his equal in the force: strong, intelligent and powerful. She was not about to let him see the inner struggles of her darkness. It was certainly growing. It was dormant and would explode out like a volcano bringing chaos and destruction.

If it was anything, it was embarrassing. Though, Rey had managed to get through everything else by herself so she was certain she could this. It was only a little anger that could be controlled by extra meditation. Plus, if this whole grey Jedi thing was going to work, she would have to embrace some aspects of the dark side. Well, maybe embrace was a bit far but definitely acknowledge. With this struggle, she could figure out what parts of the dark side weren’t as bad as they seem. Force lightning was undoubtedly out of the question.

Ben would help her but she didn’t need it. Rey could get through this by herself. Everything else she would involve him with but this, the dark side, was a personal problem. Meditation would help her be closer to the light so she decided to practice for a while. A few hours maybe more would be all she needed.

‘Hey,’ Rey turned around caught off guard and raised her glowing yellow blade in defence. Once she saw it was Ben, she relaxed and flicked the blade. Those few hours had passed quicker than she thought.

  
—————————————————————————————————————————————————

‘Rose, I need your help.’ Ben muttered calmly.

‘I need yours first. I can’t figure how so many TIE-Fighters fit in such small hangars.’ Rose sighed.

‘You’ve got the dimensions wrong.’ Ben kindly corrected them fixing the problem.

‘Don’t think you’re done now Solo. You have a lot of making up to do.’ Rose reminded. She emphasised on the lots making it sound like Ben was a toddler who was unaware of their wrongdoing. Ben definitely knew that wasn’t true. He could live 1000 years and not make up even half of his wrongdoing but that wouldn’t stop him trying.

‘Okay, what’s next then.’ Ben helped Rose for many hours filling up gaps and fixing mistakes. The Resistance knew so little about the First Order. Though apparently still enough to destroy most of it.

Ben dedicated a couple of hours to helping Rose figure out size and volumes of different ships as well as where the weak spots were. Rose was kind and patient with Ben; something he didn’t expect from anyone other than Rey. It wasn’t just kind and patience, Ben sensed Rose appreciated him. Again, something he hadn’t felt from anyone other than Rey in a long time.

Appreciation as well as validation was something Ben desperately sought for. He searched for it as a Jedi would a relic. He had a strange lust for it that had originated from a lack of gratitude when he was younger. Snoke gave him little leaving him hungry and trying to impress him but it never got him the praise he wanted.

All he ever was, was a chess piece never realising there was a player who moved each piece. Unaware of a plan that would end with his demise. Though in an act of love, he was saved. Allowed to have another chance and regain the opportunity to save the galaxy.

Rose seemed interested not just to know about the First Order but about Ben. She was careful about not asking anything to personal and Ben didn’t sense that she was nervous or feared him at all.

‘You’re not scared?’ Ben pointed out. He could read her emotions but he didn’t want to pry in her head.

‘Of what?’ Rose didn’t look up from the datapad she was writing on.

‘Me.’ Ben lent against the table awaiting and answer.

‘Why would I be?’ Rose calmly answered. She seemed blissfully unaware of the aura of fear from the rest of the people in the room. Of course, she wasn’t force sensitive but surely she would notice.

‘You know who I was, it was the First Order that killed your sister.’ Rose winced at the mention of her sister. Ben should have been more careful.

‘I believe you’ve changed. Yes my sister did die because of the organisation Kylo Ren lead but I don’t believe them and you are the same person.’ Rose lifted her head up from the tons of informations stored on a tiny square. Plus, you are trying hard, I can see that, to help in whatever way you can. I can see you care for Rey and that you try to be what she deserved but as her friend, she deserved the literal galaxy. Not like take over the galaxy for her, that’s the last thing she needs.’ Rose chuckled but was half-serious as well. Her words meant so much to him. It gave him hope that he could actually make a galaxy a better

‘She’s mad at me.’ Ben admitted.

‘Oh, what have you done Solo?’Rose rolled her eyes.

‘She was denying that she was fighting this darkness and it got a little heated so she ran off.’ Ben sighed.

‘Did you go and find her?’ Rose asked acting like it should have been the first thing he’d done.

‘No, I wanted her too cool down.’ Ben ran his fingers through his hair.

‘Well, I think she’ll have cooled off by now so go and fine your girlfriend. She is your girlfriend right?’ Rose questioned.

‘I mean I call her that so yeah sure.’

‘Please tell me you asked her.’ Rose sounded disappointed. Ben thought she was far too dramatic.

‘Well not exactly.’ Ben gingerly confessed. By the look on her face he should have. ‘How many girlfriends do you think I’ve had? I’m not equipped for this type of thing.’ It was useless trying to defend himself it didn’t seem to make Rose any less discontent.

‘Ben, you need to ask her. You know what, I’m going to stop lecturing you. You want Rey to be your girlfriend yes?’ Rose pressed. Her voice was raised slightly, probably unintentionally, but it made people turn their attention.

‘Of course I do.’ Ben breathed. It was the easiest thing he’d asked her all day and she had asked him lots of questions about ships he’d studied for years.

‘Then go and ask her.’ Ben was going to say more but Rose beat him to it. ‘Thank me afterwards. Now stop wasting time!’

Ben smiled and ran off following the eloquent ray that her future-girlfriend gave off.

That’s when it came to him. He’d got out the doors of the man hangar, the humid air hitting his skin, when he realised that he had doubts.

Not Ben himself, he didn’t have doubts that he wanted Rey. But what if Rey didn’t want him? He mulled over the possibility of Rey’s lack of congruity regarding their feelings for each other.

But Ben had nothing to lose. He had died and came back. He was lucky enough to have a second chance so he would make use of it. Maybe nerves was a good thing. Surely everyone would be just as nervous as he was when they asked their everything to be their girlfriend.

Ben was equally the most powerful force user in the galaxy. Grandson of Darth Vader and daughter of Leia Organa. He was worried about asking a scavenger from a remote planet to be his. Fate was strange.

Ben found Rey sitting peacefully wandering through the force. She hasn’t sensed him yet or if she had, Rey hadn’t acknowledged Ben. She hadn’t sense his unease either.

‘Hey,’ Rey was startled by Ben’s appearance indicating she hadn’t felt his presence. ‘You didn’t see me coming?’ She shook her head and reattached her lightsaber to her belt. ‘Are you okay?’ Ben softly asked.

He moved closer running his hand against her cheek and both of them relaxing under the contact.

‘Ben, I’m fine.’ Rey reassured and placed a hand on top of his grasping it gently. They’d been apart a few hours and whatever argument occurred that morning was forgotten. There would be a time to talk about that later.

‘You’re not. I can feel it.’ Ben sighed. He lifted Rey’s chin so his eyes met hers. Her beautiful colour-changing eyes, green in the sun and brown in the dark, met his. ‘What can I do?’

‘Nothing. There’s nothing wrong.’ Rey pressed. They grew closer, so close he could feel her hot breath on his face.

‘How long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?’ Ben whispered solemnly. Rey dodged his eyes and just pressed her lips to his instead. She was hungry. Hungry for him. Acting as if this was a goodbye kiss but no, it was only the beginning.

‘Yes.’ Rey panted. Ben thought she was asking for more, pleading for him to take her, right here, right now. ‘I’ll be your girlfriend.’

Ben smirked. She secretly wound herself into his mind distracting him with a kiss.

‘You didn’t even let me have a chance to say what I wanted to say.’ Ben sulked. He’d planned out a whole speech on the way to Rey in which he would graciously declare his desire to be his boyfriend.

‘I’ve already seen it.’ Rey giggled. Ben couldn’t argue. Instead, he admired the face of his girlfriend. ‘We are different, aren’t we?’

‘Force sensitives never have it easy. You and I seem to have it a lot harder than most of the stories. But I’m sure, whatever heads our way, we can take it on. You and I combined, we could take the galaxy if we want to.’

‘Ben, don’t get any Skywalker ideas in your head.’ Rey scolded.

‘We can make our own story instead.’ Ben concluded. He held his girlfriend in his arms feeling the beat of her heartbeat and unintentionally syncing his breathing rate to it.

‘Oh no! Ben we need to go to Poe. We have a meeting. They’re planning an attack.’ Rey frantically remembered. She didn’t even give Ben a chance; just dragged him with her back towards base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’m back. Hopefully regularly again but we’ll have to see :) Hope you have enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Our little beans are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend, it’s so exciting!!!


	24. Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance attack a shipyard on Ord Mantell.

They were late. Well, they knew that. Rey giggled like a misbehaved child before she entered the busy room. Ben was behind her and followed her closely in.

‘Nice of you to join us.’ Poe reprimanded. He looked a lot better since the last time he’d seen him. His neck brace was off and he was clearly well enough to talk. If there was bruising, it wasn’t visible because of the high-necked top he was wearing. Ben felt Rey wince slightly at the thought of her deeds and Ben placed a careful hand in her so she knew he was here. They both took their seats and tried to ignore everyone’s blatant stares at them.

‘What did we miss?’ Ben asked. He had a boyish grin on his face that displeased Poe and Finn- probably everyone else as well.

‘We have just told everyone that Hux is back and are deciding our next plan is. Any ideas Solo?’ Finn had an undertone of annoyance which Ben had no idea the reason for.

_Be sensible…_

_I am. You need to watch that you don’t get heated again._

Ben earned himself a kick from under the table after that comment. It was a well deserved one. He probably shouldn’t have said it but he was only teasing Rey after all. Though, it could have sparked her into a rage of anger but he was glad it didn’t.

‘It would be better retaking planets one by one instead of going for their big fleets.’ Ben proposed. ‘We could cut off supplies and stop them making more ships or troops so they’ll fight themselves for basic necessities.’ Poe and Finn did not look too pleased with Ben’s proposal. He supposed that he was right and they were aggravated by him strolling in late with their star player and just fixing the solution.

‘That sounds like a great idea.’ Rey contributed and rubbed his thigh under the table. He smiled at her and the corners of her lips turned up to match his.

‘So how do you propose we do that then?’ Finn questioned with the same undertone as before.

‘Well, what about a shipyard, a big one. We go in and blow it up so all the fleet they have on the ground so they begin to fear us.’

‘We don’t work that way. We don’t rule by fear.’ Poe stated.

‘I didn’t say rule. If they fear us it gives us and edge and they’ll either hide or irrationally attack. If they hide, we have time to build up numbers and if they irrationally attack, they’ll have no plan and we’re more likely to win.’ Ben sat back in his chair letting the other leaders process his projection.

‘I mean, that is a good idea Ben.’ Finn admitted. Ben was pretty smug and evidently so. ‘Do you want to lead this one?’

‘Not this time. Maybe another.’ Ben rejected. If anything went wrong, he didn’t want the blame on him. It might be selfish of him but everyone hated him enough; he didn’t need anymore.

‘Poe, do you want this one?’

‘We’ll lead it together.’ Poe answered. Ben sensed something was off between the two generals. Perhaps they’d had an argument. About him or Rey or something else? He wasn’t sure. Prying in their minds didn’t seem like a great idea either.

‘We will meet in an hour to discuss a plan with everyone. Prepare the ships, fuel up the bombers. We’ll leave this evening.’ Poe instructed. ‘We work as a team. Everyone is equal.’ Poe added. Obviously aimed at Ben. The Resistance was also a lot fairer than the First Order but he was certain Rey would not be equal to a maintenance worker.

Everyone left the room but Rey was still sat in her seat. Ben sensed she wanted to talk to Poe. Ben didn’t think it would be a good idea to let her do that by herself so he hovered by the door while the rest of the people in uniform left.

‘Poe?’ Rey wanted his attention but her voice was small.

‘Yeah?’ There was a cold undertone that Rey would have picked up on as Ben did. Ben would have reacted but had someone attempted to strangle him, Ben would have killed them on the spot regardless of who they were. Rey, of course, was the exception per usual. She always had been, she always will be.

‘I want to apologise. I lost control. I promise it won’t happen again. Can we move on and be friends again?’ Rey politely asked.

‘Rey, you could have killed me!’ Poe shouted. The evidence of damage to his throat was there as it came out as a croak reminding Rey of her actions.

‘Don’t you think I know that?’ Rey pointed out. ‘Your voice, your face, this room. It makes me want to lose control again. I can’t, I won’t lose control of myself again.’

‘We all know that’s not true.’ Poe sneered. Both Finn and Ben tensed up at Poe’s comment. He had the right to be angry; he had the right to not forgive her but that, was one step too far.

‘Leave it.’ Rey calmly gestured towards Ben and Finn recognising that she felt their change in emotion. Rey was still calm even if Poe was unthinkingly provoking her. He could have been doing it on purpose but it could end in his demise by either side of the dyad. ‘Ben, drop it.’ Ben sighed and relaxed as instructed. ‘Don’t provoke me Poe.’

‘I’m not. I’m simply stating the truth. You can’t keep yourself in check. I don’t know what will because whatever you’re doing isn’t working. You’re a monster. You need to sort yourself out or leave.’ Poe nastily advised. He stormed out the room but Finn didn’t follow.

Ben was by Rey’s side immediately. He was hesitant to touch her in case she didn’t want it. Finn was wary of her too.

‘Look at the both of you. You don’t want to come near me. You’re scared. Just like everyone else. Maybe I am the monster Poe thinks I am.’

‘No.’ Ben sternly butted in. He quickly wrapped his arms around her helping her cool off. ‘We’re not. I won’t let you believe that.’

‘Rey, we love you. Poe didn’t mean it. He was just angry that you almost killed him. It wasn’t your fault.’ Finn protested.

‘But it was!’ Rey sobbed. ‘It was from me. I need to go. Go away for a while. Poe was right.’

‘We can finish this war or if you want to go away, we can.’ Ben answered.

‘No, I need to go alone.’

‘Just stay please. We can work this out. We always do.’ Ben pleaded.

‘Okay, fine. But if I hurt anyone else, I’m leaving.’ Rey stressed. They both nodded.

‘I’d go with you.’ Ben firmly stated.

‘No.’

‘We can discuss it when it comes to it. Do you want to go train for a few hours before they get ready for the invasion?’ Ben asked diverting the conversation away from Rey leaving. No one wanted to think about that.

‘Sure. I’ll see you later Finn.’ Finn waved as the couple left the room and headed for the green foliage.

Because it wasn’t hot enough apparently, Rey dragged Ben on a jog. They hopped over broadening crevices and leaped over tumbling ravines. It tired Ben out quickly. Within a few miles he was red and puffing. Once they circled back round to the clearing, Ben collapsed on the floor gasping for air whereas Rey didn’t even look pink in her cheeks.

Without thinking, Ben lifted layers off in order to cool him down. He shut his eyes and begged for more air to enter his lungs and travel through the viscous blood to his muscles. These muscles, especially his thigh muscles and calves, burned and ached as if he had run the length of a star destroyer.

‘Unfit.’ Rey scoffed leaning up against the tree intaking some water which she threw to him she was done. He swallowed the droplets of water like a poor child would rations.

‘I don’t like running.’ Ben huffed. He lay on the floor still not wanting to get up because it was less humid and not as warm.

‘How you managed to lose any fitness but not your abs amazes me.’ Rey sighed.

‘My abs amaze you?’ Ben smirked smugly. Rey rolled her eyes and grabbed a branch off a nearby tree.

‘That’s not what I said. Come on, get up and spar with me.’ Rey prodded Ben with the stick so he broke one off and jabbed at her. Rey dodged and countered.

The fighting was full of giggles and not much concentration but both had a desire to win. The pride and boasting rights were something they enjoyed. Well, only if they won of course. It became slightly more serious as they progressed and Rey was controlling the battle. She cornered Ben up against a tree but hadn’t disarmed him.

In a swift move, Ben ascended above Rey’s head taking her stick out of her hand as she watched the stunning move, too caught by surprise to react. The tide had shifted and it was now Ben, weapons in both hands, leaving Rey nowhere to go.

‘What happens now?’ Rey asked.

‘I guess I win.’ Ben unhumbly announced but Ben didn’t move. He stood where he was unmoving though his intentions rang clear in his head.

Hastily, he kissed Rey. He was hungry, hungry for her and she responded. She ran her hands down his six pack; fingers pressing along the inconsistency that defined his six sections. They were like rivers all joining back no matter what route you took.

Meanwhile, Ben was perfectly okay with what Rey was doing and was focused on biting her lip carefully. They both wanted more so the kiss became rougher and their bodies were pushed closer together to there wasn’t room for even dust between them. Ben carelessly clashed foreheads with Rey pushing her forehead back to make contact with the tree. She made a noise prompting Ben to stop realising what he’s done.

‘No, don’t stop.’ Rey panted. Ben put a hand behind her head and felt her hair matted to her head. He sighed.

‘You’re bleeding. We need to get it sorted.’ Ben demanded.

‘Just kiss me for another minute.’ Rey whined. Ben wanted to accept but she could have concussion and they needed to leave soon.

‘Absolutely not.’ Ben coldly answered. Picking it off the floor, Ben pressed his top at the back of her head to slow the bleeding. He grabbed Rey’s hand and marched her back to base.

‘You don’t like kissing me?’ Rey squeaked. Ben immediately turned around and inched closer to her so they’re eyelashes were practically touching.

‘Of course I do. I’d take you right here, right now if I could.’ Ben replied. He desperately wanted to. But there were bigger matters.

‘Then why don’t you.’ Rey giggled playfully.

‘Because your head is bleeding.’ Ben sighed. Rey groaned knowing Ben wasn’t going to give in and followed him to the medbay.

‘Don’t be so grumpy.’ Rey whined. She clearly seemed to be fine enough to complain like a small child though Ben wasn’t going to take any chances. ‘It’s not you fault.’ Rey acknowledged.

Ben whipped round again and growled communicating with thoughts and feelings through their bond rather than actual words. He felt guilty, angry and annoyed. Rey retaliated with the fact that she was okay and nothing serious had happened. It didn’t make Ben feel any better.

‘You don’t need to come with me. I can get there myself.’ Rey reminded. Ben knew she was slightly bothered by his sternness and bad attitude.

‘Yes, I know that. I’m still coming with you though.’ Ben snarled.

When they reached the medbay, Ben sat Rey on a bed and left the room to find a doctor. It was less than a minute before a young lady returned with some equipment to access Rey. After an examination, she concluded Rey had no concussion and was completely fine. However, they would have to scan for internal bleeding. The doctor acted completely unphased by the fact that Ben was shirtless. I mean she must have performed surgeries so seeing people without clothes wouldn’t bother her.

‘Right now? We’re leaving shortly for a mission!’ Ben shouted. Rey put her hand on his suggesting he needed to calm down. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. Can you do it fast?’

‘Yes, if there is nothing wrong, she’ll be done in time before you leave. May I ask how it happened?’ The doctor calmly queried. There was no urgency in the doctor’s actions which angered Ben but getting heated wouldn’t do any good.

‘I fell out of a tree whilst training.’ Rey instantly responded. She gave a kind smile to Ben. ‘I’ll see you later.’ Ben kissed her forehead and left heading back to his room to get another top. He did get some funny looks as he stomped back to Rey’s room which he had basically claimed as well.

He had hurt Rey again. He’d made her bleed, out of her head. Worse, there could be internal damage. Ben was hoping there wasn’t as it would only add to this lump of guilt. After turning back, he knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone. That was untrue. He’d managed to hit Rey’s head against a tree hard enough to cause bleeding. There was no way he’d tell anyone what really happened. Rey falling out a tree was good enough.

With time to spare, Ben put his thoughts aside and tidied their room. Rey had a Jedi collection pile on the floor. In there were mostly book but some other artefacts as well. He left them where they were because he didn’t want Rey going crazy at him if he lost something. If he had the time, he probably would have sat and read the ancient texts again. After all, they were Luke’s so he’d looked through them before.

It came to the time where Ben needed to be in the hangar. Rey hadn’t returned yet and he was marginally concerned. He reached to find her in the force but he couldn’t. She must be too far away or busy. There surely wasn’t anything wrong. He’d know or feel it.

Ben strolled through the base, this time with a top on, having no difficulty in finding the hangar. Already, there was a large congregation of people awaiting the orders. The aura in the air was full of excitement and a tiny bit of nerves but people were ready to head towards the action. People wanted to restore peace and get justice for the loved ones they’d lost. There was so much passion and love that was coming of the crowd of people huddled around the centre table.

Ben slipped to the front so he could be at the table. No one protested as he pushed he way to the front. Poe and Finn joined a few minutes later but Rey’s whereabouts were unknown. They noticed her absence as well.

‘Where’s Rey?’ Finn asked quietly not wanting to attract lots of attention. The three men were standing next to each other so they could talk without the entirety of the Resistance hearing. The generals hadn’t called for silence yet so they could still

‘The medbay.’ Ben whispered coolly. Finn grabbed his arm and Ben glared at him. His glare was enough for Finn to let go of him but his anger didn’t dissipate.

‘What did you do?’ Finn growled loud enough for Poe to hear and get involved. Poe shushed them both. Finn turned to Poe. ‘Rey’s in the medbay.’

‘What did you do?’ Poe spat. They both automatically blamed him and they were right, it was his fault, but Ben needed to go with the falling out the tree story otherwise someone would pick up that they told two different versions. Besides, it wasn’t their business what they had been doing in the forest.

‘Rey fell out a tree while training and hit her head. She’s fine, they’re just scanning for internal bleeding.’ Ben explained.

‘Fine?! How is possible internal bleeding fine?!’ Poe argued. He would have been shouting if it wasn’t for the room full of people.

‘Well good job there’s no internal bleeding then.’ All three men turned around to find Rey standing unimpressed. ‘I can take care of myself. You guys don’t need to worry so much.’ Ben was delighted that she was okay. The guilt was still there but it was the size of a nut rather than a moon

‘Are you okay?’ Ben questioned.

‘I’m absolutely fine. Nothing happened. It’s not your fault.’ Rey replied giving him a massive hug.

‘Why would it be Ben’s fault if you fell out a tree?’ Poe asked.

‘I could have caught her but I wasn’t quick enough.’ Ben sharply said. He spoke too quickly making them suspicious.

‘We’ll talk about this later.’ Finn instructed. ‘Welcome everyone!’ He turned to address the mass of people.

‘Today, we will be attacking the shipyard of Ord Mantell.’ Poe announced. There were murmurs which Poe tried to settle and eventually succeeded. ‘I know. This is a big job but I believe we can succeed. We have a brilliant battle plan and information on the base from Ben.’

‘Ord Mantell does not have any major resources that we require and it has been overrun by many gangs and crime syndicates but the First Order made peace with them allowing a large shipyard to be built.’ Finn added.

‘If we destroy this shipyard, they’re going to struggle making new destroyers, new TIE-fighters, new trooper carriers. Destroying this means they find it more difficult to expand. While we are expanding spectacularly.’ Poe praised.

‘The Millennium Falcon will take a few squadrons of x-wings that will engage the forces there and destroy the bases defence. Bombers protected by a-wings and y-wings will come in from the other side of the base while the TIE-fighters are shooting at the first wave.’ Finn slowly went through all the details including who was piloting what and which squadron leaders were in what wave. It was a very detailed plan, carefully constructed in the space of a morning. Ben was impressed. ‘We leave in less than an hour. Get to you ships and may the force be with you.’ Finn finished with a signature saying. Everyone dispersed but Ben held Rey back for a second.

‘Are you sure you’re good to come?’ Ben looked at her worriedly. He traced his finger along a loose curl of hair that had escaped her bandage.

‘Ben, stop worrying.’ Rey rolled her eyes. They both walked out to the Falcon where Chewie was making final preparations. He greeted them with a loud roar that made them both chuckle. Once Finn had joined them, they took off jumping to lightspeed with a ton of x-wings behind them.

It was a brief journey to the mid rim so there wasn’t much time to do anything other than a few repairs on the constantly broken Falcon. Ben never knew a time where the ship was in perfect condition.

Beeps signalled they needed to jump out of lightspeed. Ben and Finn headed to the guns while Rey and Chewie piloted the ship. They informed the squadron leaders that it was time and simultaneously they dropped out and a planet appeared up ahead.

There were clumps of blue where water was. Probably filled with large ecosystems depending on each other for survival all these organisms unknowing of the role they play in the circle of life. Locals were likely to fish as a way of making money or to eat them themselves.

As well as this, there were vast plains visible. Home to peace and serenity. The contrary of the body of water. That’s where they were headed. Just out of the city there was a cluster of buildings: built low and windowless so the contents remained unknown. The beginning of several star destroyers was evident and a few were almost complete. They had to complete this mission.

‘Alright everybody. Let’s get this job done cleanly and quickly.’ Poe yelled through the comm. It appeared he was in the first wave. The Resistance got relatively close to the base before it retaliated with fighters and ground cannons but they weren’t expecting and assault.

TIE-fighters screamed out the hangars unorganised and not in formation. This gave the Resistance and advantage. It took Ben a second to wake up and start firing back at the black ships. He fired red beams at them. It was ironic. X-wings and the Resistance shot red lasers and TIE-fighters shot green yet Sith lightsaber were red and some Jedi were green. It reminded Ben that he needed to create a new one.

_You okay down there?_

_Yeah, you?_

_It’s all good here in the cockpit._

Ben knew Rey was concentrating hard. The Falcon was a ship that the First Order were desperate to get their hands on. Mostly because they knew the crew that flew it. That crew were the best the most valuable as it contained not one but three force sensitives and a Wookie. They were worth a lot of credits and many bounty hunters would be hungry to get them. Nevertheless, they had to continue using that ship as it was rapid and efficient. Well, efficient in some ways.

Though Rey still managed to check on Ben. She had a much harder job and she took the time to establish Ben’s feelings. That made him smile and almost lose his attention.

_Ben, concentrate._

Rey’s warning wasn’t needed as he’d realised, he needed destroy TIEs instead of think about Rey- there would be time for that later. Now, they had to complete the task on hand.

It was going rather well. The Resistance were dominating. They were overwhelming and there was no backup. The x-wings had successfully destroyed all the ground cannons so the bombers would arrive soon. The gap of time allowed evacuations. Unless absolutely necessary, no one who doesn’t shoot first on the ground shouldn’t be killed. Most were juts civilians not given a choice so the Resistance was lenient.

‘Let’s go second wave.’ Poe instructed and immediately after more ships arrived from the other directions. ‘Let’s finish these last few then we’ll leave so the bombers can do your thing.’

That’s exactly what they did. Rey flew instinctively up and round which would make anyone who isn’t used to flying feel sick. Luckily, Ben was used to it. He could sense what Rey was going to do next and acted accordingly. He positioned his gun before she made the move so he could quickly eliminate the TIEs. Finn was not as good as Ben which made Ben elated. He’d obviously inherited his Father’s skills.

When Poe gave the order, the Falcon, as well as the other x-wings, left the vicinity allowing the bombers to come in. They caused flames and explosions becoming taller as tanks of fuel where set alight by the bombs.

‘Excellent job everyone. Let’s head home.’ Poe praised. Ben knew he was smiling from the tone of his voice. Poe was right. They’d completed the mission with only a few casualties compared to the First Order. It was definitely a victory.

_Why wasn’t there any backup._

_I’m not sure Rey. Maybe no one sent out a distress call._

_It seems a bit suspicious. We might just be paranoid and there just wasn’t any ships close enough._

_We won Rey. Let’s just celebrate._

That’s why they did that night. There was a large party under the stars that could have probably heard the laughter from millions of the lightyears away. Though some of the stars had systems that were still under the grip of the First Order. The war wasn’t over yet. We still had a long way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! I hope you're enjoying your day whether you celebrate Christmas or not :) I wasn't going to post over the Christmas period but I realised there are some people who will be alone this Christmas due to the pandemic or other reasons so I decided to write this chapter. It's been a difficult year and I hope this chapter and fanfic as a whole brings joy or even just makes you smile. Make sure you stay safe and look after yourself. Best wishes HappyWookie <3
> 
> Also, this is the longest chapter yet!


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